Zerona review: My first two sessions

UPDATE: I’ve concluded that this procedure does not work—my feeling is that any weight loss that people experience comes from the supplement, Curva (NOT the Zerona sessions themselves). To read the full series of posts on my experience, see here: a Q&A with Dr. Mulholland, the pre-treatment measurements and photos, my first two sessions, the mid-treatment measurements, post-treatment measurements and then final measurements. I then started a second round of (six) treatments, but once again did not experience any changes. I believe that LipoSonix sounds more promising.

Last week, I told you about my encounter with some measuring tape and a pair of paper panties. Since then, I’ve had two actual Zerona sessions—I have four more to go—so today, I’m going to tell you what those were like.

(And if you’re just joining my Zerona fat-burning journey, find out what it’s all about here, and then read this Q&A.)

Honestly? It’s no big deal at all. I’d heard stories of people trying out fat-reducing treatments where the spa SAID it wouldn’t hurt… but it, in fact, DID hurt—A LOT—and they emerged with welts all over the treated area. (Not to point fingers, but I think that happened with UltraShape.)

There’s none of that here. Trust me—with Zerona, you don’t feel a single thing.

Here’s how it all goes down (with pics!):

First, you’re escorted into the treatment room and told to strip down to the dreaded paper thong again. (By now, we’re quite well-acquainted.) You’re also given a pair of protective sunglasses to wear, which is standard for any laser treatment, since exposure to the laser light can harm your eyes.

There’s a treatment bed in the room that looks like this (although it won’t be all rumpled—it’s only like that because I took this photo after my session):

Once you’ve undressed, you lie down. I usually start on my stomach, so I can read, although it’s a bit awkward because you have to hold your arms out to the side so the machine can get at the maximum surface area. Oh, and you actually have to slip out of your bra as well. Fun fact: it penetrates paper but not clothing. So unless you’ve got a paper bra hanging around… off it goes.

Then your medical esthetician comes in and wheels the machine over. It looks like this:

The device has to be positioned so all the heads (there are four) are about six inches away from your body, all hovering around your trunk area. Once it’s in place, your esthetician leaves the room and you just lie there for 20 minutes while little red laser beams circle around your body.

After 20 minutes passes, your esthetician comes back again to flip you over to the other side for another 20 minutes. Note: on your back, you have to be topless with your arms up, so really the only thing you can do is snooze. And yes, it’s a little weird to be lying there practically naked, but the ladies are VERY discreet. (And for people in that business, you’re just another body, right? They really don’t care about your cellulite.)

And that’s the whole process! Again—it’s painless and you feel nothing at all. There could be worse ways to drop a few pounds, yes?

Mid-way through the treatments is another measuring session, so I’ll share results of that next time—hopefully I’ll get some results!

As always, drop me a line in the comments if there’s anything you’re curious about or that I haven’t covered yet and you want me to find out.