Beauty and the Beast Do women hate other women for being beautiful? Let’s talk about The Pretty Penalty—and if it really exists

beautiful woman Do women hate other women for being beautiful? Lets talk about The Pretty Penalty—and if it really exists

So a classic Daily Mail piece ran the other day—and I’m still not sure whether it’s legit or if we all got punk’d.

The writer, one 41-year-old Samantha Brick, insists that her “pleasing appearance” has been a mixed blessing. Sure, random male strangers send bottles of champagne to her table in restaurants; present bouquets of flowers; pay her cab fare and buy her train tickets. But when it comes to other women, apparently it’s Mean Girls 2.0. She says they refuse to be photographed with her; shut her out in fear that she’ll have an affair with their husbands; pass her over for promotions at work; and just generally act like jealous beeyotches.

Yikes! So much to discuss. Could there be truth to what she’s saying… or are people that complain about how pretty they are just self-deluded narcissists? You decide. Here’s a photo of Ms. Brick:

Samantha Brick Do women hate other women for being beautiful? Lets talk about The Pretty Penalty—and if it really exists

Okay, so *I* think she’s a decent-looking woman. I’m even going to go out on a limb and and say she looks quite pretty in the pic below:

Samantha Brick 2 Do women hate other women for being beautiful? Lets talk about The Pretty Penalty—and if it really exists

But there are oh, at last count over 5,000 commenters at the Daily Mail who mostly think she’s delusional and not pretty at all. Ouch! I think it’s photos like this that are giving people pause:

Samantha Brick 3 Do women hate other women for being beautiful? Lets talk about The Pretty Penalty—and if it really exists

And this one:

Samantha Brick 4 Do women hate other women for being beautiful? Lets talk about The Pretty Penalty—and if it really exists

It’s all a bit mean, and I’m not entirely convinced the Daily Mail editors didn’t deliberately take unflattering photos just to stir the pot. But HECK—how can I say this?—if Ms. Brick is getting stopped in the street all the time, then maybe we all should move to London? (Sorry, no offense to the British—loveyouguys!)

Anyway, let’s talk about this. Because I have a lot to say about it, as per usual.

A key reason why this chick may have men falling at her feet

So despite pursuing beauty as my “life’s work” (HAR), I’ll be the first to say that mastering the art of foundation application or a great blow-dry doesn’t a beautiful person make. Of course it helps, but it’s not really enough.

OMG, I can’t believe I’m saying this now, since I totally dissed this word just the other week… but it’s kind of an energy thing.

Let’s just assume for a moment that Samantha Brick is indeed telling the truth here. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that she gets all this attention from men not just because of her physical appearance (even SHE says she’s no Elle Macpherson), but because she smiles a lot, looks them in the eye, and is genuinely happy, open, friendly and easy to be with.

Whether she is ONLY these things to the opposite sex is up for debate. (Because that does tend to ruffle other women’s feathers. See: any season of The Bachelor. Oh, hi Courtney!)

Courtney Robertson Do women hate other women for being beautiful? Lets talk about The Pretty Penalty—and if it really exists

Anyway, what’s going on with our British friend is all speculation—but for our lives across the pond here, I think the fact that your disposition and attitude can do far more for you than, say, a new lipstick, is worth some consideration. So, smile! Flirt! Be happy! Just be gender equal about it.

Also?

Nobody wants to hear pretty people complain about being pretty

Because it spawns the urge to play the world’s smallest violin.

I mean, if you truly ARE a knockout, then you just come across as a phony, or at the very least someone who doesn’t have real problems. I don’t want to pick too much on my friend V., who has stupidly perfect skin among other genetic blessings, but the other day she pointed to her chin (I’m still not sure of the exact location) and told me the story of how some “crater-sized” pore had finally been unblocked by her Dermalogica facialist. UM, OKAY. I had to tell her to stop talking, because we don’t even speak the same language when it comes to skin problems. (Hello, rosacea?)

On the other hand, if you’re bitching that everyone hates you because you’re beautiful, except you’re kinda sorta not really (or, in Ms. Brick’s case, can we say just “moderately” attractive?), then yes, you WILL be labelled a narcissist. And nothing is more frustrating than dealing with a narcissist because literally any objection you raise to their world view has you automatically categorized as a jealous hater. It’s infuriating.

So yeah… either way, this entire topic is a lose-lose proposition. Best to just suck it up, take your beauty as your cross to bear and simply focus on other things.

Oh, and don’t go too far in the opposite direction either—while nobody likes smugness, there’s no need to brush off compliments (no matter what you look like!). You know how it is: someone tells you you’ve got great eyelashes, and you tell them it’s because you’re using some old mascara you found in the $0.99 bin at Loblaws. It sort of ruins it a bit, no? And makes the compliment-giver feel weird, too. So OWN IT, GIRL. WERK IT. The next time someone praises the pretty, just say “thank you!” and smile.

Is there such thing as a “Pretty Penalty?”

backstage models Do women hate other women for being beautiful? Lets talk about The Pretty Penalty—and if it really exists

It’s easy to think that life is better for beautiful people. And it IS—in some areas. Scientists have actually studied this, and beautiful people are more likely to be happier, earn more money, get a bank loan with a lower interest rate and marry a good-looking and highly educated spouse. (Gosh, now I feel totally validated for helping people move a few notches up on the pretty scale via hair and makeup. Maybe I really AM saving lives? Just kidding.)

But funnily enough, The Economist had an interesting article just the other day on how physical attractiveness can work against you. The researchers wanted to find out what happened when job hunters included photos with their applications. If you were a hot man, you got more call-backs for interviews… but if you were a hot woman, it was the exact opposite. The conclusion was that, with human resources departments comprised of 93 percent females, “old-fashioned jealousy led the women to discriminate against pretty candidates.”

Wow! Now THAT’s ugly.

Another pretty person problem has to do with meeting members of the opposite sex. Now, like I said, I’m almost certain that the Daily Mail lady gets male attention because of the vibe she gives off; objectively speaking, she’s not supermodel-gorgeous. But REAL supermodels? Well, they really do have challenges. My colourist has worked with a lot of models, including a very famous one whose name I’m SURE you’d recognize, and the last time I was in he told me she actually used to hit on him, saying that she couldn’t meet a good man. Which is sort of crazy because he’s probably twice her age and she should be batting men off like flies. But nobody asks her out! Men find her way too intimidating! So believe it or not, a lot of supermodels are also super-lonely. (Maybe Ms. Brick can give them some tips?)

Anyway, let’s discuss:

What’s your take on Samantha Brick—are her complaints legit or is she totally deluded?
Have you ever been jealous of someone’s beauty, or on the flip side, experienced The Pretty Penalty yourself?
Do you think it’s harder or easier to go through life being considered “beautiful”?

248 Comments

Laura
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 10:36 am

I don’t think the issue here is so much inherent physical attractiveness so much as it’s how much effort you put into your appearance. I would have no trouble hanging out with a really beautiful girl who had gone through the same effort in terms of hair and makeup as I had – like, if we were both in class with air-dried hair, sweats, and no makeup; or if we were both at a bar with the same level of eye makeup and a similar quality blow-out. But I get uncomfortable around people who put more effort into their appearance than I do, because it’s almost like I thought I was aware of what level of “done up-ness” the situation called for, but then the other person cheated or something? If that makes sense. Ms. Brick maybe isn’t that naturally beautiful, but maybe the women she hangs out with don’t dye their hair, don’t get manicures, and don’t tie their scarves in an awkward fussy way around their neck…. I think this is particularly tricky in professional situations. For one of my first job interviews, I was like, okay, I’m going to look really “professional” and get my hair nicely blown out (it was a bob at the time) and get a nice neutral manicure, and put on some neutral eye shadow just to look polished. But the women I interviewed with were like, complete trolls (…sorry), and I could just feel that I was making them really uncomfortable. I’ve had much better luck since in professional situations when I haven’t put so much effort into my appearance.

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MeghanT
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 11:10 am

Good point! I remember being dragged out to a bar one night against my will. I had showed up to socialize with friends wearing no makeup, looking casual. We were just bumming around someone’s house and there was no need to get all dressed up. Someone decided it would be a good idea to go out to a club and everyone told me not to worry, that it didn’t matter if I wasn’t dressed up or wearing makeup. I will NEVER listen to someone who says that again. I was surrounded by ladies in clubbing gear with expertly applied makeup while I was there in jeans and a t-shirt. Everyone looked amazing and glamorous and I felt dull and invisible. It was painful – never again!

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j Annie d
Thursday, July 31/2014 at 12:18 pm

I sure hope you don’t have these gal pals anymore. !!!!! Same thing in my 20′s and my 30′s extra caution 40′s doberman senses. They will start preying on your keen senses in your 40′s and more and more. Stay cautious!!!!! Not on eggshells just use EXTREME JUDGEMENT when choosing these so called “friends” they will harm you emotionally any chance you get!!!! Bee careful of the men too they can be catty bastards too!!!!!

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Jhalisa
Wednesday, August 29/2012 at 1:27 pm

This makes a lot of sense. Never thought of it this way before.

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 1:11 am

Your comment about dressing down, which I call it DUMBING DOWN, your looks and intelligence to just move about the earth is True!…For me, I have gone out of my way to just do the basic. Dont wear make io.its itchy anyway.but, wearing my hair in a ballerina bun, and a blazer and basic shirt and shoes , and then hoping they focus on my resume; which did impress the woman reguested a sit down , As she stated, I seemed prefect based on my OVER QUALIFIED RESUME. Day of interview…I became a lab rat.she kept studing me. She gave me the job anyway, but as a trail…while working she became odd ever time i appeared. Keeping cheerful and pleasant didnt help, and forget doing the job on point, And AMAZING FEEDBACK FROM CLIENTS, but her weird husband started chatting me and othrrs up too much ( had my hand behind my back and he lapped it! SUPER WEIRD), just made it worst…she made all kinda of excuses to why she could find my days to work! What? She Started yelled at people who spoke to me. I even found her watching me in corners. Befriened a cool male manager, told him – DONT EXPECT ME BACK, SHE’S LOOKING FOR ANY REASON TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I’M NOT A RIGHT FIT. In the end, she told me the company couldn’t afford to keep me on pay role. I lasted about 2 weeks ( in total weeks.)

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 1:16 am

Sorry. Typing on my tablet. I hooe you get the point.

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Jane
Sunday, December 22/2013 at 3:29 pm

I have had awful things over the years happen to me for being very g ood looking, green-eyed, tall etc. I recall one boss I had who was of course older by 12 years or so as in my day the boss was always older and wiser. One day she came out, she was upset about something. I had a nice white top on and she came over and said Whoops and marked my top with her red pen. I also find at least in canada some of the minority women to be insanely jealous of attractive white women. I have had different things happen over the years. Its not a healthy culture to always be worried that someone is prettier, smarter, skinnier, richer, etc than you are. You will make yourself miserable

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Yasmeena
Sunday, June 8/2014 at 4:24 pm

Gee, I have found the exact opposite to be true- white women insanely jealous of mixed race women– especially if those mixed women have more and longer hair and dare to be better looking. And, DO NOT be better educated or wealthier. White women will sniff them out and try to DESTROY them.

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Emily @ PartyMixTape
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 11:01 am

I loved this post – it’s a huge pet peeve of mine when women complain about “being too pretty” or about “other woman being jealous of them”. In 2009, Jessica Biel complained to Allure Magazine that her beauty was an obstacle to her getting quality roles. GAG. Say that to Jennifer Aniston or Hally Berry. I’ve noticed that the most “popular” girls are often (as you said) the ones with sparkly smiles, confidence, and spunky personalities… And most importantly, the truly beautiful people are so often unaware of the beauty they emanate… WAIT… did a boys band just write a song about that…. : )

Happy Wednesday,
Emily
http://partymixtape.blogspot.ca/

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 1:40 am

That is some what true. But what Biel was ( i believe)speaking of is based on her own experiences. Cut the girl some break. Some people are tomboys all their child hood and teen years, like I think this girl was. I understand. I was called bear my whole teen age years. Came from a family with hair down our backs. I thought is was a curse.too much to comb as a tomboy),but then – BOOM! She’s a knock out.this girl probably grew into it.she’s as baffled as the next person. Not use to having guys and women look at you like a zoo animal from mars. And whem you are befriends it like they pick at you to get the details and then they attack…now , she’s not going to shy from it or box it up in a smile , but own it in a cheeky way, she deals with it better than most. please note : only mental cases tell the world BY THEIR OWN ADMISSION ” DONT HATE ME CAUSE I’M BEAUTIFUL”. YES, SHE GETS A HEAVY DOSE OF COMPLIMENTS and may be too naive to understand not to HOMER SIMPSOM your inner voice. She means well; really, worry and take note of the ones like Kim kaveman (surgey nut) and qwyneth Pisshead. That tell media that they are when they are clearly not! People should offer you the comps, not you about yourself. She just explaining her perspective about working in Hollywood.

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Maria
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 7:21 pm

I don’t think that Biel is stunning, why do people see celebrities as the most hot or beautiful. I have seen people that are stunning and they are not celebrities, but nobody cares because they are not rich or on TV. Being on TV or a model does not make someone automatically attractive. Like I said before I find non famous women more attractive. I don’t find women that look artificial attractive. Nikki Minaj is not attractive to me, she looks like a tranny with bad plastic surgery too fake for me. I don’t know why would anyone in there right state of mind would want to look extremely plastic, scary.

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Jane
Sunday, December 22/2013 at 4:39 pm

I personally think most of hollywood’s women are trash. They are not the REAL women out there in the REAL world of survival. Its the woman whose been through hell and back and survived that deserves a gold star in my opinion….

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Maria
Wednesday, July 10/2013 at 8:35 pm

Do you believe every man and women on this planet will be attracted at your look? Being beautiful is not just one specific look. For example, I am not attracted to tall, white, fake boobs, bottle blond, even though the world is brainwashed to think that is the hottest look. I am not attracted to extremely thin women, I like curves and medium or short women, between size 8-14 American sizes.

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pretty crazy
Thursday, July 11/2013 at 3:29 am

Like I have written! MARIA, you are hooked on the media. You are the only person who has spent countless written words focusing on the media and the people in it. Your cue for beauty notes is the media! Most of or all of media people ( if there long enough) will get something done to look stunning and hot to stay on top.

I look for natural beauties! When you see them you can’t tear your eyes away from their beauty.

In later comments,I wrote this one comment to you, dear, I realize you feel the media is unfair to all diversity of people….so, you don’t see representation of yourself, OR NOT ENOUGH! ..and those that are, are under devalued! Yes! But, people that are here are speaking of is SOMEONE WHO HAS THAT “IT” THING NO MATTER WHAT RACE, COLOR , CULTURE, OR SEX AND EVEN AGE or even SIZE! No one is commenting on what you’ve mentioned as media beauty? No! We are talking about being treated badly because you are just that A beauty, that you feel and see, and other see it too! So own it than maria…but don’t spend time telling others they aren’t and complaining because you feel the need to point out something you may not quite understand, just based on your consist referencing to the media , as your focal point to the subject.

Really! Note this: the one thing you are complaining about and claiming others are using as reference to beauty- YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE COMPLETELY USING THE MEDIA AS A POINT OF BEAUTY REFERENCES. get away from that! Its a small window to world.

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Jane
Sunday, December 22/2013 at 4:40 pm

My dad always said its women who like women very thin, men like the curvy women with some extra weight!

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Yasmeena
Sunday, June 8/2014 at 4:42 pm

Why does it bother you so? Does it bother you equally if an unattractive woman complains that everyone hates her because she is brilliant but ugly? It is true, however, that beautiful women are expected to never EVER speak of their great fortune and gorgeous looks. Beautiful women are expected to be magnanimous, and to hid their light under a bushel so that plainer women can feel good about themselves. Beautiful women must be super nice, super friendly and deferential to their less endowed sisters– ALL OF THE TIME. Of not, they are often labeled standoffish bitches. Pure, physical beauty is what we are speaking of– it does not “emanate” from the inside. It is there, on the SURFACE. It is scientifically measurable, tangible and in your face obvious. It cannot be faked. Anyway, a person with true inner beauty is even more rare than one with supreme physical beauty.

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MeghanT
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 11:03 am

I hate to burst someone’s self esteem bubble, but I agree with you about the lady in question. I would describe her as nicely put together, but average in the looks department. Confidence and personality are a HUGE factor when it comes to attractiveness. I have know very average looking ladies, and some not pretty at all, who had men falling all over them. It happens so frequently that it caused me to reevaluate the real importance of beauty. These ladies had a certain something that was almost magnetic and just drew all kinds of people in. That is something all women should be coveting because it really does attract the opposite sex in droves AND it doesn’t age, while people’s outsides certainly can.

Nothing is more off putting than a shallow, uninteresting, disengaged attractive person – these qualities dull their splendor and most men loose interest after the first few interactions (at lease from what I have observed). I am sure that they’d try really hard to overlook initial negative qualities if the person was a super model, but I can’t image a lasting interactions would be fun or possible with someone who’s inner self was ugly. Maybe the uber attractive who are complaining just aren’t very nice people?

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 2:28 am

I understand your point, but have to say, growing up being taught to be polite and pleasant ,and considerate of others is a necessary character… but know this YOU CAN BE ALL THOSE THINGS AND UBER ATTRACTIVE AND MOST PEOPLE WILL STILL FIND A REASON TO HURT AND USE YOU AND MAKE you Feel less so they can feel better around you. Put in time they will continue and get worse and have others join.like punishing you for what your genes blessed you with.

Its the haves and the have nots theory. I’ve learned over the years the nasty and cruelest people of the world hate those that seem to have it all. I do respect those that work at makint their own success.but let it be a women.all hell breaks loose.its the people who feel cheated by something that are crulest, and those that are born with that ” it”factor are being taught to behave accordingly by their parents. Well 70%. The other 30% are teaching their kids to feel and breathe entitlement.Thats something different all together – heightened insecurity…i know that sound untrue and odd, but talk to a few hot people.i mean really hot.you’ll hear some pretty whacky stories of nerds and geeks and sweet kids that did sweet things.people want to hold on to the thing people value the most. They feel some control , some power to be…but look past what they seem like now.movies and shows would rather you believe that they are mean , and unhappy souls.so giving the impression they are cruel because they look and seem better.people categorize people to have a place.5o fit in some where.i’m this , so i am that. And them you spend the time openly being brain washed into thinking like your visual outside group, but secretly wanting the other side, what ever that may be.Just be you! Real men and women respect true selves…yes! Of course the pretty and cool table is more inviting , it means you are too.but its that genuine quality that won the people and who even picked on you were super jealous of your talent that they hadden found within themselves yet, and all the attention YOU GOT….and why would you want to hear about them deing perfect kids too..stop hating on good people.really, what did they do to you?…WHY YOU? NOT ME! Has to stop!There a study on how do you- know someone is too pretty? Even babies and children seem to pick out the most pleasing looks and character in a person even if they have never been told what is the difference, but it also come down to how you display you charcter inner and outter To the worlds audience.

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Yasmeena
Tuesday, June 10/2014 at 12:17 am

Beautifully said, pretty crazy. ITA.

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MeghanT
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 11:06 am

(Just read over what I wrote – sorry for the typos and spelling errors! Arg! Wish there was an edit option. )

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 2:33 am

Right three with you.. my tablet screen it a thumb nail. And jumps around.totally understand.

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Emily
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 11:07 am

I loved this post – it’s a huge pet peeve of mine when women complain about “being too pretty” or about “other woman being jealous of them”. In 2009, Jessica Biel complained to Allure Magazine that her beauty was an obstacle to her getting quality roles. GAG. Say that to Jennifer Aniston or Hally Berry. I’ve noticed that the most “popular” girls are often (as you said) the ones with sparkly smiles, confidence, and spunky personalities… And most importantly, the truly beautiful people are so often unaware of the beauty they emanate… WAIT… did a boys band just write a song about that…. : )
http://partymixtape.blogspot.ca/

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ana p
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 11:39 am

You’re a great writer Michelle! Thouroughly enjoyed this article.

