Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

Giuliana Rancic SAG Awards 2011

This is going to sound totally mean, but every time I see Giuliana Rancic on Fashion Police with Joan Rivers, I wonder when Joan, along with the other hosts—particularly George Kotsiopoulos, because he’s the only one who really seems to know what he’s doing—are going to start policing HER look.

Oh come on, I know it’s crossed your mind too. Not so much in terms of what she wears (although a touch more fabric and less bling would be nice). It’s the beauty crimes of which I speak. Reader Tegan has noticed them too:

Loved your article on Taylor Swift. Couldn’t agree more. Speaking of beauty ruts… how about Guiliana Rancic from E!. She has had the same ombre, curled extension look for-ever! Love her, but come on. Would be interested to hear your take on what she could do to mix it up!

And so, by reader request (because I like to be servicey), here’s my game plan for a Giuliana beauty overhaul… in 5 easy steps!

STEP #1: THE HAIRCUT (GET ONE.)

You know how I always rant about how tired I am of that “Hollywood hair” look? You know—verrrry long hair, most likely achieved via extensions, that have also been curled with a flat iron for an effect that’s very piecey (which is NOT in style anymore) and sort of droopy, like sad, shapeless curtains around the face?

Wow, that was a run-on sentence. Cue visual:

Giuliana Rancic hair Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

Well, my strong dislike for this style is basically all Giuliana’s fault. I swear that she is the worst offender. And so my beauty prescription for her involves a) removal of said extensions, and b) a drastic chop. Something along the lines of Olivia Palermo’s lob, which we all admired the other day, would be nice:

Olivia Palermo Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

Dontcha think? It would be a great start—hair would look instantly thicker and waaaay healthier. And she could even still curl it, if she wanted to go a bit Diane Kruger on us:

Diane Kruger 16th Annual Elle Women in Hollywood Tribute Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

I would also like to see Giuls with bangs, though, because bangs automatically make you look younger and dramatically cut down on your need for Botox. Fact.

STEP #2: THE HAIR COLOUR (DARKEN IT.)

You already know that I’m no longer feeling the love for Ombré. That’s because I think it looks best on wavy hair, without bangs… but I also ditched it because I’m no Alexa Chung. You need a certain coolness factor to pull it off, and I don’t have it.

And, I’m afraid, neither does Giuliana.

The other factor is that I don’t think blonde is great with her skin tone. (IS that her skin tone? I suppose it’s the fake tan, but my point remains the same.) Instead, I’d REALLY love to see her embrace her natural brown. Check her out when she was Giuliana DiPandi—sure, she was younger here, but not that much younger. Way prettier though!

Giuliana DiPandi Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

As you can see, however, the faux-tanning addiction started early, which brings me to…

STEP #3: THE SPRAY TAN (STOP IT!)

Obviously this is her worst beauty crime. I know tanned skin supposedly makes you look “skinnier” and “healthier”—but Lord knows she doesn’t need to be any skinnier… and I think when your tan gets this dark, you definitely don’t look any healthier.

Giuliana Rancic tan Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

Instead it just screams “Trying Too Hard.” Right?

Here she is in more pale-skinned times…

Giuliana Rancic darker hair Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

Much better, non?

STEP #4: THE EYE MAKEUP (LIGHTEN UP!)

Okay, so Giuls is smart to stick to the neutrals. She did get that part right. But on the whole, her eye makeup is not only totes boring (she nevah changes it up!), but it is ALSO applied with a trowel.

Giuliana Rancic makeup Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

It really ages her. I particularly dislike that bottom liner and very ’90s highlight underneath the brow.

I’d love to see her with a softer look—something more along the lines of Mila Kunis here, who has managed to emphasize her eyes without overdoing it on the brown eyeshadow and false lashes…

Mila Kunis Golden Globes 2011 Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

…or even (we can dream!) this triumph by Eva Mendes:

Eva Mendes 2011 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

Giuliana’s brows, too, could use some darkening up to help frame her face.

STEP #5: THE LIP (WHERE IS IT?)

