Snooki and Sammi Sweetheart are launching beauty prodz; beauty editors weep (but we knew it would come to this)

Snooki bad makeup

Tangerine-coloured Oompa Loompa skin.

Frosty lipstick and eyeshadow (and not in the shimmery Jessica Alba way).

Bargain-basement boob jobs.

Long, squarish, French manicured nails (ahem: the cool girls are wearing rounded half-moon manis right now).

Dye jobs that are either purple—or highlights that appear to have been achieved via a box of Jolen bleach (as in: stripey, orange and about the opposite of the tone-on-tone look I was talking up here).

SRSLY: There are just too many beauty crimes to even mention when it comes to the cast of Jersey Shore. And now, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about the news that Snooki and Sammi Sweetheart are launching not just fragrances, but—in Snooki’s case—also beauty and personal care products.

I think I will cry.

Snooki blowing a kiss Snooki and Sammi Sweetheart are launching beauty prodz; beauty editors weep (but we knew it would come to this)

According to the NY Post, Snooki’s licensing deals will start with “fuzzy slippers, blingy jewelry, and giant sunglasses.”

“Then, over the next year, the firm also sees the potential to expand into numerous other categories, including denim, sportswear, lingerie, handbags, personal care, beauty products, fragrances, swimwear, bedding and home goods.”

And I thought the Bieber beauty stuff was bad. (It’s actually not—I’d wear the nail polish.)

Meanwhile, Sammi Sweetheart wants a piece of that action with her new fragrance. It’s called Dangerous and the ad is très ghetto-tastic:

sammi sweetheart dangerous fragrance Snooki and Sammi Sweetheart are launching beauty prodz; beauty editors weep (but we knew it would come to this)

I don’t even like REAL celebrity fragrances (okay, J. Lo Glow is one exception, but when did that come out? 2000? And Chandler Burr likes it too). Now I can’t believe we have to contend with REALITY STAR fragrances. And makeup. (Shudder.)

You know, I can appreciate the marketing genius of it all… and on the plus side, I suppose there is an argument to be made for the democratization of beauty and fashion ideals. It’s sort of like how the Internets opened things up for bloggers to have a voice, not just journalists. Now Snooki can tell us what to wear—right alongside Vogue. Ha!

But honestly? Call me a snob, but this shiz is seriously disturbing (although not surprising, if you’ve been paying attention).

Personally, I think it’s about more than just some random tacky-looking people gaining fame and fortune. Sistas, I think we’re seeing some kind of post-Sex and the City race to the bottom in terms of femininity. (A race that included such events as Britney and LiLo letting us know a few years ago that they don’t wear panties.)

Can’t we ladiez be attractive with TASTE and CLASS and not this overt, in-your-face, skanky-looking shiz? Why is having to look as “sexy” as possible (and your mileage may vary on that “sexy” part) considered the ideal amongst a certain segment of the population?

Rise up, people. We need to raise the standards here.

Tell me:

Are you disturbed by the thought of Jersey Shore beauty prodz?
Or are you giving these ladies props for cashing in on their fame?
Wouldn’t it be nice if more females got inspiration from Mad Men instead?

31 Comments

Meredith
Monday, January 10/2011 at 2:32 pm

I think I am going to throw up.

Well they probably have to have their own line. What ‘decent’ cosmetics company would have them as a spokesperson?

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, January 12/2011 at 7:40 pm

Seriously! I think I’d have to boycott them.

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Mia
Monday, January 10/2011 at 2:46 pm

I am disturbed. Very disturbed. The only comforting thought to all this is that this will all blow up in their faces. Remember Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen cheap drugstore makeup? Yeah, very short lived.

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, January 12/2011 at 7:41 pm

It’s kind of sad actually when you realize the joke is on them and they don’t see it…nobody will remember who they are in 5 years.

Although I’m not that sad because how many thousands of dollars are these chicks raking in?

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H
Monday, January 10/2011 at 4:29 pm

SO true. I was just watching Mad Men last night and thinking to myself, why can’t women still look this elegant? Where has class gone (and that applies to some of these bummy looking men too)? I wish girls would put away the boobs and hair extensions…I thought it was bad during the “britney” everyone be blonde/tanned phase, but now this…

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, January 12/2011 at 7:42 pm

I would be deliriously happy if we could walk around like Mad Men extras! Oh well… the skank continues.

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Gimped
Monday, January 10/2011 at 5:35 pm

Oh Michelle, I love you so much. Freely throwing around the work “skank.” *heart*

I have never watched an episode of Jersey Shore, but I am definitely disturbed at the thought of ANY cast member launching into the beauty prod world. It doesn’t take a JS connoisseur to see that the girls are skanky and the guys … well they’re just as bad — The Situation … really??

Skank is so 1999. Sleek and conservatively sexy is the way to go these days. There IS such a thing as too much, and unfortunately The Snooks has yet to figure that out. My guess: she’s likely a very attractive young woman under all that skanky shiz. How GORGEOUS do the girls look in the Harper’s Bazaar shoot?

@Meredith: TOTALLY agree with you. Lol!!

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Kat
Monday, January 10/2011 at 6:53 pm

Oh wow!! Is that Jwoww wearing a Marchesa gown?!!! I’d never seen this before, just… wow! It really is amazing what a disservice bad clothes and makeup can do to a person… oh well. Trash un jour, trash toujours… !

