This is going to sound totally mean, but every time I see Giuliana Rancic on Fashion Police with Joan Rivers, I wonder when Joan, along with the other hosts—particularly George Kotsiopoulos, because he’s the only one who really seems to know what he’s doing—are going to start policing HER look.
Oh come on, I know it’s crossed your mind too. Not so much in terms of what she wears (although a touch more fabric and less bling would be nice). It’s the beauty crimes of which I speak. Reader Tegan has noticed them too:
Loved your article on Taylor Swift. Couldn’t agree more. Speaking of beauty ruts… how about Guiliana Rancic from E!. She has had the same ombre, curled extension look for-ever! Love her, but come on. Would be interested to hear your take on what she could do to mix it up!
And so, by reader request (because I like to be servicey), here’s my game plan for a Giuliana beauty overhaul… in 5 easy steps!
STEP #1: THE HAIRCUT (GET ONE.)
You know how I always rant about how tired I am of that “Hollywood hair” look? You know—verrrry long hair, most likely achieved via extensions, that have also been curled with a flat iron for an effect that’s very piecey (which is NOT in style anymore) and sort of droopy, like sad, shapeless curtains around the face?
Wow, that was a run-on sentence. Cue visual:
Well, my strong dislike for this style is basically all Giuliana’s fault. I swear that she is the worst offender. And so my beauty prescription for her involves a) removal of said extensions, and b) a drastic chop. Something along the lines of Olivia Palermo’s lob, which we all admired the other day, would be nice:
Dontcha think? It would be a great start—hair would look instantly thicker and waaaay healthier. And she could even still curl it, if she wanted to go a bit Diane Kruger on us:
I would also like to see Giuls with bangs, though, because bangs automatically make you look younger and dramatically cut down on your need for Botox. Fact.
STEP #2: THE HAIR COLOUR (DARKEN IT.)
You already know that I’m no longer feeling the love for Ombré. That’s because I think it looks best on wavy hair, without bangs… but I also ditched it because I’m no Alexa Chung. You need a certain coolness factor to pull it off, and I don’t have it.
And, I’m afraid, neither does Giuliana.
The other factor is that I don’t think blonde is great with her skin tone. (IS that her skin tone? I suppose it’s the fake tan, but my point remains the same.) Instead, I’d REALLY love to see her embrace her natural brown. Check her out when she was Giuliana DiPandi—sure, she was younger here, but not that much younger. Way prettier though!
As you can see, however, the faux-tanning addiction started early, which brings me to…
STEP #3: THE SPRAY TAN (STOP IT!)
Obviously this is her worst beauty crime. I know tanned skin supposedly makes you look “skinnier” and “healthier”—but Lord knows she doesn’t need to be any skinnier… and I think when your tan gets this dark, you definitely don’t look any healthier.
Instead it just screams “Trying Too Hard.” Right?
Here she is in more pale-skinned times…
Much better, non?
STEP #4: THE EYE MAKEUP (LIGHTEN UP!)
Okay, so Giuls is smart to stick to the neutrals. She did get that part right. But on the whole, her eye makeup is not only totes boring (she nevah changes it up!), but it is ALSO applied with a trowel.
It really ages her. I particularly dislike that bottom liner and very ’90s highlight underneath the brow.
I’d love to see her with a softer look—something more along the lines of Mila Kunis here, who has managed to emphasize her eyes without overdoing it on the brown eyeshadow and false lashes…
…or even (we can dream!) this triumph by Eva Mendes:
Giuliana’s brows, too, could use some darkening up to help frame her face.
STEP #5: THE LIP (WHERE IS IT?)
I don’t think we’ll ever see Giuliana with a bold red lip, but this shiny nude lip gloss thing, day in, day out, is getting real old.
Again, let’s take some cues from Eva Mendes, who does a more modern matte pink lip:
Or Odette Yustman, who is wearing a still-subtle but way punchier shade of rose:
So that concludes my beauty prescription…
Doesn’t this look nice?
Do you have any other tips for poor Giuls?
We’re not going to talk about her weight, because I got in trouble last time I pointed out that Kate Bosworth needs a hamburger. Instead, I will point you toward this examination of her diet and fitness regimen. Gurrrrl… Frankie says Relax!