I don’t think we’ll ever see Giuliana with a bold red lip, but this shiny nude lip gloss thing, day in, day out, is getting real old.

Giuliana Rancic hair and makeup Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

Again, let’s take some cues from Eva Mendes, who does a more modern matte pink lip:

Eva Mendes 2010 MTV Movie Awards Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

Or Odette Yustman, who is wearing a still-subtle but way punchier shade of rose:

Odette Yustman Golden Globes 2011 after party Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

So that concludes my beauty prescription…

And now, courtesy of InStyle‘s wonderful Virtual Makeover Tool (and Michelle Monaghan’s hairdo, which coincidentally is also my “Life Cut”) I will put it all together:

Giuliana Rancic makeover Did I say Taylor Swift was in a beauty rut? I think I meant Giuliana Rancic—here are 5 things she needs to fix, stat!

Doesn’t this look nice?
Do you have any other tips for poor Giuls?
We’re not going to talk about her weight, because I got in trouble last time I pointed out that Kate Bosworth needs a hamburger. Instead, I will point you toward this examination of her diet and fitness regimen. Gurrrrl… Frankie says Relax!

25 Comments

Anya
Tuesday, April 12/2011 at 2:01 pm

She kind of looks like an ant. The tan doesn’t help the ant-ness.

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brioche
Wednesday, April 13/2011 at 3:21 am

*spits tea on screen*

can’t unsee! She really does!

http://thecia.com.au/reviews/a/images/antz-2.jpg

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Jenncharina
Tuesday, April 12/2011 at 2:33 pm

She also needs to eat.

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, April 13/2011 at 12:59 pm

Yes, she talks about her low-fat diet and exercise regimen on her website… it’s pretty extreme. I have to wonder if her fertility issues are linked to it. Very sad.

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Mo
Tuesday, April 12/2011 at 9:10 pm

Finally some one has done it!!! I am so proud. I watch Fashion Police and wonder why she is allowed to have any opinion at all???????? Everything you said is very true

thanks
mo

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, April 13/2011 at 1:00 pm

Haha! Glad you agree :-)
She’s actually very pretty but with the tanning/dieting has developed a really hard look in the last year or two.

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Sophia
Tuesday, April 12/2011 at 9:13 pm

I don’t know why people think they can suit super light hair and super dark. I’ve watched a lot of girls go from blonde to deep chestnut brown… how many complexions could be compatible with both?! I think it’s great to switch things up or experiment to try and find what suits you best, but this is so drastic.

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Sophia
Tuesday, April 12/2011 at 9:16 pm

I will add that when I first coloured my hair at the end of 7th grade, I went this awful dark eggplanty red shade (soooper unnatural colour on anyone). I’m very fair, freckled, naturally light brown/dark blondeish hair… the pictures from this phase have scarred me, and I will never go back to something so harsh.

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, April 13/2011 at 1:04 pm

Same here! After I let a colourist do solid colour platinum blonde once (“You’re in fashion! You have to!” he told me – instant regret) I had to go dark brown to hide the damage and the ugly regrowth lines he created. So many bad photos from that period! Since I have fair skin and blue eyes I thought I could easily do a Zooey Deschanel look – but it never looked natural on me. Now I have to stick with blonde.

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, April 13/2011 at 1:01 pm

I know what you mean – although J. Lo I guess sort of pulls off that honey colour. Giuliana however does not!

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Makeup Morsels
Tuesday, April 12/2011 at 10:34 pm

Oh WOW she tanned a lot. I think she looks so much younger as a brunette. Taylor Swift might have boring hair and makeup, but at least her usual look works for her better than this.

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, April 13/2011 at 1:05 pm

Totally! Taylor Swift could rock the side-parted wavy hair, liquid liner and red lip for the rest of time and it would still win over Giuliana’s tanorexia.

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Tegan
Wednesday, April 13/2011 at 1:14 pm

Thank you for answering my question! Couldn’t agree more. She is a beautiful person naturally, she needs to let that show through a little more.