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Denise
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 12:05 pm

Wow! Great Topic! I totally believe in the pretty penalty. Growing up back in the Bronx it was called “mad cuz they ugly”. When an attractive girl felt someone was not being nice or spreading false rumours, or excluded UNFAIRLY(as in not deserved) we’d say said girl was “just mad she’s ugly”. I’m kind of ashamed to admit it now but it’s true. I read an article that cited a study that claimed women will actually encourage other women to diminish what is deemed attractive to men in that society. Study claimed men prefer long hair women will encourage other women to cut theirs off, to eat the cupcake instead of the fruit etc. That our brain feels pleasure when attractive women say wear bad makeup or gain weight. That it’s genetics, we can’t help it, it’s all to be considered more attractive to procreate. Crazy right?
As far as Ms Brick, I believe she’s telling the truth. As beauty knowledgeable females we all see an moderately attractive women. But we are reading blogs, studying celebs, etc. In short we’re scrutinizing much more than the average man. And there’s what Michele and others’ have called Girl beauty vs Guy beauty. And she’s got guy beauty. You know blonde hair, not fat, pretty makup and heels. That’s about all they need. And also you know and not trying to be mean hear but she’s talking about AVERAGE guys here you know. As in average looks. So apples to apples she’s hot. Also I’m pretty certain like Michele stated, her personality(energy) has a lot to do with it. I’d bet she’s open, friendly and smiles a lot. We all know a smile to a lot of men = interest( I can’t be the only one who’s regretted smiling after it being misread and leading to unwanted attention).
Also Michelle I so want to thank you for the compliment bit. I am guilty of doing that all the time. After being complimented I always try to deflate myself like, Oh I didn’t even do my hair today, oh these are so old and I got them at the thrift store. It’s really just I’m a little embarassed but I’ve never thought it makes the complimentor uncomfortable. They probably wish they never said a thing. No more of that, from now on just a big genuine Thank You! with a big genuine :) from me…:

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Denise
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 2:21 pm

Oops I meant when an attractive girl was treated unfairly, the unattractive girls were mad

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 4:10 am

I had to read over that part of your comment twice, but I got your point. GREAT COMMENT BY THE WAY. FROM START TO FINISH.

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Tanushka
Thursday, April 5/2012 at 11:42 am

Great point on Guy and Girl beauty! I think that’s exactly what’s going on in Ms. Brick’s case, she is set to please a man’s eye. Man repelling is certainly a trend she will never follow:)

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Denise
Thursday, April 5/2012 at 2:14 pm

thank you. always nice to know others agree.

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Amanda
Tuesday, August 21/2012 at 4:28 am

Denise,
I think your post is so spot-on! I was recently talking to a friend of mine about Tyra Banks. She was on the Opera Show years ago and I remember her saying that she went on a singles-cruise when she was younger and didn’t have a single conversation with a man. NOT ONE! How does THAT happen? Opera said, To a man, his chances for “success” are higher with a 5 or 6 (woman on a scale of 10) than with a 9 or 10. Therefore, more women considered to fall in that range are hit on, asked out etc. It goes hand in hand with your response about “guy beauty”.
And don’t feel badly about the whole “she mad cuz she ugly” thing, we all did that to make our friends feel better about something. :)

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Ingrid
Tuesday, September 11/2012 at 10:35 am

Well said! I can see the squinty-eyed look of hate on women’s faces when my gorgeous sister enters the room. Without question women automatically dislike slim, attractive women. I have to work extra hard to find acceptance amongst some women – not all women are so unhappy with themselves that they are mean to others for being genetically determined attractive. Twenty years ago a woman apologized to me for trying to make me feel bad about my body when we were in highschool because she was jealous. My sister had to change highschools because she was bullied for being beautiful. Franky, the author of this article sounds a bit jealous.

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Carolyn
Wednesday, November 21/2012 at 12:38 am

As a social media myself and from what I have studied in the media. There are two groups of stereotypes. From Magazines and women. Media just want attention of beautiful people and make other people feel like they are not good enough. I used to feel like I’m not good enough, and now that I’m beautiful; I don’t need to brag about my looks and my curvy body (Who cares about that). I’m pretty very easy on people and help them out. I just need media to stop hurting society. Did you know that media is from COMPUTER to make women to look more beautiful… But in real life they look a bit different. I agree that article is a little rough but no one is perfect as God has created a beautiful creatures and I believe he has a reason…

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 5:09 am

I realize, certain women want you to be a nasty And quite moronic- neanderthal when you are quite the beauty. Its easier to believe you are missing a few eggs in the batch…but,They will find a way to pick on you either way…its just easier to do it when they have something to play off of. So being a “10″, which isn’t realistic, it is a unicon legend…everyone has problems, issue and strange quirks. What we see as our challenge are a tool for us to learn about ourselves as Good or bad characters When needing to grow into loving ourselves – in order to value what we live with, Each other. We are all 10′s in our own way. We wish we had something some one else has ( or more of)…my best SISTER FROM ANOTHER MISTER has a sweet soul and believes there is good still to be had in everyone if the deem it, just think better and not of the worst within. And the rest will follow. Good lord, it sounds preachy! But if you met her you would understand.. so I hold her dear. She’s like a blessing of good hearted nature, and she feels she not a beauty (I BEG TO DIFFER). I tell her , if I was into women, she would be my honey bee.ha!

She’s the perfect woman, that doesn’t get the right respect. Because others have put her kindness down and she believed it for years…talked her out of that crap. She told me , no man has ever wanted to make her their girlfriend ( talented, SMART! fun, side splitting FUNNY, sweet, and pretty!…I didn’t get it.) ? She felt like the rebound girl…that has changed! I refuse to let her sink there. Brightest star! Love her! She listen to me as i tell her of all the beautiful jerks that come and go in my life, and i seek more substantial. I believe , everything happen for a reason. And we learn about ourselves from each other and what happens from it.

But she had let others words bring her down. I have know her for years(.high school, college friends)..anyway, family plays a big part in how we see ourselves…but ethinic women have it rough. If your own kind and others joining in to bring you down, when they know better , that is sad.

Like that article written by that disgusting Japanese man, for psychology today , referring to black women are the most least attractive of our species. What the hell!…I must say, if I understand races and , male and female of our kind,this guy at one point asked a black girl out and she read him the Black girl theme song if he wasn’t in her picture book of her type, but in that straight foward , and direct tone most people dont understand and read it as – way too bold! Its just character in a fun way. Bold and beautiful, as they use to say…anywho!

Women of color have to put up with a lot , and being picked on is not an option for ethnic females unless you are family. So, having bold bravato ;well, is an issue you are missing out on. You are reading them wrong, as the woman that was mention in this article. No one whay to compete with the shiney , unusual toy that your kind ( whomever may differ from them) as TABOO. Instead , to lessen the field of people exploring friendships and great unions. But have hate for other races….But men and women have to know who they are , within themselves before playing with ethnic people. Especailly , women. Ethnic women are taught to respect what was given from genetics, so dont come to them any old way…if you’ve come across an ethnic woman of any kind and see she wont play those hateful games. Its a waste of time, unless shes crazy!..beauty comes in all forms! Dont hate.

=) Good looking out

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 5:25 am

Sorry , I use the YOUR KIND! It was meant as what ever race or person that maybe curious. Nothing bias or racist. A clean comment. If you need to know. Sorry, again.

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Zennia
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 1:05 pm

My boyfriend feels awkward walking down the street with me because of my looks.
Though I’m highly educated and have quite a lot of experience in my field, I have been hired for numerous jobs based on my appearance alone.

AND I have the BEST girlfriends and female co-workers.

That woman is delusional.
She’s not attractive and no one who is attractive has hate like that.
People hate her because she’s probably not a nice person.

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Zennia
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 1:06 pm

Sorry, he feels awkward because of the stares I get.
I don’t notice them but he does and he gives back angry stares.

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elizabeth
Saturday, April 14/2012 at 8:28 pm

sounds like he has a problem. You may be beautiful, “and of course you don’t realize it”, but at least you have him. I also enjoy when I walk in with a man and he can charm the whole room, knowing he is with me. Maybe you should bask in his looks for a bit.

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 6:18 am

Here, here!

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 6:10 am

Model or in fashion or entertainment?

Hot people go for cool work environments . Its easy to live amongst others that understand. Sorry! But true…when you stand out people tend to bring others imto their hatred for you.that’s why people can relate to people who get them and fear mixing the bot…trust me that sound mean and hateful, But people have a hard time trying to understand others and being free to be open…I wish it would be more open in the thinking and less hatred…but, I learn that the hard way that people want to be wonderful all the time and you dont realize that people have issues when they feel you have a better hand..but let one of those people you mentioned loose their edge ..WATCH OUT! I learn that the hard was too. Its ok when everyone is on he same level. So dont change for the better or let them get worse…or you’ll see a new kind of stare. Trust me… your closest of friends will turn on you if they feel you out stand them. When you thought you were neck and neck or secretly you feel you may be on top, they maybe feeling they are doing better than you.just beware, people surprise you when you least expect it.

Either way, total been their with the weird stares. I noticed it when I stared dating a certain type of guy.which people will expect old and out of character men for certain females. They figure , beauty = golddigging , idiots. Sorry! I love character. And i admit dating what i thought were sweet guys turn out to be over arrogant jerks. But the hot guys can get too much play and every girl is offering up something to beat you there first. Hes a guy! And so certain media like to show Hot guys are meant for girls that fantasize about them, and they jump to that reality, so the media promotes that more ( it all money for .you bought into the thought)..and try to make you the villian when you end up with them anyway. Most hot men date what they heart follows. They want a great women believe, no matter who she is,Trust! If their passion is there they are going to end up together. But average guys cant seem to see that! They want what others claim is better. Dumba**es..so stop staring folk for the wrong reason. Pretty people feel and see you hate them, and yes, the sex is good, if you see their glow. it call happy..you can have it too if you dont stride to just hate.

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 6:17 am

Sorry again. But I hope youcan read over the fragmented sentences.=)

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MalenaQuerida
Thursday, August 15/2013 at 3:48 pm

“Trust me… your closest of friends will turn on you if they feel you out stand them.”

This comment really stood out for me. Recently, I lost a close friend without any explanation from her. She stopped returning my calls or emails.

It turns out that her situation in life has changed and it is hard for her to see that mine “only gets better”. I work smart, not just hard, and make it better for my children. It’s hard to comprehend why a friend would have a problem with your happiness.

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Maggie
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 1:23 pm

Great post.
I have to admit, when I read the effects Ms. Brick has on men, I expected to see a Victoria’s Secret model and not such an ordinary woman. I first thought: yeah, you wish.
But then she said it’s all because she smiles a lot, looks them in the eye, and is genuinely happy, open, friendly and easy to be with. If this is really true then my faith in the male gender is restored. I really want to believe that ‘in your face-beauty’ is not what’s most important for men.
I do think it’s harder to go through life when you’re “beautiful” – men tend to be intimidated by beauty. And women are jealous. Unfortunately that’s just the way it is.
There is actually one girl’s beauty I’m envious of. Google pics of ‘Megan Fox, Juno premiere, 2007′. Seriously, she’s breathtaking. Sadly she’s not half as pretty now as she was back then, thanks to plastic surgery.
As for me I’m happy with the way I look, I feel comfortable. (I’m talking about my face, not my body but that’s a different story) And I’m glad to say, part of it is because this blog told me so and how.

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 6:47 am

You can be all those things and goregous ,and still have an interest for a hot second and he move on..they can be intimidated by you. No matter who they are. I dated and befriended wealthy men because I thought they were clever and interesting. Mostly NOT! They believe in their own hype…but,The real Mc coy won’t make issues of who or what makes you, you!

I LOVE YOUR COMMENT!
With that attitude….your hot pick is gunning for you.good luck, beauty!

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Sunni
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 1:52 pm

I definitely think that Ms. Brick’s winning personality holds sway for many men and makes women jealous. Given that, I really don’t think she’s bad looking either. Yeah, you’re right, she’s not the most gorgeous female ever, but given that she looks rather tallish, she’s blond and she wears a nice dress and batts a mascara-ed eyelash, I’m quite sure she’s actually quite a catch.
I think that women who are pretty do actually get the green eye from other women quite a bit. But combine that with brains and a good dose of plain old nice-ness, a fairly good body and genuine happiness and you’ve got a girl that most women I think, would kill to be. I’ve felt it myself to be honest. I don’t get jealous so much over a pretty face per se, but with all the other elements that make up a great woman, yeah, I feel a little intimidated.
Awesome discussion!

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 7:01 am

You are right about women killing to be others, but truth, it depends on what type of women. I have had too many strange encounters with weird women who rather push the competition ( as they see it) off a roof than give her the satisfaction that they are remotely jealous of you….I dumped an evil and twisted Pretty gal friend because her sweetly smiles, but her negative energy for me and the language and eventually her actions spoke volumes in the worst way , which hit me to the core when around her at times. She was getting creepy the more she got to know me. Good hearted people are rare these days.

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Stacey
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 2:03 pm

Kim K is the prefect example to use here I feel. She has guys falling all over her, but they dont seem to stay. This is what happens when your whole life is about how you look, and not about having any substance. She probably, like all her “fans”, thinks anyone who doesnt like her is “jealous”, when in reality she is most likely a self centered narcissist who only cares about appearances, which is not something most people look for in friends. Im guessing Ms. Brick is the exact opposite. While she is average looking, she probably has a great personality that people are attracted to in general. Some girls who are insecure with themselves probably resent her because of this. I dont think there is necessarily a pretty penalty, but I do think some pretty girls lack personality, thus thinking people are jealous and blah blah blah. Looks fade but personality is FOR -EVAH!

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Jenna
Friday, April 6/2012 at 10:54 pm

Great example with Kim K. I think Reese Witherspoon is her polar opposite – not necessarily a stunner, but always dresses well, has feature-enhancing makeup and hair, is very smiley and has lovely southern manners. She feels authentic, and therefore is gorgeous in ways the Kardaahians couldn’t dream of.

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 7:17 am

That changed for Resse. She’s full of her self. She has showed true color than worst than most. I always thought she was a bit on the high brow about herself side.

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Stacey
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 2:12 pm

Maggie, I thought that too about Ms. Fox. Its sad how seriously beautiful women ruin themselves with plastic surgery, again, Kim K. i think she looked really beautiful before her nose job, botox, cheeks, and everything else got ruined.

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Maggie
Thursday, April 5/2012 at 6:36 am

Yes, what is it with plastic surgeries and celebrities these days? I mean, isn’t it supposed to improve your looks? I feel like 90% look worse than before.

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 7:21 am

Because they feel they need to keep up with the times. Instead they look worst as they get older and dont know when to stop and just take better care of themselves.

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Jane
Sunday, December 22/2013 at 4:53 pm

Those marriages never last. The other point is the woman almost always makes alot more than her man and that is a huge turnoff for men.

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Cassandra
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 6:00 pm

I don’t know, but I do know I’ve worked in two offices where women who never wore makeup or dressed nicely started wearing makeup after I have — and the one even said I ‘inspired her to look better.’ I even overheard her asking another girl “why do guys like her so much? Is it because she wears makeup?’ I felt like total crap. She started getting all decked out. It made me feel uncomfortable. I’m not very pretty, but I do put effort into my appearance, mostly because I have skin issues, so I need to wear makeup and I like to dress nicely. So, yeah, there’s something to it.

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 7:44 am

Girl, please! ROCK IT OUT! You have it! And they don’t! Period! Men love pretty things and its you?you challenge them. That’s the womens problem? Dont feel like crap… I worked with a weird girl that dressed like little orphan annie meets a troll doll, until I started working..this witch spent her days watching me and turning anyone against me. It got worst whem the owner paid more attention to me than she wanted.

Walking by me making snide remarks.and then potshots about herself as it referred to me. Some women are too mental. Not your fault they look like inmates from prison..what do they think men really want? Or do they feel , if they wear them down they guys will be ok with them looking like dudes and still

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 7:46 am

Date them….where do you live!?

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 7:51 am

Ugh! My tablet, plus the submit button is too close to the curser arrow

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Mia
Wednesday, April 4/2012 at 9:30 pm

I think some of the reaction is just people taking the bait. Ms. Brick’s previously notable “articles” for the Daily Fail include one about how she lets her husband pick her entire wardrobe. She’s a provocateur and she got what she wanted – the most enormous spike in page views that “publication” has ever seen.
Lets be honest – she’s a pleasant but average looking woman who gives off the vibe of being totally up herself. I’ll give her credit for being clever enough to come up with the idea for this latest piece of self-promotion because it’s definitely ensured she’ll get more work from the DM.

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tanveer
Thursday, April 5/2012 at 12:08 am

OMG! I loved this article… I always used to wonder why some girls who are average looking (IMHO) got so much attention from men, whereas far prettier girls used to sit by the sidelines getting all sorts of inferiority complexes because hardly any men would approach them.

And that bit on how to receive compliments, I totally need to start doing that. I always feel so weird and embarrassed. Trying to learn how to say Thank you, and move on, but sometimes I just end up being lil apologetic, you know, like I need to explain to the other person why I’m looking / being like that.

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Pr
Thursday, April 5/2012 at 1:31 am

Women are going to judge each other no matter what, its in our nature. But I’ve gone to a club before with barely any makeup and barely dressed up and I just danced, drank and enjoyed myself. Whether I’m being noticed or not doesnt matter. Sadly in todays society we pay too much attention to looking good, or “hot”. I think people especially women need to be comfortable in their own skin, whether others judge you or not. As per the pretty penalty I agree guys get intimidated if they think your out of their league, which is absurd. People shouldn’t feel inferior to someone because they think the other person looks better. I see girls who try to hard to be hot and just end up looking trashy. I totally agree with you Michelle that your vibe, energy, or aura whatever you want to call it, is so important. Makeup, clothes, hair etc. are all secondary.
On another note: I’ve seen pretty people with bad teeth or yellow teeth or poor hygiene, I’d say hygiene comes over beauty anyday. No one wants to see yellow teeth or smell bad breath, and topping your lips with an expensive lipgloss or lipstick wont help one bit.

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Yasmeena
Tuesday, June 10/2014 at 10:29 am

So…what’s your point? Your comparison only make sense if you are comparing attractive and unattractive people who share the same lack of hygiene.

It is grossly unfair, but the sad truth is that physical beauty trumps just about everything else, and an otherwise PHYSICALLY beautiful person with bad teeth and bad breath still trumps an unattractive person with bad teeth and bad breath.

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Zee Bee
Thursday, April 5/2012 at 3:23 am

Great read ! While on one hand studies show beautiful people have better jobs/opportunities , it may not be all that great for them either. Men seem to covet beautiful women but average men will probably take home an average but pleasant looking woman ,probably someone easy to be with. I hate to admit women will totally give wrong advice or keep quiet and say you are looking great when you are not. I totally believe that bit about HR sabotaging chances for prettier women. I suspect pretty women being bimbettes is totally validated and put into men’s minds by average looking women. I am from India and am saying this from my perspective….I have been at the receiving end of all the women outside my family , relatives and coworkers telling me to tone down my smiling, being open and talkative and of course makeup which was minimal anyway !

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elizabeth
Saturday, April 14/2012 at 8:37 pm

That’s because you are from India, your family has those beliefs. It’s nice to just be who you are and be nice to everyone. I just can’t say anymore. I worried what was the matter with me as a younger person, but then I realized once you are comfortable with who you are, who cares WHAT anyone else thinks.

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Nikki
Thursday, August 30/2012 at 12:51 am

I think I am totally guilty of the HR discrimination thing too, even though i am one of those people who takes a lot of pride in their appearance and, quite frankly, spends a little too much time on it.

I had an 18-19 y/o knock-out, all-american blonde girl come into my store looking for a job application. Like, seriously, she was the second coming of Jessica Simpson in her “Newlywed”/Daisy Duke days, but maybe even better looking. After the initial 2-3 seconds of being stunned by her appearance, I was already thinking of excuses not to hire her.

I feel a little guilty for my bias. but objectively I know she wouldn’t be a good fit regardless of her looks. We can only hire one associate and we DESPERATELY need a stock person. Only a young guy who can lift a 50 lb box over his head will do.

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Maria
Monday, November 18/2013 at 8:10 pm

white people are not “all-american” the real americans have dark hair and eyes and red skin, called native americans. I hate when people” use all american” to describe white people.

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 6:14 pm

I was told the Same thing by my mom.as I mentioned in another comment, my mom called it DUMBING IT DOWN.

Really, it makes others feel ok around you , but they know better… they get your attitude and your personal persona , and realize you’re playing it safe.really, they dislike that more. Your still great without much to nothing, and they know it. Own your hot! Just dont be a meanie!

If your surrounding of peeps try to keep the outting with you at a minimal – to harnest you getting dressed up really nice – just to keep you from showing them up then consider getting a new group of supportive women. I did!… but make sure they are not trying to compete with you. You just want good friends, not a fight for everything.
Outting with your other peeps is
Because They know you’ll be the focus.

And i agree with you comment regarding men picking easier women to take home..pretty women need to date European men.you ever notice their women They are fantastic…american men , mainly, seem to brainwash themselves into thinking the worst of people they cant win over so easily. So they stop trying. That’s why I wish they would stop making romantic movies of men going out of their way for the girl of their dreams… trust! I know it just- movie magic, men take their strange cues from somewhere.

