Quote: The beauty therapist’s banter

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More from Hadley:

“Most people shell out for a beauty treatment in the belief it will make them feel better about themselves, the sweet naive fools. Accept now that you will probably leave feeling a heck of a lot worse. Oh sure, you will be moisturized, oiled, dehaired, and cleansed, but you will have encountered the cruel sadism that is known as The Beauty Therapist’s Banter. The beauty therapist is a species of mankind more cruel than a gynecologist’s assistant (“I promise this won’t hurt. You may, though, feel some discomfort…”), and we all have our own horror story. One friend settled herself down to a harmless massage only to hear the giggling observation, “Oh! Very pimply!” Another went for a facial, and as the facialist peered closely at her skin she asked my friend, “So, how old are you? Forty-three? Forty-five?” overestimating by almost a decade.


Some might see it as the tax one pays for vanity, but I’d have thought that the price one forks out for these treatments was sufficient recompense.”

Oh, can I ever relate to this one. I’ve been known to spontaneously cancel spa appointments at the first sign of a blossoming blemish, just to avoid the inevitable Beauty Therapist Judgement. (And after that, the awkward lecture on why I should be drinking more water, exfoliating more frequently or using their 12 different skincare products three times a day.)

Don’t get me wrong, however—I love the idea of a spa treatment. It’s just that there have been very, very few that I’ve actually enjoyed. (One of the best was this one.)

What were your best and worst beauty treatments?

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