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, January 12/2011 at 7:46 pm

I dunno… looking at that Bazaar pic again – doesn’t JWoww still look like she would cut a b*tch? But yeah… they look so much better without the club wear. SO 1999!

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Kat
Thursday, January 13/2011 at 8:24 pm

You can take the girls out of the ghetto… but you can’t take the ghetto out of the girls!

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shelby
Monday, January 10/2011 at 6:40 pm

i’m just disturbed my jersey shore in general and the people who watch it, gaaahd

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Tracy
Monday, January 10/2011 at 6:57 pm

Holy crap I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit.
Why? Why? Why? Who the hell looks up to Snooki or Sammi? These are not role models for anybody! Why would I or any sane woman want to smell like either of them?
That’s it-this must be a sign of the world ending in 2012 for sure! hahahahaha

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Kat
Monday, January 10/2011 at 6:59 pm

I’ve been secretly dreaming of sending Snooky on What Not To Wear since I first saw her in JS.. wouldn’t it be the best episode EVER?!? Stacy would just rip those tight clothes to shreds, but I guess they’d have a hard time “Carmindizing” her… how do you hide all this orange?!

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Elaine
Monday, January 10/2011 at 11:11 pm

oh my! a WNTW intervention would be AMAZING!!!!!!!

why don’t they have a Sex and the City beauty line? or Mad Men? Or anything that isn’t a reality show :(

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Kat
Tuesday, January 11/2011 at 5:54 pm

Sarah Jessica Parker does have beauty products, including my favourite body milk, Lovely (it smells so… lovely!!! xD), but really, the issue is that these girls are not actresses. Therefore, they need us to buy their “merch” to pay for all that tanning and Ed Hardy clothing. It’s their only way of capitalizing on their “carreer”, because let’s face it.. once JS is over, so are Snooky, JWoww et cie. The Mad Men actresses, however, don’t need you to buy their stuff, they actually work for their money. :P

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, January 12/2011 at 7:48 pm

SJP also just launched SJP NYC, to coincide with SATC 2 last summer. My friend’s observation: “It smells like baby prostitutes.”

But I agree, Lovely is really nice (although it’s the least long-lasting scent I’ve ever tried).

Oh and there is a Mad Men nailpolish line, but it’s assy. Not the right colours at all.

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Kat
Thursday, January 13/2011 at 8:20 pm

I saw the boxset for that SJP NYC stuff on discount at the drug store just last night. It caught my attention enough to check it out, but it’s a 40$ I’m just not spending on something I can’t smell beforehand. And now reading that (awesome Mean Girls) quote, I’m glad I didn’t get carried away!

Gimped
Tuesday, January 11/2011 at 10:00 am

That would be AWESOME!! Let’s get a petition to Stacy!!!

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Kat
Tuesday, January 11/2011 at 5:56 pm

Let’s do eet!

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, January 12/2011 at 7:47 pm

OMG! Carmindy would definitely not be able to Carmindize! She would have to highlight Snooki’s entire face to get rid of the Oompa Loompa-ness.

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Kat
Thursday, January 13/2011 at 8:14 pm

Yep, that girl’s dewy in definitely fried. lol

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Kat
Thursday, January 13/2011 at 8:22 pm

is*

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Margaret | fangirlish
Monday, January 10/2011 at 8:43 pm

That is so worrying! It’s a scary sign of the times to say the least – it will be very interesting to see how this venture pans out.

Love that even former editors use the golden word “shiz” =]

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, January 12/2011 at 7:49 pm

I hope that doesn’t ruin my credibility for the magazine articles I still write! But if that “word” ever needed to be used, it’s for this!

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Makeup Morsels
Monday, January 10/2011 at 10:34 pm

uh excuse me, I did NOT know that it would come to this. I am weeping, though. I was pleasantly surprised by Katy Perry’s fragrance. I think it’s mostly the bottle hahah… but the scent, it’s not original, but it’s pleasant.

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, January 12/2011 at 7:50 pm

Yes I love the cat bottle too! (Proud cat lady here)

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Kathy
Tuesday, January 11/2011 at 1:39 pm

I think there are many different ways of expressing one’s sexuality/sensuality without everything being so in your face. I can only hope these girls fade into oblivion by the time my daughter is a teen. The idea of them pushing a product line just shows that they know the clock is ticking on them and they need to cash in every which way they can while there is any interest at all. For sure not something I would buy.

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Erin
Wednesday, January 12/2011 at 12:05 am

Why so critical? Everyone has their own style.

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Tamara
Wednesday, January 12/2011 at 10:54 am

I’ll admit that Jersey Shore is a morbidly fascinating indulgence, but I’m not so far gone to ever think that beauty tips from any of the ladies would actually apply to me and my preferences.

I’d probably look at any cosmetics out of curiosity’s sake, but their image is not mine so I doubt I’d find anything useful, even if the quality wasn’t horrendous.

That fragrance ad is vile. It’s so sketchy, it doesn’t even look real.

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Lauren
Wednesday, January 12/2011 at 4:20 pm

I will admit that Jersey Shore is a guilty pleasure of mine. But that is all that it is. I pray that these girls do not start influencing popular make-up trends… the snookie poof has had enough popularity I don’t think I could handle the frosty eyes and lips

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, January 12/2011 at 7:51 pm

Praying with you!

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