European men, ladies. They love the pretty!

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Georgina
Thursday, April 5/2012 at 5:02 am

Before seeing her actual age, I saw her pictures first and I thought she was 50. I dont find her very attractive. She doesnt give off that sexy vibe. So I think she’s exaggerating.

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Izabella
Thursday, April 5/2012 at 2:35 pm

I would say she is average looking woman but she got Guy beauty type so that explains what she talks about though I think she is exaggerating a bit (or I DO need to move to Britain lol).
I do agree that there is such thing as beauty penalty, I experience it myself though I don’t consider myself supermodel beautiful. Even in work environment men are more friendly to me than women, and I feel it. The funny thing is that I don’t judge people based on their looks, and one of best friends is not within the standards of modern beauty but she got beautiful personality and kind heart and I adore her. I know she appreciates my personality too but our friendship seems strange to those who only see looks and are not able to see through it.

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 6:29 pm

Bravo! YOU MAYBE MY TWIN. I have had the same issues. Good for you.

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QuiteLight
Thursday, April 5/2012 at 3:01 pm

The Pretty Penalty exists. I’ve seen it in action, many, many times. I’ve seen it happen to my friends, where I can be relatively objective, and occasionally for myself, where I admit I can’t be. While there are absolutely narcissists who cry “jealous”, they really cloud the issue a lot, because I don’t think they are the majority.

It’s not really about straight-up looks. It’s about how attractive the other woman thinks you are, and how secure they are. Attractive includes physical looks, charm, style, social skills, money, and anything the other person is insecure about. It’s about whether that person thinks you are in direct competition with them, a direct threat (real or not) in some way. If you have something they don’t. (Or don’t think they do.) So exactly how pretty Ms. Brick is doesn’t matter; how charming & appealing she is overall does.

The best I can do is to try not to perpetuate this behaviour myself, or hide my own light. Speak up when you see this BS behaviour! All it does is pit women against each other, instead of focussing on each being great themselves!

Side note: guys do this too, but over more masculine attributes. Tall, good-looking, nice, smart guys have their own haters! And if they’re buff, look out!

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 6:48 pm

LOVED YOUR COMMENT! You are right. As long as I can remember I have been told to be kind and not make a fuss, instead…women get meaner and now men get weirder with me.they dont stop coming at you..too aggressive- men and women. I see beauty and tell beauty what they are.period! Not harass them.

But, speaking up.be careful.people try to turn it on you when they go Frankenstein crowd.but please, empower yourself.

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pretty crazy
Saturday, July 6/2013 at 6:59 pm

And about the hot guy getting shade from other men…is funny!

I was hanging with this hot statue, who was visiting from sweden for work…we went to a bar for a chat before dinner, and the bartender (MALE! AND STRAIGHT!) Fumble in his words after watching us for a few and intruding into our time together to tell him about a party he was throwing ( like the shy guy to the hot girl thing) , and wanted us to come….but , was funny was what the guy said next…”I dont normally say this to men……but you’ve got to be a perfect 10″ and we both laughed. I have never seen a guy so nervous about another straight guy. The guy kept on insisting he was straight! Too funny!

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Jane
Sunday, December 22/2013 at 4:59 pm

Kill them with kindness! It confused the heck out of them!!

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Laura
Friday, April 6/2012 at 9:40 am

I think this passage from the cut blog, quoting one of Brick’s previous articles, really says it all:

“And speaking of, here’s a fun selection of from her full oeuvre, again graded by its breathy hyperbole:

From “I use my sex appeal to get ahead at work … and so does ANY woman with any sense,” published August 25, 2011:

“The truth is, I’d much rather work for a man than a woman. I’ve always dressed with the express intention to please and gratify my male bosses in the workplace. If I had a choice of how to spend my ideal lunch hour, it’s a no-brainer. Each and every time I’d choose to flirt over lunch with a male superior rather than engage in mindless gossip with the girls over a sandwich.” “

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Evelyn
Friday, April 6/2012 at 5:55 pm

Just as I guessed – the reason she has men falling all over her is because she acts like a tramp!!!

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 1:56 am

Haha!

That comment she made was pretty scanky! Way to get WAAAAAAY AHEAD. Plus, what happens if the boss gets frisky? I rather not play with fire when working or otherwise with men’s emotions.

I pick lunch…i love to shop and I need my space.
I need my food. Shoot, low blood sugar.

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Mia
Friday, April 6/2012 at 8:30 pm

She wrote another piece about how she stopped dressing herself and lets her (very creepy-seeming) husband pick out what she wears too. So… yeah. Ick.

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AnonymousGirl
Friday, April 6/2012 at 7:53 pm

I’m pretty, but I was always kind, down-to-earth and a bit shy in school as well. I think my shyness made me seem a bit unapproachable, even though I had a very friendly, sincere and warm vibe with those around me.

I would often hear how many guys in school had a crush on me, but yet, few asked me out. I’ve had many guys admit they had wanted to ask me out but thought I was too pretty. However, I do get approached quite a bit when out, but strangers really have nothing to lose! Sometimes it seems I get approached more when less fixed up–I think I seem more approachable then.

In school, I made friends with the girls that were “genuine.” Some of the popular girls didn’t like me, because I drew attention from the popular guys. I was in the middle as far as being popular, but I was friends with anyone I liked, regardless of their popularity. It’s hard to find female friends that are true friends. I have a few very close, wonderful female friends to this day, and I’m very thankful for them. Oddly enough, they’re all beautiful.

I once had an acquaintance, whom I was genuinely happy to meet, admit after we became friends that she didn’t like me when she first met me because she thought I was too pretty. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and figured she just felt insecure. I thought she was quite pretty herself, but she said she had never been told she was pretty growing up. When she later developed a big crush on a guy who ended up liking me, she dumped me as a friend.

I know other pretty girls who have also had issues with “mean girls.” It’s especially bad in office settings it seems. Sometimes I think it’s the really sweet and somewhat shy pretty girls that get stepped on, but the pretty girls with really strong personalities (the popular girls) don’t get picked on because they’re more alpha, and so people want to be accepted by these types of girls.

Am I complaining about being pretty? No. But being pretty isn’t without challenges. We “all” have challenges in life though, and it’s not about how pretty you are that counts, it’s about how joyful, well-adjusted, thankful and at peace you feel with your life. You can be beautiful but not happy or unattractive but super happy. If I had to chose between the two, I’d choose to be happy. Pretty or not–life is what you make it–we must all be thankful for what we “do” have–and for most of us, that’s a lot.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 2:54 am

Beautiful written, worded, and well adjusted in your mindset! Your PERFECT! Loved your comment as well ,was also stellar!

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Lauren
Saturday, April 7/2012 at 11:52 am

You know what makes me hate her? Her attitude’ not her looks. That in my mind makes her an ugly person.

She is obviously an attention whore, writing a deliberately controversial piece to get people to talk about her. She is no different than the Kardashians.

She gets no sympathy from me.

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Caster
Monday, April 9/2012 at 4:05 pm

Being pretty is nice. I am in my thirties and when I was insecure and in my 20s women were very nice. As I became more sophisticated, acquired more “stuff” and confidence women became more hostile. I also find being an attractive brown women ca be tough at times because people can be intimidated by beautiful ethnic women. I used to tone it down for other women or hold in my light,but now I shine and attract other confident women of all types and I can smell jealousy a mile away by the scent of personal insecurity.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 3:08 am

Bravo! That’s it! No more allowing your light to be lessen to help those who would rather see you burn out! Shine!

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Tab
Wednesday, April 11/2012 at 10:22 am

I thinkn some writers are getting to caught up in the way that Samantha Brick looks. The question at hand is as follows: Do women hate other women just because of their looks? The honest answer is yes. I’ve always said that women are catty. Everyone has either seen or participated in shooting venom at an attractive woman that enters the room. During job interviews I noticed the same behavior from my interviewer that happened to be a woman. They were to busy asking me about my purse or my wardrobe instead of asking about my job skills, work history and job skills. It’s a sin and a shame that everyone is attacking this woman for stating something that truly exist in most progressive countries. Unfortunately I have better luck with a male interviewer and males in the workplace.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 4:45 am

The male environment works only if you’r not in direct competition for a job they feel they are best suited for.
I thought the same thing….
I took a freelance job in a( mainly )all male work place – 90%.and its been months since leaving,regret ever saying to yes to the job!..this one guy took a weird interest in me..i hadden had the change to know him at the same time as the others because he was on his honeymoon. When he came back, he requested a sit down, we sat and spoke breifly.having a proper met, i thought. I wanted him to know..I respected his position and would meet him in the middle. I wanted to learn the ropes, with respect…. He was told i was running the project, but he was a senior player and i wanted to respect that and not rock the boat. Not blazing guns at him. What mampn or women respects that…. But be a leader.not my first time. But I think they thought so. I look younger than I really am.

This veteran staff members kept smiling in my face and behind my back trying to turn the staff against me.the owner told me a completely different take on what this guy’s deal was. So i wasnt prepared for the rude awakening in the staff. This nut job guy would start snarky fights with me infront new clients…which lead to him always losing his cool and treating the clients like trash ( emailed the owner of the issues i faced)… to get back at me i guess…and he insist on me giving my home number BECAUSE HE CLAIMED HE NEEDED IT…. women have deep intuition for a reason. So, i gave him my email address and explained written business is always best – just incase there is an issue latermwe can revert back to he details. That made this whacko 10x worse towards me.

And it didnt help that his hot friend came to visit him more than he would (and always made a B line to see me when he came to visit devil man) normally , but now i was there….at one point, devil man claimed i didnt show him enough respect cause I refuse to give him my number ( told the head office and they agreed he was going too far)..then he started really harassing me – the nicer i tries to be and more professional… the worse he became…until, one day he throw water at me in front of clients. I couldnt believe that happened. Told the owner , he said he was shocked and spoke to him..I THOUGHT, NOT ENOUGH. FIRE HIM!

When i complained it brought a storm of complaints from the other men under him,which were happening before i arrived. They said he stole and was a bias bully towards them…Well, it just made matters unbearable….hired someome to help me.she was sweet at first, then i noticed she was always in a corner talking with him.The new young PRETTY lady I hire to assist me started mouthing off at me when I asked her to do something.she kept making major mistakes and i asked her what was going on. And she told me its my responsiblity and not hers ( and she waved her finger around while reading me the nasty girl act)…. I had to speak to her later that day.just Mutiny

The owner really didn’t care to do the right thing. This guy was a tool too. Spent more time trying to charm me than let me do the job i was hire for. I found out that the owner dated lots of women that look like me.some of the owners regular clients came in to see him and as I passed them they asked me was I his new wife! What!!!? “YOUR HIS TYPE”.and they werent kidding.this is part of the reason the other guy was angry! And it was told to me that he was aggressive to the only other woman that was there before me because she got the job he wanted 3years prior.

In the end, the owner realized I wasn’t interested in dating him and told me that the staff didn’t like me…so I got canned. Forget all the clients reguesting me or the guys that always made sure the work was done and we got along very well and would leave me be because they like the new vibe. It took 10% of the staff and the owner. ! Mainly the owner not getting what he hire to charm.and gone I am.really, Which was 2 guys and the owner (and I found out the third guy hated women cause all his wives left him because he was an A -whole to them. In his anger toward women let that slip.what hoping i would side with him. What?) The stories this guy told.what a jaded jerk!

The way I see it! The original loser should be grateful he still has a job.this guy was a demon and the owner knew it and let that wild dog hunt unsuspecting new employees. Women!
So not cool…

All I have to say …. is …… Krama a big Bitch!

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elizabeth
Saturday, April 14/2012 at 8:18 pm

My opinion on inner beauty and outer beauty is it nice for the really attractive women not to realize they are so attractive, and truly like a compliment. I have worked with a girl, that has said how hard it was that she was sooo attractive and I looked the other way and faked puking. Of course without her seeing. Really. It truly sickened me. Ms. Brick was not drop dead gorgeous, and yet you smile, show some intellect, able to have a conversation and be interesting that goes a long way, carry your self in a confident way. It means a lot. I also thinks it’s nice for the unattractive women to receive a compliment, but I do this as a stylist.

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Rebecca
Sunday, April 15/2012 at 12:02 pm

I am well aware of the pretty penalty, both having experienced it myself and also from the otherside. Early high school, before I quit netball, big mistake there, I was definitely attractive. Tall, blonde and thin. I got a lot of attention and yes, even teachers treated me differently. I got away with a lot more than your average student as far as punishment, backtalking, skipping out on homework, and class. A lot of it was also confidence, which I wouldn’t have had without looking the way I did. Then late highschool it all went the wrong way, I put on a LOT of weight, my shape changed, my features changed, damn you genetics, and I was far from looking like the ideal girl. Suddenly people weren’t cutting me as much slack as they used to, I couldn’t talk my way out of as many problems and my confidence all but dried up. People I was meeting didn’t want to spend extra time talking to me even though at that point I still acted the same as I always had, they were just less willing to put up with me. The contrast was made so much more obvious when I made a new friend who is undoubtably hot. Like boys,men, even girls, stop and stare at her. We go to music festivals and its chicks who stop her to tell her how hot she is, even though shes straight. Now, shes the one who gets away with everything, I went to class with these kids for four years long, she talks to one for ten minutes in one of her classes and I’m the one who has to be a plus one to every social event. Trust me the irony was not lost on me. Take what you’ve been given and run with it, if you’re hot, don’t complain about how much girls hate you. Its natural that they feel the need to compete so take it as a compliment. The upsides make it better than the alternative.

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Michelle
Sunday, April 15/2012 at 1:06 pm

Um, heck yeah, it happens. One of my best friends is absolutely gorgeous..a model, yadda yadda. I love her, she’s great. However, most other women treat her like absolute crap. I’ve seen it in action…very pathetic and sick. As for me, while I am not gorgeous (i’d say I am cute), I do notice that now that I am 40 and haven’t aged much past 28 (having oily Italian skin will do that to you…), I get a lot of ugly stares from other women my age who look far older. I’ve even had other moms at my kids’ schools refer to me as a “younger mom” with a disdainful look. Lol, they are my age or even a few years younger most often! Hilarious! And don’t even get me started on how these women act if they see their husbands chatting with me! lol. My husband says to laugh it off, but it honestly bugs me. I don’t dress slutty or “young” per se, but I do have a funkier style that a lot of women seem to “give up” once they hit a certain age….

Women are the WORST when it comes to this stuff. As for me, I’ve never had a problem befriending women who are far prettier or younger-looking than me. But some women have to feel like “the fairest one of all” their friends. Pretty effing sad!

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 5:57 am

I am not into women, but I think I love you! AMAZING COMMENT! Its an american thing! Really! I have watched the worst and live through it daily! Euro women dont do this. If they do… They have to be mental..but truly, They own their EVERYTHING! They know their worth. No matter what they look like. Which is chic and sexy no matter! I hear very little about men leaving them and euro women hating others. When they bring the friend they say is beautiful, God she is truly stunning! I respect that and love to embraces the stunning beauty.

But women in america what to find faults.sad! Pathetic!

I am in the same boat as you. I need to go back to hanging with my european friends. American women and men hate too damm much!

That’s about their insecurity! Sad they won’t grow from it ever. Its a sickness, so they want you to fall hard so they feel better. But with you! They realize your hard to beat, plus you do it with spunk!

Go girl! Just own it! Love the comment.
Reading all these comments makes me feel a hell of a lot better about Brighter Really bright! Told to dim down so others can feel equally excepted.not sure what that means. You do you, and I’ll be me!

not all women are nasty. Just the ones who just dont get YOU FEED THE WORST OF YOUR DEMONS BY BEING MEAN TO OTHERS BECAUSE YOUR JEALOUSLy AND HATE for the wrong reasons. Men dont stay with people like that.

And your youthful look.please! That’s from being super happy! There’s a study about it. America seem to skip the important details when it counts, especially, seemly women , these days…Those crows are hags with a capital ” H” haters. Makes sagging issues and other things show true color – ugly things.

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Jane
Sunday, December 22/2013 at 5:09 pm

Your right. I think the european way – women are more feminine in their ways and approach than we are in north american culture. They know when to talk and when not to comment, they are more refined. I met a man from india whose seeking a mate. He asked me why are women in montreal so much classier than ottawa. I said its the french-european influence, but I even fine the french women from haiti to have this elegance about them. I am half french myself but I did not growup in quebec.

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Jane
Sunday, December 22/2013 at 3:57 pm

Good for you girl! I am now 49. I have been very good looking all my life and been through alot in my life. What bothers some women who give me that jealous glare of get mean is I dont react, then they are at a loss as to what to say or do! I still have a few problems with a few women. I for one cannot even fathom why a 25 year o ld woman from africa would think she has to compete and knock me down every chance she gets (she works in my building), and she is the most brutal woman I have had to e n counter. THe thing is, most of the guys in the building love me and that makes her even more jealous (not that I have any interest in any of these men I dont) b ut they love me because I am very laid back, not aggressive yet I still have high confidence.

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Yasmeena
Tuesday, June 10/2014 at 11:58 am

It doesn’t matter what age you are. If you are physically beautiful and youthful looking women of all ages will sometimes react negatively.

I agree that it’s a bad idea for a beautiful woman to complain to her less attractive friends about the “beauty curse”. The only women you can speak to honestly about this are other beautiful women. It’s rather like talking about race or religion–a sticky subject, best left alone unless you are in like company. You get enough hate from just existing. Why make it worse by complaining about how everyone hates you because of your beauty?
And, OMG! Don’t be a multiple threat–beautiful, happy, healthy, kind, keep your figure over the years, have financial resources and a great husband! You will be sometimes (not always) be pilloried and even shunned. Beautiful women must steel themselves against this and understand the source of this hatred. I used to believe that we just had to take it. I now believe that we must counter and block it with positive energy. I have had to stop communicating almost altogether with a jealous colleague. Even my supervisors noticed and commented on her uncontrolled behavior. They spoke to her about it but she’s imply cannot control her aggressive, condescending attitude. Once I realized that nothing short of diminishing myself or disappearing would appease her, I stopped caring and let my positive attitude, effective work and great relationships with others at work speak for itself. The other day a client came in and turned down her offer of help to ask for me. She was so pleased with my previous work that she only wanted me to help her. That is my vindication. I never complain about her or speak about her to anyone in the workplace.

I believe that some women experience strong, fight or flight reactions whenever they encounter a more beautiful woman. Their first instinct is to drive you out. Add to that the collective weight problems that plague us in the US. Then, add to all this the images of physical perfection that the media bombards us with and you have a growing storm of dissatisfied, insecure women.

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GracieK
Monday, April 16/2012 at 10:21 pm

Like most other commenters here, I definitely agree that there is a penalty that comes with being attractive. Call me pompous, arrogant, whatever, but I know I’m an attractive person. And despite what anyone (even boy bands) say, pretty girls usually know that they’re pretty. They might be taking time to get over their adolescent insecurities (I didn’t grow into my looks until I was 16, and then it took me a few years to finally accept it), but they’ll accept it at some point.

But yes: the pretty penalty. I’m actually a fairly quiet person (I’m constantly worried about saying the wrong thing), so I think people tend not to talk to me because of that, but who knows? But being pretty comes with the unwanted attention that someone mentioned above (a smile = interest in the male mind). It also leads to stares that make me think something is on my face (like chocolate or pasta sauce, both which have been known to happen). And there’s a pressure to always look put-together. I showed up to class once as an undergrad without any makeup, and most of the girls in the small class gave me this weirded-out look.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 6:10 am

I couldn’t have written it better! You’ve described me…and I stop wearing make up. Now , letting the sun do its job. I look made up naturally! More hate now when they realize I dont wear make up and I look the way I do naturally. Forget me telling age. I would be stoned!

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julie
Wednesday, April 18/2012 at 12:33 am

I think its ridiculous to complain about being beautiful. Most people arent soooo gorgeous that they couldnt tone it down if they wanted to. This is a made up problem.

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QuiteLight
Wednesday, April 18/2012 at 1:09 pm

They shouldn’t have to “tone it down”.

It’s the problem & poor behaviour of the people treating them badly. The answer to someone treating you badly isn’t for You to change to accomodate what they want, it’s for them to stop judging & being abusive. You can’t live to please other people.

And for the record, no amount of “toning down” will satisfy someone who feels threatened. I watched my friend try to do this, & it was a train wreck. The person persecuting her just went after her more, scenting weakness. It didn’t stop until she put her foot down about boundaries & appropriate behaviour.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 6:19 am

THANK YOU, well said!