Hopefully she will heed your advice :)

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Wednesday, April 13/2011 at 1:51 pm

My pleasure! Great post idea so thank you!

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Astrid
Thursday, April 14/2011 at 2:32 am

That makeover picture looks very Jessica Biel – such an improvement!

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Ana
Friday, April 15/2011 at 9:31 pm

She has an eating disorder. That is her biggest problem.

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E!fan
Thursday, July 28/2011 at 1:35 pm

Thank you! I too wonder how she can be a fashion commentator when her own look is so awful. I watch E! but she is making it really hard to stay tuned, she’ s so hard to look at. I wondered how she got hired til I saw your pictures of her from the past where her hair and skin color are natural and flattering – she actually looks cute instead of this lizard look of today (which she probably thinks is elegant). The flat head look is awful and with some layered bangs her other features could come out of the shadow of that forehead. I love her pics w/darker her. Your suggestions rock and I wish she’d read them – love the makeover!

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Sunday, July 31/2011 at 10:10 am

“The shadow of that forehead” – hahaha! Yes, I’ll bet Bill would be happy as well if Giuls followed these tips!

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jamie
Thursday, September 15/2011 at 8:52 am

leave the girl alone!!!!!!!!!!!yes shes very skinny but maybe she likes being that way! maybe you’re all jealous shes as skinny as she is.. whats it to you what her weight is? i think she looks gorgeous, yes maybe she is too skinny for some but to others including myself she still looks gorgeous.. and all the other “tips” are just ridiculous shes a grown woman she doesn’t need pathetic 2 cent tips..ive never seen a positive comment about her its ridiculous i absolutley love her personality, clothing taste, and great relationship with her husband. wow some people are ridiculous

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ann
Monday, September 19/2011 at 8:02 pm

I just don’t get the appeal of this girl.
E! used to have girls for a season or two and I’m just sick of her and that hair color is so awful and she claims it’s just grown out highlightes but you can clearly tell it’s just bad Ombre.
Great blog.
Eva Mendes is a goddess!

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Meh.
Tuesday, October 25/2011 at 2:59 am

Jamie needs to calm her tits. I would hate to be skinny like that it’s way too skinny it’s scary, and that’s nice you think she’s gorgeous (what are you on?) but not everyone thinks so.

I like this article, I don’t hate Giuliana and I feel bad for her but I can’t help but dislike how she looks. When I saw the pic of Giuliana without that terrible tan and bad hair, she looked beautiful, I was shocked… I never thought she could be gorgeous.

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brittney
Wednesday, December 7/2011 at 11:53 pm

You girls commenting are probably all ugly! You have to be crazy to think guiliana is not gorgeous. I mean the whole entire page comments on how every little part of her face is ugly. Your crazy! The only reason I kept looking at this page is to look at pics of rancic because she is so beautiful. I guarantee that half of you critics on here are not near as pretty as she is. JEALOUS!!!

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bes
Tuesday, December 20/2011 at 11:51 am

Guilina needs bangs baby…how great is that last picture.

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Cindy
Friday, May 4/2012 at 9:13 am

I love her hair colour. I adore her. Jennifer Lopez also does the blond look. With JLO I love her so much better blond then I did with her natural dark brown colour. She always looks like she has candlelight surrounding her. Even Eva Mendes who is naturally dark brown and also has done the really light hair as in pictures above suits the lighter hair. My sister in law is naturally dark brown almost black hair and she is big tanner. She does a really light blond. She once went white blond and it aged her ..now is it is a warmer blond. If she ever went back to her darker colour she just would not stand out the same. I think Guiliana really suits the blond…maybe lighten up on the shade of her faux tan.

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Jenn
Thursday, September 12/2013 at 10:52 pm

Are we forgetting this is a woman with health battles, who had managed to keep her head high, and look pretty damn good the whole time? I only came across this site as I was looking for pictures for my stylist, but wow. Judgmental much? I would love to see you all look better. Including your weird orange/blonde hair.

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