This week in beauty: Snooki without makeup, the new Vajazzling and beauty editor narcissism knows no bounds

Snooki makeup

This week kicked off with one of the beauty highlights of the year, the Golden Globe Awards. Not everyone felt my Zooey love, or that Michelle Williams’ headband was appropriate on someone well out of her tweens… but I think we all came together on the sentiment that Claire Danes really needs better people. I mean, come on—they couldn’t hand the girl some blotting sheets before going up there?

Anyway! Lots of other beauty goings-on that we should probably discuss. I wanna talk about what Snooki looks like without makeup; a new way to “enhance” your ladybits; celebrity doubles; my brow makeover; and how my vanity makes me work harder for YOU.

Guys! Snooki is actually really pretty.

You know, underneath all that… stuff. She Tweeted this pic earlier this week:

Snooki without makeup This week in beauty: Snooki without makeup, the new Vajazzling and beauty editor narcissism knows no bounds

I’m in shock. Girl looks better without makeup than I do! (As I mentioned here, I’m one of those unfortunate people who require a bit of concealer, blush and mascara at all times.) I just don’t understand… if Snooks looks this great naturally, whyyyyyyy cover it up with the fake tan/lashes/glitter/goop?

Fox fur is the new Vajazzling.

Remember when Vajazzling your vagine was all the rage? Or at least something we made fun of? Then, actually, there was the Vattoo. And the Vajacial. (I’ll leave you to this post if you need deets on those non beauty editor-endorsed services.)

Anyway, the newest treatment for down below may not have a catchy V-name, but it involves fox fur…

Completely Bare fox fur bikini wig This week in beauty: Snooki without makeup, the new Vajazzling and beauty editor narcissism knows no bounds
…and costs $225 for your esthetician to adhere it to your ladyparts post-waxing. (They can also do feathers.) Apparently it’s all-natural, but it only lasts for three days.

Jennifer Love Hewitt will be all over it.

Paris Hilton’s makeup artist gave me a brow makeover.

Speaking of esthetic services, this week I got the BEST brows of my life. And actually, no hairs were even plucked/tweezed/waxed etc. It was all done with brow pencils—and the skilled hands of DeeDee Marcelli, an L.A.-based makeup artist and brow expert who was in Toronto representing Chella. Chella’s a new brow- and lash-focused line at The Bay and they have some awesome prodz which I will elaborate on in a future post and video. (**Dying** to try the non-clamping heated lash curler.)

Anyway, DeeDee’s worked with ton of celebs, including Paris Hilton, Celine Dion, Tom Cruise and Nancy Reagan. Crazy, right? Still, I’m always a little apprehensive when someone wants to fill in my brows—definitely scarred by the time some random brand wanted to demonstrate their new brow stencils on me and filled them in BLACK. I had to run to the bathroom and scrub them off because I looked like a crazy Jack Nicholson lady.

But what DeeDee gave me? So lovely. She used this:

Chella Brow Pencil This week in beauty: Snooki without makeup, the new Vajazzling and beauty editor narcissism knows no bounds

In auburn! Have you ever heard of an auburn brow pencil? Me neither. But that’s why it looked so awesome; she used a combo of the auburn and a blonde to replicate my hair colour exactly (instead of the ashy taupe that most lines offer). It made a huge difference. I also learned that my brows are a little uneven, and how I can fill one side in to make them more symmetrical… but stupidly, I forgot to take a pic. Bad beauty blogger. But I suggest, if your hair has any sort of red in it, that you run—do not walk—to go check out this line.

Is your celebrity double comparison somewhat offensive?

I was reading this article on Allure.com today about celebrity doubles—I’ve ALWAYS sworn that everyone has one—and how sometimes it’s not too flattering.

Probably the best one ever is Katy Perry/Zooey Deschanel; I mean, how could anyone be offended by that? But I have a friend, and she is seriously super cute, who always gets Tori Spelling. Wouldn’t that ruin your night too?