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AnonymousGirl
Wednesday, April 18/2012 at 1:18 pm

Tone it down? You can’t tone down beauty–either you are or you aren’t, and not being fixed up doesn’t hide a beautiful face.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 6:17 am

Which you dont live! Obviously! But want to! Why did you seek this article if you didn’t care?

Girl, please!

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Maria
Monday, November 18/2013 at 8:14 pm

I agree with you Julie. These women are just very insecure looking for compliments. Why would someone complain about being beautiful…

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Kathy
Tuesday, April 24/2012 at 10:46 pm

So late to reading this but had to comment…..I am average in the looks department, not ugly, but not model like in any way at all. But I am bubbly, outgoing and laugh a lot. I have often had friends way more physically beautiful than myself ask me how I attract guys. And I really can’t say for certain. The only thing is my husband (god bless him, he takes it all in stride when someone hits on me when we go out to a bar or something.) has said to me that I have bedroom eyes and I give off a vibe that I am a sexual women. I certainly don’t think I am putting all that out there. I think I have been fortune that I have never lacked dates (back when I was single).

I think very very beautiful women probably have a far harder time meeting guys and that there are plenty of miserable women who give them the pretty penalty. I seem to never have that problem with women because I am average. I certainly have had my share of drop dead pretty girl friends and I know a lot of them some how wind up dating guys who seem to find new ways to make them feel bad (either about their looks or weight or their style). i imagine insecurity probably makes some men kinda nuts or jealous.

As for the woman in the article, again, is she has the right personality I don’t doubt that her life is a sweet ride. Goodness knows I have stumbled into plenty of cool situations but I have never personally suffered the “pretty penalty”. Middle of the road lucky is my lot and I am quiet happy with it.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 6:32 am

I can count the men I have dated on one hand…its made me very picky too.and Good reason, if you ask me. I see trouble before it comes now

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Haleen
Wednesday, May 2/2012 at 10:03 am

Well, I don’t find her especially pretty. She’s “good to average looking”.
No offense but it’s just that I know people who look so much better (in my opinion.)
However, I don’t understand the whole “don’t judge” thing. Praising or appreciating something is a judgment as well, it’s just pleasant for the opposite party so they don’t complain…
Aaaaanywho!
I actually like having pretty friends. I think my mother is very beautiful, people even tell me she is. (She thinks she’s ugly…nonsense). My sister is beautiful, my roomate is beautiful and I do not hate her. I do wish I was that pretty sometimes but there are definitely no negative feelings or ill will towards her. I think she just comes across as somewhat vain because to many people she doesn’t seem “as” beautiful as she makes it seem. I mean, I was expecting the modelesque picture to be the “complainer” not that woman.
Oh well, that’s just my opinion but I love pretty people. I could stare at them all day male or female.

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anonymous
Friday, July 12/2013 at 12:30 am

Haleen, when you said complimenting is judging too, does that statement refer to being somewhat sarcastic? Im ethnic and i believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I also believe personality, but mostly character is what makes beauty a “complete package”. I think its really vindictive for woman to treat each other this way!

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Jane
Sunday, December 22/2013 at 5:17 pm

I just want to comment on an article I read in Chatelaine magazine about 10 years ago. It was a survey for men. They gave 3 scenerios of 3 different women who would walk past them in a bar and wanted to know which one they would find attractive and actually consider dating. 1) 3 lbs of makeup, high heels, low cut top, mini skirt (designer names) and kind of loud and possibly had one too many, but very pretty, dressed to the nines, smart! 2) a woman not as pretty, more of a tomboy type, very friendly, laid back, not in designer clothes, more casually dressed, a talker. 3) average jane nextdoor- 8 out of 10, very little neutral makeup, dressed in her own style of what she thinks is sexy that she threw together, friendly, etc.

The last girl – the one who is 8 out of 10, not a showoff, doesnt have to keep up with the Jones’, laidback, friendly, very little makeup means she is confident in herself and has her own style- this is the girl all the men would be after!!!

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FeatherDuster
Sunday, May 13/2012 at 4:04 am

@AnonymousChick: Right on sister! You are one wise woman. =)

My personal opinion on this is that Samantha Brick was probably definitely drop-dead-gorgeous in her 20s. The memories of being treated certain ways because of her good looks went with her to that sleepy village in France where she now lives and the isolation and quietness, combined with her advancing age, probably made her crave the attention she has now garnered. She may be wanting to relive her youth through the medium of writing. Whatever. The important thing that should not be lost on us is that she hit a nerve. I have no doubt she tells the truth about all her experiences. I know this stuff happens to pretty women. I have seen it in action, both with myself and with at least one other hot chick I know. The most dramatic incident happened when my hot friend, as a teen, was out driving somewhere with her family, just dreamily gazing out the window, and a woman in the car next to her just started greasing her off and then – no kidding – pointing at her and threatening her for absolutely no reason! I say this because I’m tired of hearing people say, ‘Oh, nobody abuses someone just because of their looks; she must be a bitch to get that kind of treatment.’ Well, sorry, but… you’re wrong. My gorgeous friend is the kindest, most sincere, generous, funny and warm person you could ever meet, has many friends and is popular. But when she is out in a club other chicks feel it within their rights to start trouble with her. I myself have experienced negative treatment, even bullying, in the workplace by older, fatter, less attractive women. It’s not a question of are you beautiful or not. It’s a matter of where are you on the beauty spectrum? Because you can be totally hot to yourself but as one humorist once put it, women are a rare element: “they quickly turn green if placed beside a finer specimen.” Maybe we should just own up to it. If 20-year-old Samantha Brick was standing next to you at the train station, all 5 feet 11 blonde inches of her, wouldn’t you feel just a little like shifting away slightly?

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 6:45 am

Great to read women supporting one another! Thank you!

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chrissa
Wednesday, May 16/2012 at 11:49 pm

I’ve had quite a few negative experiences from jealous girls, since I was a little girl. I really hate to talk about this too much because I know people only get annoyed about it.. But it’s totally true. I’m a modest girl and quite shy, even though I’m fashionable and like to dress up. Girls I made friends with would complain that I’m skinnier than them, and two of my ex-friends even asked me for my breast size repeatedly & got upset saying it’s no fair because I’m bigger. I never bring these things up, so it’s not me acting narcissistic. I’m aware I’m a good looking girl, and I like feeling pretty.. But I don’t feel superior to other people or compare myself like other girls do. It upsets me that it’s so hard to make genuine friendships with other women..I really think people should focus on other things, like inner qualities and what they like about themselves.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 6:53 am

STOP, …you are a gem! Own it! So you like being pretty! Be just that! And for those people sick of others saying what issues they have with being attractive! THEY NEED TO DEAL! They want us to feel off putting about what is real to certain people…well its just like them having to deal with not being the very thing they are sick of hearing

REALLY, THAN DONT LISTEN. I bet, if they were in that position they wouldn’t utter a word!

Let them suck it up…..Embrace your gorgena!

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Jenn G.
Friday, August 24/2012 at 11:38 pm

I have the “curse”, and it is difficult for me to ever say that i am beautiful, for one, I’m pretty modest and two, after reading all that ugliness, and tearing apart of that women from other bitter insecure women ….i dont think i will, though many tell me that I’m beatiful. And yes women want nothing to do with me, and why that is a legitimate problem is that your made to feel like your not good enough and the lack of a close true blue friendship with your own gender hurts emotionally(and sure its the cause of some of my complexes ). So I thought that mrs. Brick was attractive….who is setting the bar here…supermodels?anorexia bulimia, photo chop, airbrushed, and painted…not real. No wonder why women have such low self-esteem, they have been brain washed as to what they think they should look like, which is the epidimey of unhealthy. Good for her for knowing she’s beauiful, and saying it. It is pretty sad to hate something beautiful God created. From my own experience I confirm what she said, and I have to say I’m not a fan of women now, it’s funny they stare more then men do. Power to the pretty girls….and to the ones that think there not or less than…stop comparing somebody’s outsides to your insides, learn to love yourself and then you won’t be so threatened.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 7:56 am

Agism, racism, sexism, beauty hatred, money – success, and happy glows all come to hate if you beat those odds.
Too young looking for your age.hate you! Not fair that you are beautiful and youthful looking! Hate you more. No! Don’t ask how I do it -just hate.smart! No!

Racism. All Ethnic women age slower.genetics? Very possibly! But there some stunning white women and men, too for that matter. They are not stuck on weird parts of life. They are living!

Sexism.most to all Men can’t seem to get their minds straight about what wonderful power we provide when loved right and respectfully! Instead, we let them dismiss us when we are stunning creature because we dont want to seem too proud; but, instead get rejection because they fear you’ll do it to them first..insecurity! Leads to many things..and women need to stop hating on their on sex.you are helping society keep us all down.

Beauty hatred. Why cause that person makes you feel less than yourself. That isn’t that person’s fault! Really! Look from within! I grew into my looks.before that i admired beauty, now i embrace my own!

Money- success. Are had when you are confident in all that you are. So dont be jealous if you are miserable. You are making yourself unhappy because you spend your time hating others for their success and looking happy doing it. So they glow beauty! Learn from it! Not everything beautiful is born or given by genetics. Beauty needs to learn to be it as well, its nature! Like being ugly is learned.unlearn it.

I feel you and understand. As I got older, I learned more about who I was and what I needed! But I think the friendship part was holding me back..trying to be sympathetic and understanding to mean and spiteful behavior helps no one, just makes them bigger and badder monsters.

I had a friend who I was close to for long as i care to remember , at this point ….well, she was as cute as a button when we were all teens, went to high and college in the same state but stayed close for a while, then drifted, and some years later I ran I to her in the-streets..I didn’t recognize her, the best way I could describe her, with out sounding judging and cruel, but this is the way she comes off now! But that SNL character ” PAT”. And Her mood is weird and her tone is creepy… the reason I say that is she started stalking me and the men I befreinded and dated! I tried to be supportive and give her the family friend love that is needed BUT! Damn, woman! I had enough! She would pick fights with me and give a creepy laugh when she was done, call to spy on my personal life, but never shared not evem 10% of her own.EVER! I let a lot slide over the years , too old and way too creeped out to not notice. SHE’S GOT ROOTED ISSUES! And she dont even see it.

She even showed to places I never gave her details about..f**en google!

Really, some people make their own trouble and blame you for it, and then want to punish you for their lack there of…. sorry! I wont bite that bit, no more!..but now this whacko is doing it to our other school chum. I told that doll to beware if she comes at her, which she did.an she sees the same issues I did.

Friends are hard to find, but the better ones will find you. Dont give up and be strong in your beauty!

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Whitney
Friday, August 31/2012 at 1:19 pm

I tend to not dress up as much because I feel if I did all the time, people would think I’m uptight and vain. I’m kind of hit and miss on this subject. I know I don’t have many girlfriends because of my looks, but that is not the only factor, I just feel like I can’t relate to many women. I’ve been forcing myself to smile at everyone, or at least look complacent. I get a lot of comments that I look sad or snobbish, but I’m not it’s just my face! It sucks trying to make new friends either way, but I feel like people do not know where to place me on the stereo-type scale, so they don’t bother getting to know me. I’m seriously one the most understanding, non-judgmental people you’ll ever meet. I’ve kind of given up when it comes to impressing people, but I still have a hard time being stared at for dressing up even a little.
Also, I model and do other creative things. I want to be a filmmaker and in my major there aren’t a lot of women. It is very very difficult to be taken seriously in my field. Everyone assumes I want to be an actress or photographer. I have a hard time being recognized as a person with a brain and not a person that wears make-up and plays with her hair. I just want to be thought of as a well put together, intelligent woman. Is that too much to ask?

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Deb, H
Saturday, September 1/2012 at 4:41 am

I just typed a whole essay on this, but it deleted it as I didnt want to add my email address;/
Anyway, I will try and put my thoughts in a nut shell. I empathise and appreciate everything that’s been said here. Its been my life. I’m 38 and I’ve come to the realisation that a lot of the negativity I’ve experienced in my adult life has been over this. I am not vain, egocentric or a bad person, thats just intellectually lazy to throw that in to the fold on this debate.
Women cant handle a woman they see as a threat in any way (whether real or not). Looks, intelligence, composure, body, job, house, kids, husbands….it goes on. Men, are also threatened by women that tick boxes they feel they should tick as its masculine (wealth, car, job, intelligence). Most men cant handle a woman they think is more intelligent than them and its a double, triple whammy if you’re attractive as well!!
Will this psychological and social game of politics ever change? Only when women have true equality. Women compete with other women as they have no real power in society (and looks are still seen as part of that petty power) men dont have to compete on a more petty level in society as they have the power in social relationships already.

Sadly, on a more day to day level if you are on the receiving end, it can be horrible. I am a lonely woman with no female friends as women just cant relate or allow themslves to like me for the above reasons. Its always a competition with women I meet that I dont enter!
Anyway, be nice to make some friends here? x

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FeatherDuster
Thursday, January 10/2013 at 10:33 am

@Deb, H: I’d love to chat with you! You can email me at: atthenewemailaddress@gmail.com. I’m always interested in other womens’ experiences, especially when it comes to the Pretty Penalty. And this is to anyone else on this site who feels lonely and excluded because of her good looks: You are not alone! Email me and you will have an instant online friend to talk to. Only by sticking together can we hope to come out on top of these ugly situations! Life wasn’t meant to be depressing and lonely, even for beautiful people! =)

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 9:48 am

LOVE IT!

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 9:37 am

I cried! Really!

There with you! Damn petty party or dare I say pretty party! We are having …Ha!

I grew up as a tomboy and years later i Became a Model to pay for college .did better than i expected. I wasnt looking to boost my ego. Just pay for college. Learned to home in on looking like myself now.I corner a market of doing lots of beauty work. Which I will say no more of that stuff..

But for years my mom explained to me about her issues, now she’s aging with visual grace and the torment of others hasn’t helped in the years with what other women made her feel.

A site like this would have helped! But the damage is done. So I listen to countless stories of hateful, bitter women from the past who damaged her soul. And what scares me is as a baby I was a major player.

One woman made it her mission to see me dead. Hard to explain without a bible size book coming from it, but this woman always – secretly put me in harms way as a child.she preyed in My mother , as single women..(she had me at 23), had a 18 woman befreind a shy 18 girl from a small town , by being overly pushy! Is how that works.and lots of lying! Lots!

An older family friend ( who my mom stayed with her while finding her own in the city), but kept warning my mom to stop talking to her. SHE HAD NO CLUE HOW DEMONIC THIS PERSON was! She really wouldn’t give up on my mom…time went on, and the girls started to have families…but this freak kept trying to keep my mom in a certain place. Trying keep her down. Talking her out of wonderful things, telling her that something better will come from the next thing. And others watched and listen while she lied to whomever! Scam artist.this did it to her own family, so my mom took that as a friend looking out. You know teens

anyway, A sweet soul, she never seen hatred like this woman so she didn’t see what she was up to ….i recall several stories involving this woman where my life was in jeopardy , now my mom recalling this womans evil mind…a long story short..this woman’s only child is ONE YEAR, ONE DAY, OF BIRTH FROM MINE , and my mom is a good soul , which loves that kind of soul bond ( and comes from a huge family), but for her only daughter, she thought a life long born friend would be wonderful.

now a days, I told my mother, anyone trying to kill a kid because she’s jealous is a f**king demon. I won’t be apart of anything she’s apart of.I bless her own daughter, cause she even hate her mom.but this woman competes with us too much! She wishes me great harm and behaves oddly around me.
No more! Bye, bye crazy bitch!

When I was younger, and when ever I was in the bathroom for what ever reason that demon would try to enter! Gross! Bitch! Sorry for the language. It was brought up not to cuss, but after the life I have spent with people who secretly hate my mom and know me ,and my own issue with stalkimg and hateful people. Enough!
And how sad they are! Just stop!
Sorry! I just dont get the fascination. I see really stunnig people in all, but not worth killing them for it..no hating. I smile and see happiness.

But hate on baby!

Hey! I have no problem making new friends.so i am your friend. So if I can give out my email address its yours for the connecting! Just let me know!

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 8:23 am

Yes! It is too much to ask! What are you thinking trying to think or try to be brilliant!

The director that won an Oscar for “Hurt locker ” was brushed aside by her own famous ex- husband producer, um, jame cameron…dick! He thought he was better!!

What! Didnt you know – men are always better at being creative. At EEEEEVVVERYTHING. we just birth babies and take the blame from all negtive things others do…no,no we did! We have to know our place with everyone, Worst if your beautiful! Pretty, hot, and stunning and GORGEOUS!

So, no! You have not rights! Especially if you beautiful and Intelligent. Damn you freaky – clever bitch!

Just keep working. Develop tunnel vision.and work! Dont let anyone get close to your work, I MEAN IT! , they may be doing it to steal.sorry, but I am an artist and I have had enough men and women befriend me to steal, and some have. Never again. When its time. The right soul will present to you.

Just be great! And sexy doing it right now!

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michelle
Sunday, September 16/2012 at 2:30 am

I have experienced the pretty penaltyits horrible.iI coudlnt wait to get old.Now its following me into old age becuase it turns out the owmen who do this to me are always the oens who feel I am a threat to their “competitative edge” so theres always oen or tow aroudn at a time.Not once has any man sat there spreading nasty rumors that I am someone i am not just to keep me down.There is no reaosn for them to do that.Women however….sadly doing this-the more ugly they are the meaner they get and i noticed they dont take notice of the non threatening women in terms of beauty and they chum up with other uglies .I tested that it was my beauty.The better dressed the worse the jealousy gets.When the hair is short its not as bad.I dont think its “beauty” I think its sexual attractiveness levels.

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J
Sunday, September 16/2012 at 12:04 pm

Is this a serious post? No one can be this dumb.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 10:01 am

Well, you are apparently Dumb enough to read through to look to poke at the site!

Really , what brought your mind to seek this site?

Seriously!

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Tanushka
Monday, September 17/2012 at 10:28 pm

How sad that this topic seems to be a soar spot for so many women. I feel for you ladies! xoxo I have moved here from a country where there are a lot of pretty women, so unless you are a beauty queen no one will pay much attention to your good looks and single them out as a ‘judge for’ quality. It turned out to be quite the opposite here in Canada, as much as I think that Toronto girls are the hottest things out there, in the small town I am living, girls and women are not too fond of what I’d consider my mediocre slavic looks, esp. if I get introduced to their bfs/husbands, like I’m gonna grab the guy and run away with him! LOL. I’d much rather grab the wife and run away with HER! for some girly-chatty times:( So sad, so sad…

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 10:23 am

Canadian women can be weird. They have beautiful models, but they seem to really have issue with having to compete .period! Its weird. They seem like they fighting for they dating lives while competing with the beauties of world who are there.

Like grabbing for the last source of food! Sorry! That way most of the singles behaved.just odd.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 10:32 am

Sorry. Tried to type. THEY ARE FIGHTING FOR THEIR-

and That was the way most of the singles behave.

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june
Wednesday, October 3/2012 at 1:59 am

wow… i never knew the amount of makeup i wore could make other women not like me… i am just really insecure… it is my smoke screen… I’m not ugly or mean… not that i know of… i am a t shirt ponytail type of girl… nothing fancy… i just assumed i had this toxic trait that other women couldn’t stand… who knows i still could

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Samsara
Wednesday, October 10/2012 at 9:01 pm

The “pretty penalty?” It’s variable. My looks have been an advantage and a disadvantage. Generally, strangers look upon me favorably, treat me with a little extra indulgence. And I know that whenever I am introduced to someone new, that person is likely to be momentarily taken aback (in a good way) by my appearance. By now, I can read the quick gesture of surprise, see how attention shifts to me in a group setting. I am often complimented and verbally admired. It becomes an expectation. This makes me sound narcissistic, but it is how life has gone. And the thing is, this condition is not as enviable as it sounds. Because people come to their senses soon enough. And, strong physical attraction, when it is illicit, gets in the way of relationships. I am married. My lack of sexual availability eventually causes the attention of single men to wane. Married men either secretly proposition me or treat me like poison. Women who lack confidence in their looks or sex appeal go out of their way to exclude me. I merely want to make friends, but to be viewed always as a prospect or competition limits my options severely. My friends are not all beautiful, but they all must be confident. It doesn’t work otherwise. I have many times envied plain women, women who can be sure they are admired only for their personalities and women who won’t be losing much with age.

I’ve been excluded from certain groups of women for seemingly no reason in the past.

