And now for some constructive beauty criticism. Because that’s what the Oscars are all about, n’est-ce pas?
Actually, I thought the celebs didn’t do too badly overall, considering all the missteps we saw at the Globes especially. Of course, after all those trial runs in January, they KNOW to bring their A Game (check out my “Oscar bests” post here). For the past several weeks, I’ve been receiving press releases on the daily about what they all do to prepare. (Think: military-style schedules involving everything from personal training sessions, Botox injections, facials, highlights, dress fittings, mani-pedis, etc. etc. You know the drill.)
However, the thing that warms my heart is that money can’t always buy taste or good beauty decision-making. Luckily, I KNOW you’ll chime in with your opinion on what they could’ve done better. I’ll start…
MOST SAMEY McSAMERSON (tie): Michelle Williams
I’m going to come right out and say it. I’m bored of this hair on Michelle. It always looks exactly the same (not that you can do that much with short hair, but Ginnifer Goodwin always seems to switch things up). And along with her makeup, it was pretty much a carbon copy of what she did for the Globes. (Okay, maybe the hair is a fraction longer. Big whoop.) I suppose I’m also influenced by the dress, which admittedly was a big improvement over the daisies, but still super boring. Come on, Michelle! Entertain us. At least a bright lip or something.
Anyway, she’s a tie with…
MOST SAMEY McSAMERSON #2: Halle Berry
Again, looks great—amazing, even—but along with the Marchesa dress, I’ve seen it a thousand times before. I know, Halle is perfect and doesn’t need to do anything differently. But beauty-wise, she pretty much always lands up on my “boring/worst of” lists because the hair and makeup has not changed in a decade.
MOST INAPPROPRIATE HAIR-TOUSLING: Scarlett Johansson
I think people are divided on this one, and I have to say that I love how Scarlett isn’t afraid to take risks (remember the yellow eyeshadow?). I just think this was the wrong risk for the Oscars. I’m talking about her hair. If it were the SAGs or Globes or any other event, I’d probably say that I loved it. But here—especially with that dress, which I am also not sure of—it’s a bit messy. I think the texture-y look would be better channeled into the polished waves that Amy Adams and Natalie Portman were wearing.
Do you like the eye makeup? It’s
NARS Dolce & Gabbana. I can’t decide if I love or hate that brown colour.
WORST BRIGHT LIP: Mandy Moore
You know I’m a Mandy Moore fan. But I don’t know what happened here. First of all, I think the updo needs to be looser, with some more hair around her face. And second, as much as I love an orange lip—and it is so on trend for spring 2011—why is it not working here? Perhaps it’s because the dress is so princess-like, it calls for something softer and sweeter. Princesses do NOT wear orange lipstick. She looked better during the show in that blue dress, when she was singing and had her hair down… although like I said, the bedazzled hair clip was just wrong.
WORST (BEST?) BARBIE HAIR: Reese Witherspoon
When Reese started walking the red carpet last night, it was like Elle Woods all over again. Or Barbie. Or a cheerleader. Not just hair-wise, but her entire personality—she is SO good at working the crowd, you’ve gotta admire the girl. (She seriously needs to give Marky Mark’s wife some lessons on how to smile for the cameras.)
Anyway, following my London F/W ’11 observation about low ponytails being a new trend, I want to condemn this high pony wholeheartedly. Just like Anne Hathaway’s in-show braided bun, which gets a dishonourable mention…
…I detect the work of Ken Paves, or at least a Bumpit. However (and I can’t believe I’m saying this), something about it kind of suits Reese, as wrong as it is. I know, feel free to unsubscribe immediately.
Still, I do NOT advise trying this one at home. Love the green earrings, though.
MOST MUMSY HAIR: Cate Blanchett
Bring on the haterade, because I’m one of the few peeps who did not get Cate’s dress. (This is why I write about beauty, I guess.) And while I understand that with those shoulders, you wouldn’t want to do much with the hair, it’s so boring, dude. Do you agree? I know Cate is gorgessity personified, but I don’t like the haircut OR the earrings. Together, they make her look from the neck up like some nice lady who works in the library and shops at Talbots.
LAZIEST HAIR: Nicole Kidman
Nicole’s been doing well on the makeup front lately (although I still have a HUGE issue with her upper lip). But what’s going on with the hair? Once, when Sally Hershberger was in town presenting to the Toronto beauty eds, she talked about how she used to go to Tom and Nicole’s house to get them ready for the Oscars back in the day. I sure hope this wasn’t Sally’s work, because it looks like she just threw it up in a ponytail and went. (Trust me: from the back there is nothing special about this.)
UPDO THAT MOST RESEMBLES A BIRD’S NEST: Hilary Swank
Oh dear! I thought Hilary looked great from the front—until I saw this oddly textured low bun. At first, I thought it was actually covered with a hair net, but no, it appears to simply have beeen teased within an inch of its life. This is why, whenever you tease, you should always, always, always do it on the layers underneath, leaving the top part smooth so you can hide the roughage. What a shame.
WORST BEEHIVE: Sharon Stone
Now this is scary. Even if she’d worn her hair in a simple chignon it would’ve been scary. But the beehive is like the finishing touch. Eeks! Other things to note: I think the lipstick and eyeliner shades are too harsh for most people, especially on mature skin and especially worn together. (Less is more, Sharon!) And the blush application is so heavy and haphazard, it’s very distracting. Too bad, because Sharon is still a very beautiful woman.
WORST PROM HAIR: Melissa Leo
Where do I begin with this one? I did see that a few Twitter peeps loved the dress, but again, I must not get fashion because I loathed it. (A doily? With gold sequins underneath? And sticky-outy shoulders? And a high collar? Nonononono.) Sadly, the hair was all wrong too. As in Jessica McClintock called and her prom dress models want their hair back kind of wrong. I think with the poufy crown (another Bumpit?), and loose tendrils, it really ages her. Would’ve been much nicer to see something low and loose like Mila Kunis’ chignon. The lip gloss, too, seems a bit too pale and icy.
What did y’all think were the worst beauty looks of the night?
Do you also find it hard to hate on Reese’s high ponytail?
How did you feel about Cate and Melissa’s dresses?