Anyway, it was funny that I came across that story, because my Nicole Kidman comparisons were seriously at an all-time high this week for some reason. (Like, I got it three or four times in ONE DAY.) And you know, I’m not asking for sympathy comments or anything, but it’s a little depressing when your celebrity double is so wonky-looking:

Golden Globes 2012 Nicole Kidman This week in beauty: Snooki without makeup, the new Vajazzling and beauty editor narcissism knows no bounds

I just say.

Narcissism makes for a better beauty editor. Servicey!

You guys know I always joke about how vain and superficial I am, but I’m telling you—it’s not only part of the job, it’s what makes me GOOD at this job.

And other beauty editors agree. Like Cat from xojane.com. (Do you read her blog? You should. I’ll be the first to admit that beauty writing can be painfully boring—including many articles I’ve written myself!—and because I’m immersed in it 24/7, it usually feels like “work” to read other beauty writers. But Cat’s stuff? Over-sharey, yes, but refreshingly lacking that thin veil of seriousness that drives me mental with the beauty biz. Which is what I try my best to do here as well, obviously! Just promise that you’ll stay and still read me too, ‘kay?)

Anyway, just to give you a bit of insight into the “beauty editor mind,” you have to read the passage I identified with:

“So as a veteran beauty editor, I believe that everyone could be better looking. EVERYONE. [...] So I am shallow and looks-obsessed basically to the point of legitimate mental and emotional impairment. The good news is, you’re probably not as obsessively vain as I am, so this idea I’ve brought to your attention — that you always, always could be better looking than you are now — won’t distress you as much as, day in and day out, it tortures a narcissistic, insecure control freak. Like me. [...] On the bright side, these types of personality really do make the best beauty editors.”

It’s true! Good or bad (probably bad), I really do live and breathe this stuff. Although unlike Cat, I don’t think I’m down with encouraging people to have lip injections, which was the conclusion of that article. Although I do like this line: “I did get them free (but I get everything for free and always have, so it doesn’t influence my reviews ever at this point….” Another beauty editor truism. You can trust us, because we all have enough of a product stash to last ’til 2022.

Tell me:

Are you blown away by Snooki sans makeup?
Who is your celebrity double?
Is my narcissism rubbing off on you?

20 Comments

Ferris
Friday, January 20/2012 at 8:26 pm

Foxes should not die for women to use their fur!!!

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Mia
Sunday, January 22/2012 at 3:00 pm

I know! How stupid. They wax off all your hair and then replace it with hair from an animal who had to die for this silliness. And who would want something GLUED to that part of their body anyway?

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Cassandra
Friday, January 20/2012 at 10:03 pm

Omg. I am shocked at Snooki! She looks amazing. Did she have work done or is it really all that makeup making her look bad??

That fox applique is just weird. Would anyone besides strippers or porn stars want that? Why?

Nicole Kidman is very pretty. Not a bad doppelganger at all. I’ve only seen a few pics of you and you remind me of someone but I can’t think of who…

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Celeste
Friday, January 20/2012 at 11:43 pm

YES! Your narcissism is rubbing off on me, for sure! But I like it. In the last two months since I’ve started reading your blog, I’ve cut my hair in a lob, gone into brow rehab, and embraced the bare-faced look!

Oh and my celebrity double is Lisa-Marie Presley… what the heck.

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marta
Monday, January 23/2012 at 8:50 am

LoL

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Sophia
Saturday, January 21/2012 at 10:55 am

Im 90% sure Joe Fresh makes an auburn brow pencil

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Sophia
Saturday, January 21/2012 at 3:16 pm

PS – Taylor Swift’s Vogue cover? Love?

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elsie
Saturday, January 21/2012 at 8:53 pm

Is that first pic a recent pic of Snooki? In the picture of her without make up, her brows look a lot different, thicker. I feel like something is fishy there. And she seriously looks 12.

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Jude
Sunday, January 22/2012 at 8:07 am

Controversial, but I think Snooki only looks as pretty as she looks in that picture because she’s pouting. It makes her lips look full whereas when she’s not pouting they’re really quite thin.