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cutenerdygrl
Wednesday, October 17/2012 at 4:21 am

I agree totally. ‘Men run 2me( until they find out im married) n Women run frm me( even without a chance).’ These actions leave me so lonely…it Hurts, really.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 11:01 pm

Women behaving cross towards others which make them feel empowered…because , when we complain about how they treat us they may feel validated. So voicing that it hurts and they wont play with us is their victory…don’t give them that power.

To me, they’re a bag of shit and they know it.and they want us to feel bad about their Lack of whatever we seemingly make them feel.

I don’t advertently or intentionality say or do thing to make people feel unexcepted because I am in their space, they do it on their own ….when they point out their own personal issues – THEY POINT IT OUT about themselves, while around me.
Bull! Not my fault life didn’t hand them the golden tickets they crudely desire. What is golden? We just differ, WE ALL DO. There are women out there in the world that are Really stunning from the next! I would look at them and think, WOW! And give her due, but i love me as i am…i can appreciate others fortune and love myself…because i differ! From you! We all find our own power and grow from it…this is where we shine from.

where were these hateful and insecure people (raised) from? ?… their bad form is their tacky up bringing. And they are to blame for their issues which they attack you and others for!

Don’t worry about befriending evil.truly, that is what they end up showing you… real soulful friends dont make you their issue of every problem they face , and then try to get you to apologize for their misfortunes in life! It won’t change unless you put your foot down, respectfully toward yourself! Screw them if they dont get the point you’r making. They aren’t thinking of your feelings, right!

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cann
Sunday, October 14/2012 at 11:08 pm

Oh the ugly people are so willing to diss the beautiful women, it boils down to jealousy from young stupid brits whom are jealous of a stunning woman whom happens to have better genes, taller, bigger eyes than you , slim and pretty, get over it and stop the jealousy. I have been bullied by youner jealous females and older. Get a life !! If a woman has a prettier face than you, accept it !!!

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Jennifer
Thursday, October 18/2012 at 12:22 pm

ALL RACES ALL GENDERS ARE DISGUSTING!!!!!

TREAT OTHERS WITH RESPECT AND YOU GET RESPECT BACK.!!!!!!

WALK A MILE IN THE SHOES OF SOMEONE ELSE.

RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT.

IF YOU CAN’T LOVE YOURSELF FIRST INTERNALLY WHO CAN YOU LOVE!

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Kaahmilah
Sunday, October 21/2012 at 6:12 am

Yes an there are other women that have felt the same but if you are also beautiful theres only so jealous you should be

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kylee
Thursday, October 25/2012 at 11:26 pm

I was the ugly red head throughout school but then discovered personal grooming afterwards. Turns out I scrub up pretty good! Women have been bitchy, isolating, backstabbing and catty towards me my whole life. As a Mum who hasn’t let herself go, I’m always denied involvement in group occasions or social activities. It actually really hurts to be left out. It’s not pretty women complaining about being pretty. But it is a mixed blessing. I’ve just come from a girls weekend and spent much of the time alone and crying because of the coldness towards me. Maybe it’s my looks. Maybe it’s my personality. I call a spade a spade. I’m sick of uglying myself down, dumbing myself down and brushing off compliments for the sake other women’s insecurities. Now I’m doing a degree and I’m never going on a girls trip ever again. I’m so sick of passive aggressive women doing ‘mean girl’ things to hurt those they are jealous of. Just a note, at our school, the really good looking mums are usually alone and the frumpy non-descripts or so-so’s are the one’s in the groups isolating the others.

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 11:32 pm

I found – that – when befriending a lonely pretty gal , which she may secretly be looking for some strange attention , she wouldnt dare flat out and tell you ehe needs , which ran others way..but you ! being kind and looking for a kindred spirit by befriending her or them, you need to keep watch.. you may find a ego monster that may make matters worst than build a really nice bond.

I befriended a pretty gal who drew the wrong attention and behaved badly when I got any. Her jealously was unexpected.
Just beware of all. Vet everyone.

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Lalala:)
Friday, October 26/2012 at 2:48 pm

If there’s anyone from London, Ontario – let’s hang out!)

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Lilly
Tuesday, October 30/2012 at 12:06 am

Being beautiful makes people act funny. A lot of women try to put you down, some ugly men will even be rude to you, guys will stare but rarely approach, and though it can be flattering, getting a lot of attention can be an uncomfortable feeling.

I think beautiful people are often moving targets for other people’s insecurities. Subsequently, this can give beautiful women terrible self-esteem because some people go out of their way to hurt people they are jealous of.

Also, many people will assume you’re dumb or convince themselves that you’re lacking in some other area so they don’t have to feel so bad about themselves.

Their is definitely a beauty penalty. It’s probably better to be average looking with great self-esteem, than gorgeous and insecure.

People tell me I’m gorgeous, ask if I’m a model, follow me around stores, but I have low self-esteem. Being beautiful does not mean that the world is your oyster– confidence does.

Samantha Brick is not a supermodel, but she is confident, and the world treats her accordingly.

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Melinda
Thursday, January 17/2013 at 11:55 am

So true, Lilly. I won’t say that I look like a model, but I am very pretty and I have been treated very badly because of my looks.

The put-downs, the stares, and the comments…not to mention the sexual harassment.

I’ve actually heard complete strangers talking about me in the most hurtful ways. Why? They don’t even know me! I remember once I was in a store and this woman was there with her boyfriend. I heard her say something about my “fake” boobs…I was about 19 at the time, very thin, with naturally big breasts. I was shopping for some new bras and that was difficult, given my body type. She was glaring at me while she said it. I guess her boyfriend was looking at me and it made her jealous, so she felt the need to say something unkind. I’ve been dealing with this nonsense my whole life.

Some people can be mean because they don’t understand.

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pretty crazy
Monday, July 8/2013 at 12:12 am

Whether the girl or the guy saw you first….she saw you period and she desires larger boobs because we all think men love thin bodies and SPECTACULAR BOOBS.
You sound sexy! Work your hotness. F’ those idiots. Just remember not to use your super powers for evil. Be good and fair and respect your surroundings.

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Eva
Thursday, November 8/2012 at 2:22 pm

I applied for one job a few years ago, and was basically a shoe-in, even started orientation only to be told after I interviewed with the HR director- a dowdy, sleepy woman in her 40′s that I didn’t fit the job. At this time, I had blonde hair. I got fired before I even started because this HR bulldog didn’t like the way I looked! Dyed my hair dark again, had a job in no time. No joke. Beauty is a complete package and I think unfortunately there are class biases when it comes to beauty standards. Exceptionally well-dressed women with access to exceptional skin care, more expensive cosmetics and high-end hair colour tend to look better. It seems petty but it’s not rocket science. In addition, the prestige adds to the desirability quotient. Celebrities are examples of these class biases to the ultimate extreme. These biases are by definition unfair to middle and lower-income women. Although this lends the illusion that you can “put on” beauty-in a very marketable way, you really can, however the fine print says only up to a point and within the confines of our material society. Outer beauty is attainable right off the store rack-if you have the money. I think this is also why women get jealous. It’s not just the pretty face or the immaculate manicure. It’s the dollars, leisure time, education, personality or personal talents that must have paid for that manicure or those low lights. Feminine interaction is complex in our culture because of these factors. It would make a fascinating study. I do not consider myself a show stopper by any means but I am a naturally attractive, semi athletic woman. There are definitive moments when I can actually sense other women retreating away from me or I can sense their hostility. When they are with men, it is a thousand times worse. Waiting tables in college, leering women would literally leave me pennies as a tip and on occasion, men would tip only a few dollars on a large tab if they were with their wife but if they came back with a male friend the next day they would tip half the total. Even shopping at the grocery store, I feel like women retreat close to their spouses and make it obvious that they are together-despite that I am in a happy relationship and feel my mojo, so to speak, is pretty much turned off in public. It’s very awkward and it’s very hard for me to make female friends and believe me, I’m no Miranda Kerr. But… this hints that it really is something intrinsic, unless you can afford to overcome that- which most of us cannot. We are tempted to say to men it’s all the same, but I’m not sure that’s true. Ms. Brick looks affluent and poised in those pictures. I would argue that if you put any average woman in a great pair of heels and a multi-hundred dollar dress with some great highlights, and tell her to smile, some heads will turn. On the other hand, if you put a beautiful woman in sweats and a baggy t-shirt with no make up on, no one would look twice. We women need to be careful when comparing ourselves to others and must remember that who we are is more important than who we’re not.

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Melinda
Thursday, January 17/2013 at 11:43 am

I agree, Eva.

I also believe it is ridiculous how blondes are perceived as more beautiful, because I have long dark hair and it has never stopped me from getting attention. I’ve experimented with hair color in the past, but my hair is thick and naturally dark brown, almost black, with a reddish hue. Blondes can be very beautiful but dark hair is more of an “exotic” beauty. However, the perception of blonde women is that they are more fun and flirty, so I guess that carries over into the workplace sometimes.

I’m not sure that money is important to be beautiful, though. It certainly helps if one can afford the finer things in life, but personally, I stick with simple inexpensive products that work very well.

A Revlon lipstick is just as good as a Chanel lipstick, IMO. But you’re right…money can help with things like cosmetic surgery (if one desires that) or designer clothes. I believe that the more beautiful a woman is, the less “help” she needs with things like that. I feel pretty with or without makeup.

But my hair and nails have to look nice at all times, no matter what!

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this
Saturday, January 19/2013 at 3:50 pm

I agree, so you dye your hair black and you get the job? Maybe it’s not because blondes are perceived as too beautiful but as too dumb!
Colour of your hair, skin, eyes don’t determine beauty.
I’ve seen butt ugly blondes and beautiful brunettes! and viceversa

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christina
Sunday, November 11/2012 at 4:17 pm

Ok so like it or not I have come to the conclusion that THERE IS A PRETTY PENALTY!!… Wait now hear me out and keep in mind this is CT thing. About 3 years ago was a 5’3″ 130lb Blond size 4 with DD’s. I have a pretty face speak 3 languages have a good education and try really hard to genuinely be likeable. That being said i had terrible luck with men wanting only sex and more importantly the worst time with female friends. I tried but girls hated me. I usually only managed to have one or two girl friends who would drop me the minute they got a boyfriend. ( Bait and switch anyone?) Granted I’ve always felt a bit awkward around people and my social skills are something I continue to work on. Then something happened I switched birth control and the puberty smack down happened all over my face. At the age of 26!!!!! You would be amazed at how differently people treated me. The first thing that I noticed is that men stopped wanting to be “friends” with me, stopped opening doors, saying nice things and in general most attractive men behaved completely differently. I’m not just talking about trying to hit on me. Yes some guys acted like i didn’t exist anymore but on the much more rare conversations when I did talk to a guy the conversation is totally different. For one thing when I expressed a political opinion or a well thought out argument men were not surprised. They did not try and “compliment”me by saying “I didn’t think you would be into politics?” or “Wow your really intelligent” with a confused surprised look on their faces. I never realized people (read men) were treating me like an idiot until they start treating me differently. Never the less back to the Penalty. i hate to say it but I have much better friends now. My girlfriends don’t drop me when they get a boyfriend and i get much less random bitchy clicky nonsense. I have been hired 2x at top ranking universities in the past 2 years by dressing even more down. ( baggy clothes and very little make up) Sure the lady in HR doesn’t complement me on my purse anymore or the cute heels I’m wearing .. But I got a call back and eventually the JOB!! I am 29 and i just now have been able to get this and the consequent stress weight under control. I used to think it was me that I was an outcast because of something I did or said that made most women hate me. I used to believe that there was some personality flaw that made quality men never view me as girlfriend material. Men want girlfriends they can show off to thier friends, the ugly truth is that if other women can make you socially undesirable you are not competition no matter how pretty you are. While the guy might try and sleep with you, he will never take you seriously if you don’t fit in with his social circle. So the bottom line is you have to decide when going into a new social or professional situation whether you want to make friends and make an impression as a person. Dress accordingly dress down! Even if you don’t love the way you look!! If your going out to a bar and want attention maybe get out that little black dress. Life is not fair and pretty girls have the edge but only if they know when to use it. Otherwise its a liability in new situations.

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elle
Monday, November 19/2012 at 1:34 pm

You’re right. Pretty women have an edge if they know how to use it. If I was devastatingly lovely then I would have used that to get a rich husband and riches for myself. Why not? That is the best use for that kind of beauty, to be honest. Get into the best social circles and take advantage.

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pretty crazy
Monday, July 8/2013 at 3:33 pm

That isn’t as easy as you think. If you don’t mind any rich man coming at you, and doing what THEY want than you are good. It worked for Anna nicole smith, larry kings lastest wife and many other women who end up with rich men. Security is important, yes! But love mends the soul

I preferr someone I am sexually and mentally attracked to. But i have come across some very wealthy men who think because they are rich THEY deserve you and can treat you any old way…even if you have no desire for them. Their arrogance lead them to believe you want them…I care for more than money, that why it’s necessary to make and have some of your own. Men with power over you controlling your fate.society reveres money and success as security ..if you want that BEWARE WHERE YOU END UP. I have seen women grasping at anything and everything after being dumped looking for the life again. One sad girl ended up in rehab. Don’t be used or use someone for wealth.

The thought – without real love and reason to be there isn’t a happy one. Money won’t really by true happiness if your mind is on just living the good life and not deeper emotions.

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Melinda
Thursday, January 17/2013 at 11:29 am

@ Christina…there is a lot of truth in your statement. It is just really sad that people treat others a certain way because of looks/gender/race. And it is sad that women bully other women over things like this.

A beautiful woman shouldn’t have to downplay her beauty to make others feel more comfortable. I shouldn’t have to look dowdy so that some insecure person can feel better about herself. And some men will objectify a woman no matter what she is wearing.

Just yesterday I was running errands. I threw on some blue jeans, an old pullover, and wore very little makeup but that didn’t stop men from hitting on me left and right. And I still received a few dirty looks from other women.

If a pretty woman wants to wear nice shoes, she shouldn’t have to deal with rude comments about why she’s “all dressed up”. If a pretty woman combs her hair or puts on makeup, she shouldn’t have to deal with catty comments from others.

There is a saying in the Bible that tells people not to hide their light under a bushel. There is also a quote by author Marianne Williamson that tells people to be proud of who they are, because it isn’t right to “play small” so that somebody else’s insecurities will be appeased.

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pretty crazy
Monday, July 8/2013 at 5:26 pm

Well said! I agree completely!

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Princess
Saturday, October 5/2013 at 1:56 pm

Having DD, does not make all men want you or women. Not all people are attracted to nasty huge tits. size 4 and DD’s you must look horrible. You are very selfish, in thinking that everyone is jealous of you because you have saggy big tits. Big tits does not equal beauty, just as skinny does not equal beautiful.

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Shelley
Tuesday, November 13/2012 at 9:00 am

Yeah I think this is true. She probably does get her fair share of hate, all women do. Thats how they operate with each other, its terrible. You can be flat out nice to another women and she will disrespect you or openly be rude. No, I dont think all women who have this problem are narcissist. You dont have to even be beautiful to have haters. We should let women speak for themselves since obviously the people who write these stories online dont have this problem or else they wouldnt be researching and studying it in the first place. This isnt exactly rocket science anyways, its been going on since the beginning of time.

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pretty crazy
Monday, July 8/2013 at 5:35 pm

Fair share of hate?

Sorry! Most of the comments mentioned are regarding- LOST INCOME, NO REAL FRIENDS, NO COMPANIONS, NO OR VERY , VERY LITTLE RESPECT.

I get what you are trying to say in some aspect but…

And people do write out in search to seek if there are others having similar issues.its not unusual. Really, an outside forum is better…Asking friends if they have your issues can be hard. You can come off looking like you’re bragging about such issues

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Maria
Sunday, November 18/2012 at 6:41 pm

I think that the reason that alot of women feel jealous of beautiful women, is because we are constantly bombarted with photoshopped images on magazines and all sorts of media, saying that in order to look and feel beautiful we have to look like them. When in reality most of the women from the media look average without special make up and photoshop. Personally I do not find supermodels attractive or celebrities, I like curvy women with natural beauty. Not women that have fake this fake that. I don’t understand why people are obssesed with artificial beauty. Aslo my girlfriend gets upset at me because most men find me attractive, I have perfect skin and people think I have make up on, because my skin is naturally flawless. No, I am not an anorexic super model, I don’t need to wear hair extensions. I was born with a natural tan complextion, dark eyes, and dark brown soft hair. I am 36D size 10 in jeans 5’4, I am not fat, but I am not skinny, I have a very womenly body, I would never fall into the trap that I have to be 5’11 and be a size 0 that is sickly not sexy, the media wants us to think that is the way we should look. People lets appreciate real beauty, the one we see when we wake up in the morning.

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elle
Monday, November 19/2012 at 1:28 pm

I would say there are some women that do. But most women don’t. I know plenty of gorgeous women with friends! If the lovely female in question is a complete stuck up b***h trouble maker who poaches boyfriends or flirts, that’s what gets her the hatred from normal women.

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Melinda
Thursday, January 17/2013 at 11:13 am

@ elle…that is true. But what about pretty women who are nice to everyone and most people still treat them badly? I’m not stuck-up or a troublemaker, nor do I “poach” anyone’s boyfriend.

Women who flirt with men who are “taken” are disrespectful and it has nothing to do with looks, because I’ve seen the plainest women trying to flirt with my husband.

And if a woman wants to flirt (as long as it is with a single fellow and no one is being hurt), where is the harm in that? Beauty and youth are fleeting…there is nothing wrong with a pretty girl enjoying herself as long as she is kind to others.

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Maria
Thursday, January 17/2013 at 11:42 am

Pretty women usually have a chip on there shoulders. They think everybody is attracted to them, and that all women are jealous of them. I get harrased by men everytime I go out and some women don’t like me; but that does not mean that I am bragging about it. I was born with a natural tan, which many people pay to have 36D natural, curvy booty, and I don’t feel that I am a model, or that thin women with no curves are jealous of me. Everyone is attracted to different things. I also don’t believe that all men want me, in fact I know that not all men are into tan women with curvy bodies. Everyone here is very conceided. Also, being plus sized does not make you uglier than a thinner women. I am not plus sized, but I have seen women size 14 that have not fat, they are just very curvy with a small waist,, just big butt and breast.

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Melinda
Thursday, January 17/2013 at 12:13 pm

@ Maria…I don’t know if your comment is directed at me, but I will dialogue with you anyway.

Most pretty women do not have a chip on their shoulders. If they do, it is because of the harassment and disrespect they face from others. Wouldn’t you be defensive if you were being treated badly or unfairly?

And you claim that you aren’t bragging, but you went on to describe yourself. You sound like a very beautiful woman, BTW…my looks are similar to yours.

The spelling is CONCEITED. If you intend to call people names, then spell it right. And there is nothing wrong with a woman believing she is beautiful, as long as she is kind to others. You’re not adding much to the conversation…simply coming here to insult people for no reason. Some of us have experienced people being mean because we’re pretty. Why is that so difficult to believe?

If a person is rude and mean, then I can see why no one would like her. But if one is sweet and pretty, what’s the problem?

I agree that everyone is attracted to different things. And you are right…being plus-sized doesn’t make a woman ugly. I’ve seen some very beautiful women who are size 14 and up. A lot of bigger girls have beautiful faces, while some skinny girls don’t. But some plus-sized women are unkind to thinner girls out of jealousy. Do you think that is fair? No one should be mean to anyone, whether they are black or white, young or old, straight or gay, male or female, fat or thin, tall or short, pretty or not so pretty.

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Maria
Thursday, January 17/2013 at 3:49 pm

Number one, you don’t need to be correcting my spelling. I write pretty good english for someone that just learned the english language 3months ago. The reason that I describe the way I look is because alot of people consider me attractive, but I don’t go around thinking that I am better looking that everybody else. I am very humble, I don’t consider myself attractive, I am a regular person. I don’t even like when men stare at me, I am not a sex object. I don’t even think is logical for a women to feel intimated by me, I don’t flirt or anything of that nature. And I don’t use the way I look to get away with things. I don’t think that my complexion is hotter than people that are lighter skin than me. Nor I think that my boobies are better than someone with small breast. In fact I wish I had small ones. lol

pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 3:06 am

Melinda, beautifully said!

Maria seem to feel a little neglected, if you ask me… she may think this is a blown up subject because she , herself may have deeper rooted feelings that she may feel , but not saying, but really is impling,SHE isnt the ideal look that society seem to focus on in the media, and average everyday society….but has to face reality ..we all do, sugar!… (which she noted! Had to note! ALL MEN DON’T DESIRE HER LOOK)…KEEP IN MIND MARIA- NO ONE , NOT ONE COMMENT THAT I HAVE READ THROUGH THIS WHOLE THREAD HAS MENTIONED , WRITTEN, NOR REPORTED ” that EVERYONE WANTS THEM AND DESIRES THEM ALWAYS BECAUSE THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL! We, they and all seem to be speaking something else , which Maria may not have to worry about? Goooood foooor you!

