Oh, Tori. I’m no hater but this girl just doesn’t know how to work what she’s got, you know? And this look is just TOO MUCH. Too tan, too blonde, too red-lip. It all makes her features look chiseled and hard, when what she really needs is to be softening things up as much as possible. And that uni-boob green dress doesn’t do her any favours either. My favourite Tori (because I DO like Tori—who else can say they’ve actually read sTORI Telling?) was during Season 1 and 2 of Tori & Dean: Inn Love. (Photo evidence here.) Longer, more natural-looking hair, waaaay less makeup and zero hint of faux tanner. I even liked the California-style T-shirts and sweats! (Possibly because they’re my freelancer’s uniform of choice these days.) Anyway—Tori, will you let me make you under?