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Meeka
Sunday, January 22/2012 at 10:18 am

I was actually convinced at first that was not Snooki. She just looks so incredibly different!
I think Nicole Kidman is not a bad person to be compared to, though her mouth is definitely off. It bothers me that her upper lip is so far up on her gums… Otherwise she’s quite beautiful when she eases up on the botox.
I got compared to Christina Hendricks a few times though that probably had more to do with my hair and figure than anything. But I’m definitely not insulted by the comparison!

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Marisa
Sunday, January 22/2012 at 2:17 pm

Lancome’s pencil to powder brow pencil in Chatiaigne is a lovely darker auburn, FYI :)

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ana p
Sunday, January 22/2012 at 4:11 pm

Awe, Michelle,
Thank you for your trueism! It makes me respect you even more, as being open and honest is being vulnerable – and that’s a strength I think! And because you’re self aware, I’m sure you are multifacited and are still cabable of seeing past your own nose.
Deep thoughts by Ana Perrotta!
I can relate to your comments too- ho-hum – if only I could be a beauty editor/blogger….and a working mom. There’s so many things to choose as a women these days.
In other news….Snooki DOES look good without makeup, although I’m not convinced she is totally bare faced. I see a bit of eye shadow and gloss. But, what a lovely improvement! Nicole Kidman is not a bad comparison I think. She just needs to easy up on the botox and lip injections. Those lips make me uncomfortable.

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Jenna
Sunday, January 22/2012 at 6:03 pm

How unreal is that Snooki pic? Its amazing thats what she actually looks like. Reminds me of when you posted that non-made-up photo of Kim K, who also looks much better without the goop and 5000 falsies.

I actually like Zooey’s look, I really like the whole kooky fashion she wears, and I love her signature makeup and hair (though the 60s ‘do from the Globes was equally awesome).

My celebrity double? I had lots of people say Katie Holmes during highschool at the height of the Dawsons Creek obsession. Became less enamoured with that comparison as the whole Tom Cruise thing developed, but the girl does look gorgeous, so I guess I’ll cope!

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Jenna
Sunday, January 22/2012 at 6:08 pm

Oh and Michelle? I’m missing your weekly videos! It was so nice having you talk to me from across the Pacific on a Saturday!

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camilla
Sunday, January 22/2012 at 9:22 pm

Nicole kidman is a beautiful woman, when she was younger she was obscenely beautiful ( try watching practical magic). When some one points out a likeness between two people they are usually implying the more positive characteristics.
I used to like reading your blog… but it seriously is just the most shallow boring thing and i realise i was coming to it for the same reasons women buy magazines. Shallow entertainment and the hope of finding some tip that will make me feel better about myself. But you can’t follow the readings of some one so insecure about themselves physically to feel better about yourself. You can follow as many trends in makeup as you like, and try to find your ” life cut” but in the end.. you will always be and probably look like the same person.

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Amanda
Monday, January 23/2012 at 7:34 am

Hi,
Blink make an eyebrow pencil called cinnamon. It is a good auburn colour too.
A

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Rebekah
Monday, January 23/2012 at 8:07 pm

So true about celebrity look alikes! I get Julia Stiles quite often actually – and I don’t really know how I feel about that. I keep picturing her in the ’90s in 10 Things I Hate About You and cringe. But I guess she does look better now. I’ve also gotten Lauren Conrad – which is fine.

p.s. OMG AT SNOOKI. So pretty. So can’t tell that’s her. I hope she learns to embrace her natural beaut – she’s got it.

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alyssa
Wednesday, January 25/2012 at 11:55 pm

love that you gave props to cat.. i love to read her stuff. but i do like reading beauty writers who stay a little more.. er.. on track, as well. which is why i enjoy your blog so much!

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Amara
Monday, January 30/2012 at 11:24 pm

I get Lindsay Lohan all the time! I can’t always tell if it’s a compliment or an insult..

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Rai
Saturday, April 21/2012 at 12:14 pm

I always get Leighton Meester, which I take as a huge compliment! I mean she is gorgeous!

P.S. Love your blog:)

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