But! I see it another way, she took time to read through the thread of comments, never getting the real feel of each story or role each comment explained regarding their issues. Instead, she is the rude girl who needs to check out what she thought this article was about , I GUESS . About some woman claiming to be hot, so she could take a dig..because she took one at everyone who commented here.

Really, if I look deeper, I ask Maria? What were you looking for when you typed out the sentence to get to this site ,because you did come here for a reason….and why did you read on?

If you come to some made up thought that you wanted to see what this was about! Bull! You seem to be the girl who seeks higher praise for being. People here are talking about humans being badly because of their insecure issues , which they blame others for…now,WHAT EVER THAT MAY BE, marie’s focus is on the obvious and what seems to matter to her. Her looks. You pointed out what is important to maria!..maria seems to be the very people everyone is saying WHAT GIVES to. Great, you love yourself, and why shouldnt we, WITHOUT THRPE DRAMA AND THE HATE!?

What i know about womenn-many love to be the hot number no matter, and dont like to read or hear other making light of what MARIA has pointed out about herself; which i might add , only 3% of the comments described about their looks. Not saying that was wrong or bad, but no one faulted them. Why would you fault others. Really! You, maria, being one of them.

That usually implies you’re justifing your own worth and your presence amongst the herd. Why? If you are so confident in your own skin?but finds the need to be snarky and catty in the mist of giving yourself praise. MELINDA IS SOOOOO RIGHT!…Kinda like what we are all speaking of. No! Maria Just being snide and rude as the rest. You fit in.take a place at that table, young lady, cause you’ve got a lot of learning and growing up to do .

sandy
Tuesday, January 22/2013 at 11:09 am

@Melinda

I hate that attitude. It’s part of the reason why there’s so much stupid competition between women. If girls flirt with “taken” men, the men should resist it. Otherwise, how can you trust him when he’s alone?
I’m not saying anything about you and your relationship, but I’ve seen countless relationships in which the women hated other women for being “flirty”(or just existing) when they should’ve instead questioned the men they’ve chosen.
I say if you have to keep him on a leash to make sure he won’t cheat, then he’s not worthy of you.

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 2:13 am

Agreed! But Everyone has their story.she has her’s, you have your’s.

Comes down to morals

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 3:25 am

Oh, @ Maria, I failed to mention, when nasty people push my nice person buttons too hard, and my super MAIN REASON why women think they can come at me…well, they learn their lesson! And it STOPS THEM IN THEIR TRACKS!

I will put a bitch in her place when I know SHE OR HE (even) is in the TOTAL WRONG!..not being rude , just stating the facts, dear!

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 1:21 am

I couldn’t have said it better!
Thank you!

Even if the guy is free and single most women, even men who think they can make the guy switch over to their side don’t want you cock blocking . Literally, cock blocking.So what if The intended guy has his sites on the visual intended girl for him – it’s usually the pretty face , or smiling mouth and eyes… most dont care if HE MAY LIKES YOU BEST! They saw him, you should find another!… Move it along.

Really, all that means – no one in that room will let you have your shot because each man was claimed when they walked in room , or whenever they were noticed ..doesn’t matter if the guy wants you OVER ALL… The fight is on! And YOU didn’t know it. and You only just came for some fun and to meet some nice people. Good lord!
For me:
The guy that stole my heart – well, we had every sex pistol coming at us. Haters all wished we didnt even speak. But we always found our eyes looking at one another in any crowded room…when we started dating I told him to tell people we were just friends ( i wanted a real shot at seeing if we fit right. People challenging us in the worst way wasnt my vision…Other people pushing us apart making it hard to see things without all the trouble that haters bring) it worked. Jealous people need to stop. Someone taken IS TAKEN. If you are meant to have your shot.THE UNIVERSE WILL GIVE IT TO YOU .haters! You back off!

instead, whatever i deal with comes down to every horny chick busting open their clothing or having nothing covering them to TRY to over lap what i offer him.. I thought it was funny how these scanks were offering up goods right infront of me, and he won’t blink.
Not sure if it was respect for me or what! Made me fall hard! Of course – Men notice the scanks!..and women notice when womem are being scanks. Stop making nice women the issues focus on the real scanky ones.

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pretty crazy
Monday, July 8/2013 at 9:57 pm

Most women want to beat the pretty girl to the punch.even if no ill intention was being thought of by the pretty gal…but when people are curious and wondering – when concerning said lady is the topic – it appears the men have interest to seek new mental spoils (so to speak). most women relax when in a committed bond; but men, their minds keep seeking thrills..so, she is a possible threat, even if that wasn’t the direction any one is taking.

Men love to flirt , and are enchanted by beauty. Any beauty. People in relationships should try to keep their relationships fun and fresh, this is a soul reason men make googlie eyes at charming, pretty ladies – even in their presents.

No women wants to see it unfold, so they judge before they have to witness.which is wrong! But I understand. Its kinda like having motherly instincts. And having your guard up.

But given the time to meet said beauty, they will gang up sweetly to fish for infor.the beauty tells her best, the women will report the worst of what they feel will make them feel better about the pretty gal’s existence. Truly, they don’t want to like the lady that is a 10 to their 5 or 6 scale of overall character.

What is the average scale for a normal women as they say!?

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rahrah
Tuesday, November 20/2012 at 5:47 am

I read Ms. Brick’s article as well, read many of the scathing comments directed at her and her looks and personally I will not comment on her looks or put her down because I believe it is simply a matter of all things being being relative. What she wrote however, every last bit of it, is something that I can identify with and it is real and it does happen. What I believe may be the case for her, is that she may be seen as a “triple threat” if you will, some people can tolerate you if you are beautiful but you are also seen as stupid, bitchy, plus size, or fall short in some way in their eyes. If you are perceived to “have it all” as in you are beautiful, fit, intelligent, warm, friendly, funny and not a boyfriend/husband stealing home wrecker most women see you as a complete threat and you will not be tolerated. If people feel that they can “one up” you or compete with you on some level and that there is something they can also bring to the table, they feel more comfortable around you and accept you as being more human and flawed but if you are someone whose “got it going on” in every aspect of life including having beauty, you will not be tolerated point blank. I know plenty of drop dead gorgeous plus size women with great personalities who have tons of female friends, but I also know drop dead gorgeous size 6 women with great personalities who barely have any female friends at all a few at best. The “flaw” so to speak, of being plus size is the great equalizer for many beautiful women but if and when they lose weight, they also lose many of their female friends because now the beauty she had all long is now coupled with a new hot body, and again it will not be tolerated. The “pretty penality” does exist and it is very accepted to hate on a beautiful woman. Some people see it as leveling the playing field and believe they have the right to do so and take it upon themselves to go out of their way to treat beautiful women like crap just because of their looks.

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anne
Sunday, November 25/2012 at 1:46 pm

I always considered myself average looking, but I had to take a lot of stick when I was a teenager from my ugly peers. I`m thankful that I wasn`t born beuatiful, because my lfe would have been intolerable if I had.

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Melinda
Thursday, January 17/2013 at 10:56 am

@ rahrah…I agree wholeheartedly. My cousin has always been a “plus-size” woman (rarely smaller than a size 14 or 16 at her lowest weight). There is a noticeable difference in how we’ve both been treated. She is beautiful, especially when she is dressed nicely and her makeup is done, but I’ve noticed that other women are more willing to be nice to her than they are to me. I’ve wondered if it is because she is an extrovert while I’m more on the reserved side, but I’m not sure. I think that some women feel more comfortable with a pretty woman if she is “full-figured” or heavy, as opposed to a pretty woman who is naturally slim with curves in all the right places.

I’ve always been thinner than she is. I was a size 0 at my smallest (but still had nice curves) and now I’m a size 8-10. My personality is even more sparkling than hers and I dare to say, at the risk of sounding conceited, my face is prettier than hers. She is more photogenic, though. This isn’t to put her down or say that she isn’t beautiful…because she is. But I find that beauty combined with a nice body (not necessarily stick-thin but certainly not fat) brings out the insecurities in some women. My cousin and I have always had a difficult relationship due to her jealousy. It’s funny because her life has been better than mine in many ways. I should be jealous of her because of the things she has, but I’m not.

She actually ran out of a restaurant once because her boyfriend at the time struck up a conversation with me and was simply asking general questions like if I knew so-and-so, where I went to school, etc. Later I found out that he’d told her I was pretty. I was only about 13 at the time, so it blew my mind to think that she could feel threatened by a child.

I guess because they don’t see an overweight/obese woman as a threat. When I started gaining weight because of depression and health issues, some people were quick to point it out and they took delight in it. I don’t understand people who delight in the misfortunes of others. They wanted to put me down because I wasn’t the thin, pretty girl anymore. I never did anything to them. But it was OK for them to be unkind to me because of the way I looked. So ridiculously unfair.

Like, you can’t tell a fat girl anything, but she can sit there and criticize you for being “skinny” (as one poster has done here…I won’t say names). A person with dark/tanned skin can say the most vile things about light-skinned women, but the reverse is not allowed. I understand that people are trying to level the playing field but that isn’t the way to do it.

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rahrah
Thursday, February 7/2013 at 9:01 am

@Melinda, you are absolutely right when you say that you can’t tell a plus size woman anything and that it is perfectly ok for them to criticize smaller women all they want, although I do understand where their defensive feelings comes from. The plus size woman regardless of how beautiful she may be is all too often put down, overlooked and made fun of so I “get it” but as you said, criticizing smaller or fit women women is not the way to level the playing field.

I find it incredibly sad that we women are always pitted against each other on the basis of looks, because truth is especially when it comes to beautiful women, it is not like she has much to do with her looks anyway. Sure many women work hard at trying to be more beautiful by using makeup, keeping fit, making sure no hair is out of place but many women are just born beautiful and don’t need to do much else except wake up and be stunningly beautiful, my point is why should women act like another woman’s beauty however they achieved it, is taking something away from them? Just as you said a grown woman was jealous of you and you were only a 13 year old child, how insecure can someone be, it’s not like you had much to do with you looks at that age. If people want to be mad at somebody because of their looks, then they need to take up the issue with that person’s parents who created them LOL.

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Jane
Sunday, December 22/2013 at 4:33 pm

I dont care what a younger woman who is very pretty thinks of me. I feel she has not experienced the real world and how dare her judge me. I find al ot of younger girls in their 20s up to age 30 are highly disrespectful to older women particularly in the workplace. We actually work circles around them and have great ideas since we are more experienced, it just makes sense.

Also one of us could wakeup one day and discover you have cancer, lose all your hair, worry about your whole life and future- u could be in your prime and look like gina davis and your whole world could change overnight. This is a woman in my building like this, shes the sweetest most beautiful woman-a clone of demi moore who is only 40 and battling liver cancer.

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 5:19 am

Totally see your point about DOUBLE STANDARDS. Since society claims people in a particular categories, which some may be noted as better than most- LIFE IS GOOD FOR YOU!
sooo, YOU aren’t allowed to judge, complain or defend anything negative thats been said or done to you , EVER!
In fact, if you do…. the world will brand you as a selfish, high brow bitch!…HOW DARE YOU! Know it all bitch!…especially, give yourself any cheers for trying to do your best and be your best at something your heart prides or desires…forget! How dare you show others up and show yourself off any brighter! At that! You have plenty , be happy with that!

So, you aren’t entitled to be good at anything. Just be pretty and SUPER STUPID. Thats your real place, that’s what people can handle!…really,Wont help either.the complainers and haters types of People value looks over all. Lets keep in mind, they hate what they created as a vice.their vice…their”BEAUTY GRUDGE”. I certainly DON’T HAVE ONE, bring on the GORGEOUS! I love smart, clever and talented people…that’s BEAUTIFUL! And top it off with strong self confidence, well, thats f**ing GORGEOUS! And still be kind..just brilliant!

Yeah, I would be mad too if I knew I wasn’t growing because i hate and lots of it; plus , it stopped me from seeing better in others and in myself.
Anywho…
Then, there’s that age old question of WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER?…to be BEAUITFUL OR SMART for the rest of your life?… what they fail to realize is that- those that have both suffer the most! Things are greatly expected, but not wished to come true…Because of the haves and the have nots can’t seem to mend the understanding on what seems better or best for all.

So what does that mean for those that are ugly inside and out, because of their attitudes?

I realized I took pride being happy and enjoying learning new things and growing into my own, which makes things seem so much more beautiful, and it shows! To me. And people tell me ( who are kind.no need for me to seek it, its said by them. And I thank them).others cant shine because they think of only greed and needs.

You are damned if you do ! And punished like Frankenstein if you take the reward of your good fortune.

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kim
Monday, November 26/2012 at 1:51 am

i can honestly say i haven’t got a single female friend,i’m in my 50′s now but have still kept my youthful looks. i’ve worked in factory’s since leaving school but always took pride in my appearance . i go out on my own now because the girls i used to go out with used to leave me on my own . it doesn’t bother me because i have a fantastic time . i meet lots of great people too. if people don’t like me for my looks then thats their problem

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FeatherDuster
Thursday, December 20/2012 at 10:52 am

I posted a comment here earlier this year. Since then, something has happened which brought me back rudely to the reality of being judged based on my looks. I’m by no stretch of the imagination beautiful. I would say good-looking when all done up to the nines at best, but still with obvious flaws. But recently, at a workplace I was temping in, I met a lady who befriended me and I believed we were getting to be good friends. But she kept talking about looks, this beautiful friend or that or the time she did herself up and her ex was jealous of her etc etc. Then she happened to mention that one guy in our office who always avoided me had been instructed by his jealous wife to stay away from me (she had visited the office one time and seen me working with him). I didn’t take much of this seriously until something happened that greatly disappointed me. I was finishing up my work assignment there and I arranged for me and this lady to go out for dinner and get to know each other better. We exchanged numbers and I left. The day before the planned date I contacted her but got no reply. So I sent her another message, and then another. No reply to either, it was as though she had fallen off the planet. I found out from another work colleague that she wasn’t interested in seeing me. She had essentially blocked me from her life and didn’t have the guts to just tell me. This situation left me so bewildered and hurt that I’m now seriously over trying to make lady friends at work. They flat-out suck. Insincere, back-stabbing, jealous, insecure, vain bi***es. I’ve decided not to be apologetic about myself anymore; who cares if people think I’m stuck-up, I’m going to work the seX factor to the max and let the chips fall where they may. If a hot person has to put up with this sh*t every day just to make a living, they are entitled to the upside of the equation. Let women be jealous of us! I hope their eyes pop out and they have arguments with their spouses and ruin their sex life. I don’t care as I don’t have a sex life anyway, I’m just a lonely spinster who gets picked on by ugly but happily married women.

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ITNJ
Friday, December 28/2012 at 3:22 am

My husband has all kinds of female coworkers. Perhaps, they may think that I’m jealous of them. My husband doesn’t socialize with them unless if I’m around. I feel so pressured… I just pretend that I enjoy being around them. My husband think I’m nice because I’m polite. He didn’t know that my feeling is in hell.

I hate gossip. That’s the bottom line of this. I prefer to stay by myself if I cannot integrate with straightforward ones.

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Melinda
Thursday, January 17/2013 at 10:14 am

@FeatherDuster…I bet that if we knew one another or worked together, we would be friends. I welcome friendships from all kinds of people as long as they are decent, kind individuals.

I’ve had similar incidents happen to me as well. My mother was extremely gorgeous as a young woman (and still is at 56 years old). She went to the dentist when she was much younger to have her teeth cleaned. She had a petite little frame, long dark hair, deep blue eyes, and an olive complexion. She was a former beauty queen in her youth.

The dentist’s wife worked in the same office as a receptionist. She took one look at my mother and immediately became jealous. She was very attractive too, but not as pretty as my mother, and she was a bit older. One day she accused my mother of being after her husband (the dentist) and my mother was shocked by the accusation, because she isn’t that type of woman.

This lady didn’t know anything about my mom…she simply saw a pretty girl with a sweet smile and a lovely personality, and felt insecure.

Now in a way I understand why she was insecure, because her husband was often unfaithful to her. But my mother isn’t one to play around with married men. She is a decent person. I guess that in your situation, it was kind of the same thing, like your story about the male coworker whose wife told him to stay away from you.

I’ve been in quite a few unpleasant situations myself, with being treated badly because of my looks. I am married but I don’t have issues with single women…unless they are flirting with my husband and it really doesn’t matter what they look like. I don’t respect that kind of behavior because it is low-class and disgraceful. I think it is rude for women to flirt with men that they know are in a relationship with somebody else.

But I have been in situations where some catty b*tch assumed that I wanted her boyfriend/husband (because he was looking at me). Instead of being mad at the guy, these women would be mad at me. I never understood it. Because I’m pretty? How is that my fault? Men will notice other females, pretty or not, and I don’t like unwanted attention because I’m shy. I can’t help it if some guy stares at me in front of his wife or girlfriend. I’m not flirting or encouraging them to look at me…they just do. I’m sure that happens to you, too.

And I agree…I don’t think it is right for pretty women to be mean to plain or ugly women, and they shouldn’t be mean to us either. The way a person looks is more about genetics than anything else. It is pure luck if a person is blessed with beauty, although some people have to work hard at being beautiful. No one should be treated poorly no matter what they look like. It is ATTITUDE and ACTIONS that matter.

I believe that if some insecure woman is unkind to you because you happen to be pretty (or prettier than she is), you should kill her with kindness. Smile broadly showing all your teeth and continue to strut your stuff. Don’t sink down to the level of jealous, angry people who want to hurt others.

Also…have you ever experienced jealousy from other beautiful women? I certainly have.

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Anne
Monday, January 28/2013 at 3:14 pm

I once lived in a hostel for teenage girls, & you couldn`t pssibly meet a bitchier crowd if you tried. They gave me stick over having frizzy hair, being overweight, & having spots. well duh, I was an adolescent, what could they expect? I mean, It wasn`t as if they were beauty queens, most of them could barely rate as average with all their make-up & best gear on, so where did they get off critisising me! There was also the warden, who couldn`t keep his hands off me, & was constantly going on about what great legs I had, & how I was asking for trouble wearing such short skirts, what a moron! I was all too aware of what was going on, the other girls were jealous because compared with them, I was hot, & the warden knew it. One day I decided that I couldn`t stand it any more & ran away. Most of my adult life continued like that, bitchy women, & men only wanting me for sex. I`m now past the age for all that, & I`m glad to be free of it all!

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pretty crazy
Wednesday, July 10/2013 at 3:46 am

You tell them! Love your comment!

Not bragging.truly! Not trying, but…I dont wear make up at all. So can’t hide! And done up is basic glam glam for me.looks like a photo shoot.

But,Never seen so much dislike, but the Hate from those who get to know you is 10x worse… i lost a trusted , long time client when a man ( which no one know She liked, cause she treated him so badly. She owned the company, and he was one of her freelance clients, and i freelanced with both of them) …well,she had her sights on him ( for 3 years , i guess,that they knew one another) …i knew her first, we always seemed cool towards each other..and the guy was new to me. To my surprise ( i just broke up with someone, and a co- worker pushed me and the guy to talk).so,he asked me out ( after his 6month break up with his girl friend)… I dont want to be the rebound gal, ever! So I befriended him at work…but the lashing she gave me was wicked, to a point she started to cheat me on our contracted agreement. stringing me along for month in paying me, and lied to the other clients about me so they wouldnt ask for me for another season, which included the gent..she was shocked when took her A** to court.won!

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Melinda
Thursday, January 17/2013 at 10:26 am

@ Kim…same here. I had a few female friends when I was younger, but it is very difficult to meet other girls/women who aren’t catty and competitive. I know some people will disagree with me, but it’s true.

I believe that a lot of women feel insecure, threatened, and uncomfortable in the presence of a woman who “shines” somehow…whether it is because of personality or wit or beauty or something else.

I’m not talking about a conceited, stuck-up woman. I mean the type of woman who simply has something about her, some quality that can’t be defined. And if she is beautiful on the outside too? It really bothers some women a LOT (and some insecure men).

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pretty crazy
Wednesday, July 10/2013 at 3:49 am

You hit the tail with a nail on the donkey!

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 6:20 am

Great attitude! And they are JEALOUS! Period!

