Back in September, at the end of New York Fashion Week, I posted a collection of rather unadvisable hair and makeup looks. Of course, none of it was THAT bad. (Okay, maybe Marc Jacobs’ clown faces, but that was it.) New York designers are generally pretty reasonable when it comes to beauty.
But those Europeans? CRAZY TOWN. When I was at ELLE, it was always a joy sifting through the fashion week images from Paris, London and Milan. These designers’ vision of crazy was truly breathtaking.
So. For the purpose of nothing except having a laugh today, please sit back, scroll on, and let the freak show begin! (Note: These images get progressively worse. Ha!)
First up we have Christian Dior. Can you say OVERDONE? Some beauty pundits liked this look, but I’m not a fan of anything this retro. (They tried to modernize it with the clashing purple eyeshadow… but honestly? It just clashes.)
Here we have Marni’s attempt at haute gypsy. I don’t hate it, but I prefer to go about my day looking like I at least tried to cobble together a somewhat polished appearance. Just imagine how many hours the hair and makeup people put in to get the girls looking this bedraggled:
Remember those circular hairbands with the teeth? Always hated them, but they were really “in” in the ’90s, and now Yves Saint Laurent has resurrected them. In multiples.
Now we have Roksanda Ilincic, where the models apparently got doused in copious amounts of oil and an ugly shade of rust-brown shadow. Doesn’t this gal look positively murderous? I guess I’d feel that way too if somebody made me go out in public like this.
Now Luella, where they’ve taken the idea of the fun, kooky girl-woman and REALLY ran with it. This could put you off bows and blue eyeshadow for life.
Most fashion weeks include at least one bird’s nest hairdo, and Lanvin does not disappoint:
Now, here come the REALLY good ones. At Comme des Garçons, there was a Marie Antoinette revival—complete with red and white hair, giant safety pins and some serious under-eye circles.
John Galliano’s show was said to be inspired by silent film stars facing their inevitable career demise. (Sounds like publishing.) I appreciate the artistry that went into this, I really do, but doesn’t this lady look like she’d haunt you? (Shudder.)
Yohji Yamamoto can always be counted on to bring the crazy, and here we’ve got not only the aforementioned bird’s nest hairdo, but also some impressively bushy green eyebrows.
And finally, we have Alexander McQueen, where the models were perfectly alien-esque. Yowza!