Tangerine-coloured Oompa Loompa skin.
Frosty lipstick and eyeshadow (and not in the shimmery Jessica Alba way).
Bargain-basement boob jobs.
Long, squarish, French manicured nails (ahem: the cool girls are wearing rounded half-moon manis right now).
Dye jobs that are either purple—or highlights that appear to have been achieved via a box of Jolen bleach (as in: stripey, orange and about the opposite of the tone-on-tone look I was talking up here).
SRSLY: There are just too many beauty crimes to even mention when it comes to the cast of Jersey Shore. And now, I don't know whether to laugh or cry about the news that Snooki and Sammi Sweetheart are launching not just fragrances, but—in Snooki's case—also beauty and personal care products.
I think I will cry.
According to the NY Post, Snooki's licensing deals will start with "fuzzy slippers, blingy jewelry, and giant sunglasses."
"Then, over the next year, the firm also sees the potential to expand into numerous other categories, including denim, sportswear, lingerie, handbags, personal care, beauty products, fragrances, swimwear, bedding and home goods."
And I thought the Bieber beauty stuff was bad. (It's actually not—I'd wear the nail polish.)
Meanwhile, Sammi Sweetheart wants a piece of that action with her new fragrance. It's called Dangerous and the ad is très ghetto-tastic:
I don't even like REAL celebrity fragrances (okay, J. Lo Glow is one exception, but when did that come out? 2000? And Chandler Burr likes it too). Now I can't believe we have to contend with REALITY STAR fragrances. And makeup. (Shudder.)
You know, I can appreciate the marketing genius of it all... and on the plus side, I suppose there is an argument to be made for the democratization of beauty and fashion ideals. It's sort of like how the Internets opened things up for bloggers to have a voice, not just journalists. Now Snooki can tell us what to wear—right alongside Vogue. Ha!
But honestly? Call me a snob, but this shiz is seriously disturbing (although not surprising, if you've been paying attention).
Personally, I think it's about more than just some random tacky-looking people gaining fame and fortune. Sistas, I think we're seeing some kind of post-Sex and the City race to the bottom in terms of femininity. (A race that included such events as Britney and LiLo letting us know a few years ago that they don't wear panties.)
Can't we ladiez be attractive with TASTE and CLASS and not this overt, in-your-face, skanky-looking shiz? Why is having to look as "sexy" as possible (and your mileage may vary on that "sexy" part) considered the ideal amongst a certain segment of the population?
Rise up, people. We need to raise the standards here.
Are you disturbed by the thought of Jersey Shore beauty prodz?
Or are you giving these ladies props for cashing in on their fame?
Wouldn't it be nice if more females got inspiration from Mad Men instead?