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Maria
Thursday, December 20/2012 at 11:32 am

HA,HA,HA. Supermodels are not gorgeous, most of them are super tall, lanky and have a boyish figure. I don’t understand why would someone with no boobies, no ass, and no hips be considered extremely gorgeous. Guess people are attracted more to boyish types. MOST MODELS ARE ALWAYS DONE UP, FAKE TANS, FAKE HAIR, FAKE NAILS, FAKE EYECOLOR, HOW CAN ARTIFICIAL BEAUTY BE MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN REAL BEAUTY. THIS WORLD IS SENDING A WRONG MESSAGE TO YOUNG GIRLS AND WOMEN, THAN IN ORDER TO BE CONSIDERED HOT, YOU HAVE TO LOOK ARTIFICIAL AND HAVE FAKE THINGS ON YOUR BODY.

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 8:14 am

You seem to be stuck on a particular type of beauty. Your type of gorgeous is pretty or a better word Beauitfully superficial types, which you’re complaining about. Not naturally gorgeous because of their bone structure with out props, and without MODEL AND SUPER in front of it. That is YOUR FOCUS AND YOUR UNHEALTHY DETERMINATION TO CONSISTENTLY POINT OUT…yet again, you are in a very, very small margin of people on the thread of comments , maybe the only one who speaks of models as the beauty!

Girl, you need to spend less time looking at PEOPLE, STAR MAG AND TAbloid, and THE MEDIA to get your source of whats really real.

You spend too much time looking at fake things to get your cue. Trust me! No one sees your point! If you keep point such things out! And your lost on what everyone is speaking of.

Real beauty – spend more time looking outside your box…instead of what the world wants you to believe. Yes, today’s models are quite unique and unusual to the past of super beauty that use to be… from what is really too beautiful.

American editors and magazines rather not use truly beautiful any more. But the Europeans; The French, Swedish and others dont fear. American editors claim American’s can’t relate.bull! I rather! Most of the model look plain and odd with out the dress up. But that’s me…i can say, there are a few that are stunning; hence, super status!

But what you may consider beauty may only consist in your own culture and you dont want to admit you may find others truly striking, or until others identify with your vision of what you deem as beauty!? Which is you!

This is where ” TO EACH IS OWN” comes in. I can see beauty is in many and all cultures and race and sex and ages…example and picking from your source of venue.the media….
*Selma Hayek: Damn she stunning and brilliant! I would look twice.
*Daniel Henney: stunning korean actor.simply devine.
*keyna Moore: she may be Pretty crazy, but brillant enough to know her power and making money with it.
*Lesley M.Blume: truly the most ELEGANT AND SEXIEST SUPER MODEL TO WALK THE EARTH. knows how to work natural beauty ! No work down!
*Michelle pfeiffer: i dont care what work she has had done! SHE STILL HAS HER OWN FACE! So she’s as real as it gets
*Jessica white and Arlenis Sosa and Liya kebebe. Noted names are all natural models.success and beautiful. No work done on them. Healthy and curvy!
* Sonam Kapoor. Gorgeous.simply a beauty!
*and any white model in major beauty campaign. Truly do deserve them. They are the real beauties. They pick girls with great bone structure. Blame the French. They love sexy things! BELIEVE IT AND HAVE NO HATE! They are very pretty! They need more variety in races! If you ask me. Very bias otherwise.other people exsist, too.
*Rodrigo Santoro: goregeous brazilian actor.
*Gwen stephane. Lovely creature. Brillant artist

And the list goes on.truly it depends on your views. This list is of people who can CUT , SHAVE , WEAR NO MAKEUP AND STILL ROCK GORGEOUS BECAUSE OF THEIR NATURAL BONE STRUCTURE. YOUR EYES CAN SEE THEM COMING FROM A DISTANCE. When that happens you want a closer look.its Like look at a unique illusion. They are naturally sexy! Period!

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American
Wednesday, December 26/2012 at 11:10 pm

She shouldn’t have used herself as an example but her argument still stands.

Beautiful women have their own problems too.

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ITNJ
Friday, December 28/2012 at 3:06 am

I’m going to tell you what I have seen or observed in my whole life. I’m now 31 year old. However, Brick is an average woman when it comes to beauty. She is really fine. If I compare her to pretty women who I have seen/met, she is not pretty as them. Perhaps, women who she thought were jealous of her, were may be less prettier than her. Or she has a crazy friend in her mind. On the other hand, I don’t think that all of her friends were crazy or jealousy over her.

I had a professor, who was a super hot and pretty woman. Her eyes were so beautiful and she had a good body form. I’m not exaggerating it. If you’d like to see her, you can email me. She never wear any make up… She was really a beautiful woman I ever seen. Still, some students(minorities) would immediately jumping into a conclusion that our professor had a large chip in her shoulder. I couldn’t relate to their mentality, as I did well in her math class and I’m a minority too. These students who accused our professor being a racist wouldn’t be a fact. I passed her class with an A even though I couldn’t type a correct grammar.

Second female I saw, was my colleague. She was also a stunning beautiful lady. Very pretty young lady who didn’t wear any make up at all.

My friends are mixed of pretty and average people. One of them disconnected her friendship with me, and other specific women we acquainted with. She thought that I/we was/were going to steal her husband. I couldn’t wrap my head around thinking about it. I didn’t know why she accused me right in my face when I didn’t even meet her spouse. I thought that she was joking, or kidding. She knows that I married a man who is highly educated, tall and husky, handsome, funny, and highly intelligent. He totally stomped her husband physically and occupationally-Probably, I’m biased on this. In my eyes, my husband is way up there compared to a midget guy. I don’t hate him. The girls told me so. They thought it was hilarious when they found out what had happened.
To cut a long story short, my husband wondered why I’m not with that lady anymore. I told him that she went crazy on me for no good reason. O_0 He thought that she had a problem psychologically.

Flowers, dinners, and drinks? I got them all. I never thought that they had something to do with my beauty. I thought that those men just want to unzip my pants. Wink*wink* Again, this is another phenomenon. Let’s move on to the next paragraph.

Perhaps, I should inflate my ego because of such nice things happened in my life. I don’t think that people steal my husband…Haha.. Go ahead and have my husband and I will find out if he will be mine.

I don’t talk about drinks, flowers, and dinners around my friends. I think that it’s unnecessary unless they will ask me.

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Mary
Sunday, January 6/2013 at 8:17 am

dear author, thank you for the candid info you spilled on super-lonely supermodels, you would not believe how kind of you that was

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pretty crazy
Wednesday, July 10/2013 at 4:02 am

Now…. you just read jealous and green with envy.deal honey!

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monica denise
Tuesday, January 8/2013 at 1:34 pm

I have been a good person, nice to female friends that were unattractive. I have modeled and done some acting gigs, however; in the past a secretary. Yet, so much energy to prove my intelligence. It is only negative feedback from women that feel threated by me. Its best to back away from negative people. I just hung out with an old female friend, was uplifting, cooked for her. Very supportive, yet she was constantly giving me put downs and even if she is a mess, overweight, unattractive she kept saying how beautiful she is. The minute i got sick of her putting me down. She was hurt. I said im beautiful. I dont have to chase men on dating sites like she does. So my point is. I will only hang arround attractive intelligent women and stay away from unattractive overweight women. That try to bring me down. There is no more to prove, nothing left but to avoid drama.

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Maria
Thursday, January 10/2013 at 1:06 pm

not all thin women are attractive and not all overweight women are ugly from the face. Someone can be a little overweight and have stunning looking face, and there could be a fit women and have a butt ugly face. lol.

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Sexy_lady
Friday, January 11/2013 at 12:30 am

Not all unattractive women are fat and ugly. It comes in all shapes.

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Sexy_lady
Friday, January 11/2013 at 12:35 am

When I’m in good mood, everybody is pretty and handsome! When I have a shitty day, everybody is ugly!

So, your beauty depends on my mood.

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Maria
Friday, January 11/2013 at 1:52 pm

that is what I mean. Seams like you didn’t read my response correctly. Alot of people here, thinks that being thin equals beauty. When I have seen curvy women, and overweight women with stunning features.

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 8:53 am

GORGINA TO THE NINE!
Christina Hendricks, Beyounce, Jennifer Hudson…all natural and stunning beauties!…start listing your picks so people can see your point, maria! Otherwise, you come off as preachy and reaching. Make a better point of your crasp comments.

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 8:41 am

Your comment does read a bit snarky and conceited and unfeeling, regardless of your compliments to your friend – that you cooked for.

So she said she was pretty and she’s herself referred as attractive. Yes! She is and she don’t need you to put her down to make yourself feel better; and yes! you are truly right for telling her not to but you down either…but bashing her in the way you didn’t doesn’t seem kind.

Two wrongs dont make anyone right!

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Cassandra
Wednesday, January 9/2013 at 12:01 pm

Lets all be honest. The blonde lady above is really ugly. I have a models face and proportions that girls would kill for. Yes, 100% women treat me poorly because I am always the prettiest girl. Whenever I enter a room everyone stares then the ugly stares begin. Now I dress like a lady and act like one too. It is not until I introduce myself and make a strong point that I have a boyfriend are women nice. Its even worse if I am at the beach. Women will walk clear around me as to not be near me. When I make an unattractive friend she dwells on her looks way too much and I have to constantly remind her beauty comes from the inside. Point is, women are insecure around attractive women. However men are the same. Most men are way to scared to conversate with me or talk to me and if they do they shut down and start stuttering. Being pretty does nothing for you, I would say it does the opposite. People judge me, are rude, mean and not polite. The only kind people are people that are not jealous and those are girls who are attractive as well. So if you wonder why a pretty girl doesnt want to socialize with you its probably because she doesnt want to have people be mean to her for no reason. Im pretty, Im nice and Im kind and if you were unattractive I wouldnt care. I dont judge people by their looks on how they might behave. Dont be insecure, everyone is the same and even if a girl is gorgeous and your not there is probably one thing about you that she would be jealous about (whether its your skin tone, eyelash length or your freckles). All that matters is your personality. Remember that.

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monica denise
Wednesday, January 9/2013 at 1:55 pm

this is very true. i have the same problem. Its best to try to ignore negative people, and shake it off like a grain of salt. Life is too short.

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maria
Wednesday, January 9/2013 at 2:58 pm

Aand what exactly is a models face ? Now adays models have different looks. You sound very conceided and think everybody wants you. Not everyone is attracted to the same look.

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 9:07 am

Sorry! But you’re not making your points any better by seeming like a jealous woman on the hunt for anyone who complements themself LIKE YOU DID IN OUR ORIGINAL COMMENT!

Stop looking through these comments so you can put down anyone…some type of growth needs to be had by you ,maria!! Enough of your mind set , please!

You read angry and quite jealous hearted!

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Maria
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 9:31 am

And why are you looking through all my old post. It is true, not everyone finds the same looks attractive. Some people can find me average, good looking, hot or stunning, not everyone is going to have the same opinion. And just because someone is on TV does not automatically make them better looking than people that are not on TV. I actually find non famous women more attractive, at least they don’t have fake tans, fake books, fake hair, fake, fake, fake. Men are brain to think that artificial beauty is better than natural beauty.

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pretty crazy
Thursday, July 11/2013 at 4:08 am

I! havent had any work done, EVER! THERE ARE MANY THINGS ON ME THAT I WOULD FIX IF I WAS TRULY UNHAPPY WITH MY LOOKS, but yet! I havent. And i have the chance to work in a field most dont! Not trying to brag! Just trying to let you know NOT ALL IN THE MEDIA IS SPORTING FAKE, everything!

GIRL, WHO HURT YOU TO THE CORE!? Your comments are very resentful and much pissed at the wrong people ,and in the wrong direction, I might add. The media and the people behind it give the world what YOU deem Fake , fake, fake! And what every guy is focused on or whatever is the new black! Well, blame the stupid guy that wants that! And / or dont hang with morons! Really! Common sense there!

And , as for READING THROUGH YOUR OLD POST…dear, i just like to read ….I READ THROUGH ALL THE COMMENTS – if you were bold enough and patience,which YOU SHOULD HAVE Done , TOO! ….Truly! i would like to understand what people are referring to when getting into any subject. Its part of being a good listener! LEARNING TO CONNECT AND UNDERSTAND OTHERS! Than just thumping through what looks good at the moment. Thats not how you get the right facts. Like i said , THAT WOULD BE the time to understand what people are speaking of ( commenting- writting about) and i think you’ ll understand better and not just take someone else or your own (tunnel vision thoughts) word for it. KNOWLEGDE IS KEY!

Whatever is going on in your dating life (Is none if my business! Yes!)tIt’s seemingly upsetting you! I cant image, but I can try to understand – FEMALE TO FEMALE! Why did I write this…well,you referr to men’s preference a lot and the media, of cousre. These things shouldn’t be your bible for a good life! If you feel as good as you say about yourself, than focus on you, the right people will notice ,and f*** the rest…. but, Please! just stop bashing others. It says a lot about our core! Really, to each is own! Really! don’t knock others if you dont want them knocking you back!

Maria
Thursday, January 10/2013 at 10:09 am

You sound very conceided and that makes you very unattractive. And you say you have a models face, lol. Models just don’t have a certain type of face, now they come in different colors and sizes, plus I find plus size models way more attractive and sexier. Curves are sexy, skinny is not. being skinny with big fake boobs is not being curvy. I bet you have a fake tan.

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Sexy_lady
Friday, January 11/2013 at 12:42 am

Maria,

What if a person has an eating disorder, not from body image issues.

You have a problem with skinny people? How many skinny people in your neighborhood, or workplaces? They bother you a lot? You’re an expert on boobies? What do you know about them being skinny?

The study revealed that many women suffered from eating disorder whether fat or skinny.

Do you know what is an eating disorder? Do you think that it’s a joke?

Shame on you!

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Maria
Friday, January 11/2013 at 1:54 pm

I am not against thin people. I am against women that think because they are a size 0 they are better looking than everyone. When In reality men are more attracted to curvier body forms.

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Maria
Thursday, January 10/2013 at 8:23 pm

I was born with a natural tan complextion, that people pay to have, and I don’t go bragging about how pale white are jealous of me. I don’t feel that pale people should be jealous of me. Girl that is all in your head, nobody is jealous of you. You sound very insecure and intimidated by your own looks.

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Sexy_lady
Friday, January 11/2013 at 1:05 am

Being born from white, tan, or whatever doesn’t make you exceptional. Take an advanced biology class, so you get to know who are the people you’re bashing.

Get over with your twisted perception.

Don’t you realize it that we are fighting over silly things who is attractive whether chubby or skinny.

Guess what. There are about 7 billions of people in this Earth and you will never win your case.

We all have different

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Maria
Friday, January 11/2013 at 1:57 pm

That wasn’t my point. I dont feel better than anyone else about my complextion. But alot of women here do, saying that women are jealous of them because of there looks. I am 34D Natural, have hips and a round booty, dark hair and eyes. And I don’t feel I have to put other women down because of it.

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 10:11 am

@ Maria,But you say you dont have to, but that’s all you have done, in every one of your comments, then you gloat!

Plus, if I remember, you went from 36D’s to 34D…really,spending more time bashing others and comparing your body to others screams more that you have image issues about yourself.

If you spent more time writing about how fabulous you look and feel I would not blink an eye. I can understand and see your point-even with your hard tone comments, to some degree..but, very little at this point! Beauty is in all forms. But i would recommend you spend more time looking from within… If your comments were about how women and men spent their time harrassing you about how confident you felt . That would be really nice.

But your main Focus is TALL, THIN, WHITE, AND people claiming to be PRETTY. The Media has rammed that at you in a way which you clearly are angry. I understand! Totally!

I had a handsome latin from from Venezuela, who told me once he wished he was white! I felt bad for him ( I FEEL BAD FOR HIS KIDS IF HE HAS SOME)that he didn’t feel complete about himself. He spent his days working at the top fashion houses in the world and his focus was wanting to be someone else.

Him needing to date the american dream girl to define his needs to be the right fit in the world… When in fact he needed to just own his power.because every one he introduced to me Loved him for him! And he only saw and madly focused on what others received better of.

But its not the fault of any one but the media and the idiots that believe only one race can rock gorgeous, but the way your comment won’t help people see your point. I’m not white and I feel you are beyond the extreme of bias and quite hateful. Who hurt you deep, girl!?
I have been around very pretty white girls and I can hold my own. I get a kick out of confident , gorgeous people when they complement one another,its great and humbling, if you ask me! Happy and pleasant CONFIDENCE, Isnt BRAGGING.
Its acceptance of ones self and being treated with harsh behavior for it is what others are pointing out.

So, I call Halle berry beautiful and she calls me just the same back…and you over hear and roller your eyes! Well, instead , she tells you that you are beautiful what do you do!? You diss her or take it and bass in the comp and say nothing back ,or smile and complement her like a lady? Really think about it, and be honest with yourself and not what you would say to prove your point in some harsh way. Be real to yourself first. I mean if the table was turned.shoe on the other foot kinda thing.

Really, your views are….Very concerning!

Deborah
Thursday, January 10/2013 at 3:51 pm

I don’t agree with a lot of the reasons men are attracted to a woman.
Here is some reasons….
I am constantly being hit on by men no matter how I dress.
I don’t usually smile much because I don’t want to appear easy to approach.
I don’t go to bars or clubs.
Other women are intimidated by my looks.
I’m not looking for a husband….I’ve been married since just out of High School.
My mom had the same problem as did my grandmother.
Some women have much appeal besides their looks.
It’s just a plus when you have a combination of many of these attributes. Of course, it can be a negative thing as well if you are disgusted by unwanted attention & glared at by insecure females.
Who needs them anyway? True friends care for you no matter what your appearance is.
Always hold your head high!!…….you should never feel bad for looking good. Just act like the lady you are. Men are actually turned-off by women who are constantly putting others down…..VERY UNATTRACTIVE!!

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Maria
Thursday, January 10/2013 at 8:03 pm

And just because you say you are attractive, does not mean that the whole world finds you attractive. Beauty is subjective not everybody finds the same things hot or attractive. What I might find hot and sexy, you might find average and plain and vice versa.

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Comment Avatar Michelle Villett
Thursday, January 10/2013 at 8:07 pm

Maria, I’ve removed your latest comment as we need to keep things civil. It’s okay to disagree with other commenters but I can’t publish insults.

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Melinda
Tuesday, January 15/2013 at 3:47 pm

But, Maria…you’ve just proved her point. She didn’t say that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. She said that men hit on her constantly and women are often mean to her. And yes, this happens to women who are deemed a “threat” in any way, whether it is because they are good-looking or something else. Maybe there is just something about her that others are drawn to.

And I agree, Maria, that beauty is subjective…but like I said, you proved her point.

She is sharing her experiences and saying that everyone should be treated with respect, no matter what they look like. You felt the need to tell her this: “just because you say you are attractive, does not mean that the whole world finds you attractive”. Where did she say that the whole world finds her attractive? She was simply sharing her experience as a woman who is considered attractive (maybe where she lives) and what it’s like for her.

Pretty women should not be made to feel ashamed of who they are…neither should less attractive women. I can relate to what Deborah said because I’ve been in that situation many times. Being hit on by creepy men, receiving unwanted attention, harassment, stalking, and other women being very unkind because they see me as a “threat” for some apparent reason.

I’m not conceited in any way, but all of this has happened to me. I wouldn’t call myself gorgeous but I know I’m a very pretty woman and I look about 10 years younger than my actual age. I’ve been through a lot in my life because of other people’s ignorance and jealousy. So we’re not all making this up…it does happen.

What truly makes a person beautiful is who they are on the inside, the way they treat others and what’s in their heart/mind.

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FeatherDuster
Wednesday, January 16/2013 at 5:37 am

I was hoping this wouldn’t disintegrate into a bitch-slapping session. We are all here to support each other after all. As Melinda says, there is no need to feel threatened by each other since we all have something special to offer; we all have our own unique beauty. I think it’s fair to say all the posters to this thread are beautiful since you all came here… I’m hoping to start a support group online for this sort of thing. There are many more isolated beautiful women out there and they need a caring, listening ear. Please think about this, friends.

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Melinda
Thursday, January 17/2013 at 9:32 am

Thanks for your kind words, FeatherDuster…I completely agree. That is a lovely post.

It bothers me to see some women accusing others of being vain and conceited simply for stating that they are pretty. Are some beautiful women vain and conceited? Most definitely! But this doesn’t apply to all. And there is nothing wrong with looking/feeling beautiful as long as the inside is beautiful, too.

I’ve been on both sides of the fence. I’ve had times where I wasn’t so pretty and I’ve also had times where I was strikingly beautiful and other people let me know it, by their reactions. Above all, no matter what I look like, I try to treat others the way I want to be treated…with kindness and respect.

So what I believe is that, if one is good-looking, be proud of it…without treating others badly. And if one isn’t good-looking, be proud of who you are as well, and don’t be unkind or envious.

pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 10:30 am

Bravo!

Totally well said! Thank you!

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Maria
Sunday, January 20/2013 at 6:51 pm

I was wondering what kind of foundation women wear to achieve a perfect look. I see alot of women with such perfect make up, they look as if they have been photoshopped. Poreless, no blemishes, what kind of foundation they are wearing. Also, I can find a shade that matches my skin tone, even when I go to macy’s even they have a hard time, finding the right color for me…

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Ashlee
Thursday, February 14/2013 at 9:43 am

Merle Norman compact it’s thick put on with a round sponge. It comes in a black case and you have to go in the store to buy it. $34

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 10:40 am

You have to blend! Most beauty companies dont really think of darker shades of color, althou darker women are a major marketing market…ethnic women. They could be making 10x what they are already making.

Can’t teach the idiots anything. Its funny! Now,the Women they are trying to sell to are spending their time on trying to get away from using make up altogether.

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sandy
Tuesday, January 22/2013 at 10:26 am

It’s like you said, attractiveness is largely based on energy/attitude. So, no, I would not immediately assume she’s deluded, despite the fact that she’s not physically gorgeous.
And,besides, she’s probably talking about the experiences she’s had up to her life at this point, so you have to consider the fact that she was younger and prettier at some point..that being said, I don’t think beautiful women are automatically discriminated. A lot depends on that woman’s attitude.
I’ve known some really gorgeous women that I wasn’t the least bit threatened by, because they carried themselves with so much dignity that I was sure they weren’t the types to use men and manipulate themselves to a better position(at the job, or at any place in life..).
There are some women who, despite being beautiful, do not get so caught up in their self-image and really have other interests in life..they also generally act like they don’t care much about being gorgeous, in the first place. Which makes it easy for you to see their personality, and relate to them.

The “open, smiley” types are probably the ones that raise the most resentment from other women, not necessarily based on their physical assets, but their attitude. I’ve known quite a few, and they’re the types who are used to manipulating others(especially guys) to get what they want, they’re the types that lead men on to reach some objective, then drop them, they’re also less likely to be able to say “no” if a guy makes his moves. They’re “players”, so seem not to be trusted.
That being said, I’m afraid that women do resent other good-looking women, 90% of the time, and it’s mainly based on the way they’re raised, meaning, to believe that a woman’s worth is mainly based on her attractiveness, instead of “deeper” qualities.
It’s actually funny you mentioned the resume thing. I sent hundreds of resumes out, and the only two interviews I got called to were to companies where the human resources guy who canted me was, well..a guy.lol

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rahrah
Friday, March 15/2013 at 11:17 am

Not only do many beautiful women have other interests, but not all beautiful women have the easy lives many people assume they have. Some people go so far out of their way to take a beautiful woman and try to “knock her down a peg or two” because they assume she has an easy life and now needs a dose of reality and they will be the one to give it to her. Little do they know there are beautiful women who are fighting cancer, who might be addicted to drugs, who are poor as paupers, who are being physically abused and who are experiencing everything else in life that everybody else is. People are so quick to make assumptions about other people and yet have never said two words to them, but they know so much about them all based on what they look, as if that make any sense.

Personally I never understood jealousy and envy as it always seemed completely futile. No matter how beautiful a woman is, the fact is no matter how much someone hates her for being beautiful, she is still going to walk away from their exchange or encounter still being her incredibly beautiful self and they are going to still walk away looking how they look. It does me no good whatsoever to be catty and bitchy with a woman who works out 5 days a week and has a body that reflects her hard work while I sit on my butt and get bigger, there is no need for me to hate her, because it won’t help me in the least, but maybe getting up and working out myself might be the thing to help me, not hating her. Major sigh, when oh when will we women learn.

Another person’s victory is not your defeat.

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rahrah
Friday, March 15/2013 at 11:19 am

Meant “based on what they look like”

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 11:20 am

I honor you comment! Thank you!

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 6:55 pm

I HONOR YOUR COMMENT!

damn tablet! =)

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 11:16 am

I am a smiley person, NOT LOOKING TO PLAY ANYONE..JUST LOVE TO JOKE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GREAT TIME WHEN WITH GOOD PEOPLE, and when I work I take it seriously..yet, I get trashed!

I had a bear of a woman tell other women knew and that knew me well – that I was faking being pleasant and happy, which the women she was trying to convince that i was a PLAYER as you called it. She hated that I was always cheery and they had to tell her that it was my natural personality, and I hadden changed…this was affecting my job.this woman was trying to get me fired and instead out fired for her brutish attitude.
But at the time…
The girl she befriended went to college with me…. So tell me that being nicer than expected is really a fake attitude!?

Not everyone is trying something.i just love to be open without negative kind of judgement that comes with being a complete person..whatever that means for whomever.

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Bah
Thursday, March 14/2013 at 11:26 am

Yes, pretty women do have to deal with hatred of some form or the other. It’s not narcissistic to admit to it but I know that I can never talk to any of my friends about it. The only one I’ve discussed this with is my dad, who was a very good-looking man in his youth and he told me that men used to lie about him to women who’d ask about him. I’ve lost most of my friends recently because earlier I used to dress down and let myself be the butt of all jokes in social situations. Privately, my friends would talk to me about their insecurities with their looks so I used to let them joke about me in public, thinking it’s just their way of getting some attention. But then I realized that they were passing off their jokes as the truth behind my back and saying other nasty stuff about me to men who showed an interest in me. So I started cracking jokes back and dressing up when we went out. I noticed that my friends would wait for me to dress up and then dress accordingly. Earlier thered be a fight to use the bathroom first, but after this, theyd pester me to go get ready first. Andsoon I was told that I had changed..for the worse. I don’t hang with them anymore.
Also, I noticed that if a woman’s bf/hubby said I looked nice it would be followed by immediate character assassination. Now I mostly stay away from women snd ignore them. But once in a while some male friend of mine will point out sn unknoen scowling female staring daggers at me while I’m shopping or just hanging out.
Sadly, I think I starting to hate women.

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 9:43 pm

Here, here!

An old friend called me jaded after hearing all the mess hateful women and some men bring me! Funny, considering , she was secretly harassing one of our best bud – like a bug. Picking at sweet girl when no one was around. Found out and made her stop , or else! The so the men girl corrected her ways. She a better friend now.

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Bah
Friday, August 30/2013 at 6:56 pm

Lucky you. Most of my friends were so used to my doormat behaviour, they couldn’t cope with a more confident and out spoken me. The really sad part is that I had such major family problems and was often depressed but none of them were supportive towards me because they were constantly worried about male attention. And like an ass, I was supportive of that shallow a problem.
I just started work in a new office 3 months ago and the department head keeps giving me amused looks when I talk to her privately. She’s sweet as sugar if anyone else is around. And I do about 70% of all the work despite being a newbie. She screamed at her husband on the phone because he kept calling on the landline (which I pick up) rather than her mobile, so when he rang up after work one day and gave me his number to send him the numbers of other colleagues for a party he wanted to throw her, I texted colleagues his number instead. I wasnt invited. Silly woman. If I can’t stand her in office, I’d hardly go to her party if invited anyway. And her insecurities would have been less obvious to others.

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Malena Querida
Monday, March 25/2013 at 5:52 pm

While I am not a knockout and am terribly UN-photogenic, I get a lot of flack from my female counterparts in my social circle. The husbands always try to be more charming to me than they are to their wives. I don’t find it flattering at all.

In public spaces, I seem to get a lot of attention as well. Without bothering to find out if I’m married, I have had men buy a round of drinks for me and my friends for the chance to talk to me.

I’ve got a bit of a stress paunch and find it hard to find a good fit in pants because of it. So, I live in modest, casual dresses, many of which these women claim are dressy. Even in a t-shirt and jeans, I can’t win for losing.

The thing that was most interesting to find was a movie called “Malena” with her as the lead and guess what the recurrent theme was? Being coveted by men and envied by women, to the point of being raped, exploited, and reviled. Only when she dressed in drab clothing did she get redemption.

rahrah hit the nail on the head! If you are a beautiful woman with children, it’s worse. If they can’t take their envy out on you, they’ll do it through the kids.

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HerDaughter
Sunday, May 12/2013 at 8:46 pm

I’d like to respond to Malena’s points above. First of all, I also don’t like it when men are really overly charming to me. It immediately drives a divide between me and their women, permanently. I’m made to feel like I’ve done something wrong, even if I’m dressed demurely. I even point blank asked a woman once what I had done to make her act so mean towards me and she simply answered, “You were born.” So now I stay home and don’t go out at all and I even refuse to work in office settings anymore which has cut down my job prospects. (If there was a pension for hot chicks, I’d be on it).

Secondly, I think it’s sad, but men seem to think if you have curves in the right places and you wear anything but nun’s clothing, that you’re promiscuous and/or a bimbo. Breasts = bimbo it sometimes feels. It’s annoying when I walk into a supermarket and there’s this girl coming out of there who’s younger and thinner than me, with a face to die for, yet she gives ME a dirty look just because I happen to be more endowed than her. I feel bad enough about my looks and to have someone I envy being envious of me just seems ridiculous! Why can’t we all appreciate our unique gifts? There is a man/woman out there for all of us. Someone who will like what we’ve got to offer.

Finally, I wanted to comment on this movie you mention, Malena, because I have watched it and cried so much for what this poor woman had to suffer. The dramatic irony of it hits me with more ugly force as I get older and people become less compassionate and tolerant. I think I escaped the worst of it when I was young because nobody feels good harassing someone who might be underage. But it sucks to be stuck in a world where you’re not hot enough to make a living by modelling and not plain enough to fit into the working world of women who really run the whole show in my opinion.

Sorry if this post is too long. Feels great to get this off my chest! :-(

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Malena Querida
Wednesday, May 15/2013 at 7:39 pm

HerDaughter, not long at all.

This set of lines hit home for me, “The dramatic irony of it hits me with more ugly force as I get older and people become less compassionate and tolerant. I think I escaped the worst of it when I was young because nobody feels good harassing someone who might be underage. ”

When I was a little girl and even as a middle schooler, I was praised for my beauty and talent. Women couldn’t get enough of me and delighted in everything I did. “How cute!” “What a smart girl!” “Precious!” They couldn’t pump me up enough.

As I reached high school, older women would often make snide remarks or try to downgrade my looks or talent to keep me in my place. Who knows what that place was.

In bars, which I have only frequented for business events, I have had women purposefully pour drinks down my back, elbow me in the gut, or otherwise, try to get me riled up. I have practiced a very wide-eyed innocent look, quipped, “Oh, my, that was quite a shock!” If elbowed, I rubbed their elbow and ask, “Are you okay? That was a pretty hard hit.”

The two girls (only maturity warrants the label of women in my book) who poured drinks on my back thought it was funny. In one instance, the male friend asked if I was okay. I laughed and said, “Oh, yeah, it was refreshing!”

In the other instance, which was the first time, I did not really know what to do.

HerDaughter, I don’t know what makes these women think it is okay to be so rude but I once asked a woman what I had done to offend her and she said, “You exist.”

I hear you on the weird envy from younger women. I’m close to 50 and a 20 year old tried to pick a fight with me because the man she was with was ogling me and I only found out because she made me aware of it.

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pretty crazy
Wednesday, July 10/2013 at 5:28 am

From one women ( who has gone through those very issues you noted) to another! Stop being sweetly to those NEANDERTHAL TROLLS. I only say this because I have done the very thing you’ve done to dispel such behavior, which to make them realize YOU DIDN’T HARM ME…it shows to others, you come across as a true lady, but to those demons They are trash and won’t get the gest of the message. Sad, but true!

I love the comments ” YOU EXIST ” and ” YOU WERE BORN”. Priceless comments. Please, next time reply back with- ” Well, that sucks for you! And give a dirty grin back! And walk OUT THE DOOR and quick! Please! I can’t stress doing that until you are ready to leave the spot! Or you are asking for a fight if you stand and wait for anything! Give women time to let what you said sink in! No! A quick jab, dear!only fair, considering the several she kept giving you!
It works and I’ll continue to do it if you continue to disrespect me for your weird insecurities!

And regarding your comment about the women praising you as a child, well it was just that. They saw you as their child. You notice how people will mother
Other peoples kids…but as soon as your looks kick in…watch out, men notice you, or attention has swayed in your direction, you are old enough to fight your own battles they figure.

and known fact, if your mother was a attention getter and was use to the praise from others ,and has just one girl, really watch out. Especially when people praise that girl with the sexual attention. A lingering look , a comment about how she have grown..it all means something to a knowing adult, unfortunately.but not to an unsure child. They dont know unless its explained.and now the mother just gets a regular old comp comment, like a OH, YEAH, YOU’RE STILL HERE, motherly one.

Most people giving the comps have tunnel vision and lack empathy…. The relationship may suffer some how. Everything is a fight , and the mom may come off making girl look off and silly when ever around each other! Its just their insecurity setting back in. 360 circle of lifes emotional spin for some. And that can Keep them all down! So the more you try to make them happy, they find faults…but will tell people they love their kid. In truth is the mean girls taking shoots because YOU SHINE OVER THEM!

Too much has happened to me, and I fear having kids because of the cruelty people have no problem giving…girls fighting over stupid issues; even if its possible that my kids need to worry about the very thing this article is about…I dont fear doing anything but loving them when it comes to me…but I fear what would i do to protect them from this nasty , cruel cycle? And for the boys- will they be so cruel to follow what history that has been repeated so many times?
It’s important to prepare people for any and everything and dont expect things to just work out!

Its all sad!

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HerDaughter
Thursday, December 5/2013 at 10:25 pm

Geez Malena, that is simply horrible! Pouring their drinks down your back?!? Those bitches! They must have been high or on their 20th drink or something; no sane person would act like that, jealous or not. And you, I’m thinking you must be a saint to respond in such an angelic way. I’m sure that guy felt majorly sorry for you and probably wished in his heart he could give them both a good beating.

Your post has inspired me to try to be a better person. My tendency is to get angry and aggressive when somebody attacks me. It’s a sign of immaturity I’m trying to overcome. Maybe you should write a book. A lot of people could benefit by being taught a lesson in goodness and grace.

People like you are rare in this world; those who are beautiful inside as well as out. I’ve come across so many chicks who are seriously hot but their personality stinks. It makes them look ugly when you get to know them. But women who have a beautiful face with a good heart to match are as rare as hen’s teeth. They’re the Snow Whites of this world, the ones evil women are always trying to destroy because they refuse to bow to evil and lower themselves to the same depraved level. People complain, “Fairytale princesses are always beautiful and witches are always ugly!” but I note that Snow White’s step-mother was the most beautiful woman in the land… until her vanity grew so much that it overshadowed her beauty, and that’s when her mirror put her second. Had she cultivated a good heart, she would have continued to be the fairest in the land. True beauty really IS within! This is something it has taken me years to learn but it is a gem of a lesson and worth all the time it took to understand. :-)

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pretty crazy
Wednesday, July 10/2013 at 12:57 am

I am movie lover and I have never heard about MALENA!.thank you… I mentioned NATURAL , REALLY NATURAL stunning beauties and forgot the lovely Monica Belluci. She is breath taking…there are a hand full of others, women who are far more talented in their field of work- in all types of entertainment that you forget about just because they never work them, they are too GORGEOUS!

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 9/2013 at 10:02 pm

Exactly!

EVIL – HATEFUL People look to any excuse to channel their anger for you through your family , and your off spring(s).
And , as for you!….you are pestered the way you’ve explained because your character is brilliant and fun. Looks aren’t everything…people win on personality and clever banter! Sounds like you are the total package.
Work it, love! Just keep it smart and respectful like you have been. The universe is looking out…screw the idiots who can deal. Maybe they need to step up their game

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Ronnette Bostick
Wednesday, June 19/2013 at 9:53 am

I believe the Samantha Brick is a great looking woman for her age and most likely has a awesome personality and a great outlook on life. I wish I could be more like her, I catch myself walking around looking worried or concerned to much ,I also see a lots of other women doing this it makes you look tired and as if you are frowning and has much to do with everyday life. Women in general tend to worry more than men and it shows in there faces and actions. We should pray for more peace of mind and check in the mirror to make sure we are wearing a smile!!!

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pretty crazy
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 6:35 am

Brilliant play on this subject! It lead to a wonderful thread of comments! I see brighter! Now more than ever!

Thank you! Michelle

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Julie Clarity
Sunday, July 7/2013 at 9:46 am

I think the experience of ostracized immediately by other females because of one’s genetically blessings results in finely formed facial features (at least within a cultural definition) without ever doing anything more than walking into a room and smiling and trying to be social really cannot be understood unless someone actually goes through it on a regular basis.

I have. I actually endured such ostracizing for about 2.5 years so my kid could be properly socialized at a playtime. My kid was treated kindly, but, I was given the cold shoulder by the other women setting very bad examples for their children. I talk to everyone, I am equally polite to all, and, I actually do have really great friends, so, I knew the problem wasn’t me. I have face to face customer service skills, and, even these were insufficient to break through the reserve of these women (the dads and I get along great, of course). It was still very difficult to go through, and, at one point, I asked the playtime moderator…”Is something wrong with me that even the mom’s my age will not look at me or talk to me even though I am trying to be friendly?” However, I’ve had many similar experiences, and, that is why I eventually chose Truck Driving as my profession. My personality fits right in.

I have no perfect looks to brag about, what I see in the mirror looking back at me is, to me, ugly. I was raised to consider myself ugly, and, a parent and grandparent took great joy in belittling my looks and body over very long periods of time. I didn’t know what they were doing to me, but, I deal with my self perceived ugliness all of the time and spend lots of time cognitively putting down my demon Body & Face Dysmorphia. So, I always felt I had to overcompensate for being so ugly, but, perhaps that is why I am considered attractive by other people?

My conclusion is: People will see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear when a culturally agreed upon attractive female walks into the room. It is unfortunate so many of us considered attractive are made to suffer, immediately, without even opening our mouths by others who must project their nastiness on those they consider more attractive than themselves.

And, I’ve seen many an attractive female make herself immediately ugly in my eyes because she could not treat me like a human. So, consider that.

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Katie
Wednesday, July 17/2013 at 11:35 am

If you are beautiful, you better have the confidence and social skills to go with it. If not, those women WILL pry, pick and attack. Not all those women you listed were beautiful, infact some were just silly. There are two types of women who think they are beautiful, those who really are and get hated on, and those who inspire hate and are not that beautiful but wish they were. Its those who are truly beautiful that get the brunt of the bad end of the deal. Women are viscious and want what other women have. If you dont know this by now, then you are not living on this planet. It seems your blog is alittle biased, downplaying and denying this goes on. I wouldnt exactly call the women you used in this blog beautiful either, Im talking about really beautiful women who put up with jealousy, envy and down right dirty behavior from other women. Yes it goes on, every damn day…and you cant speak for them unless you are one of them. Keep the blog about things you know about for now on, okay?

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pretty crazy
Thursday, July 18/2013 at 12:15 am

@ katie,Who is this comment directed to? It’s confusing what you may be referring to if your comment isn’t linked to any other comment….it appears you are speaking to the author of the article?

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pretty crazy
Thursday, July 18/2013 at 1:52 am

And Also @ KATIE, if you were referring to the comments about the celebs mentioned …than note this- silly or not the list maybe to you – please understand this, the THREAD OF COMMENTS THAT PROMPTED THE PEOPLE LISTED WAS BASED regarding FIRST APPEARANCES – PHYSICAL DESIGN, which people notice on site when seen — WHICH IS LOOKS, NOT CHARACTER. What I wanted the person I was writting to understand was, WE ALL SEE BEAUTY DIFFERENTLY, AND FACTORING CHARACTER ADDS A PLUS, but can be measured as more trouble when they are stunning. Not everyone in media is beautiful, even if they are deemed it.

What you deem as a beauty may not be to others. You may see yourself in the people you beem as beauties, so we relate differently. I am not looking to compare to any one. I see beyond color, sex, and age. I just focus on what i cant turn away from.some peoples beauty is captivating and spellbound.so, I have to wonder …
Where they are from?… for the norm, average beauties we see in everyday media and such..well, Some people beauty can be typical and common and they fade fast to the eye that is looking.we have seen the same looks over and over. It can get boring! Something new for the eye shocks peoples senses! That’s a good thing , and I invite new beauty. Yes! Classic beauty is a staple- but they need to be legendary like,so, the people we deem as such! They earned it! $hit , if you’re better than them, than bring it!? And I sincerely welcome your stunning structure! Yes! People will fawn over something that they can’t place their finger on! Are you that?

But, for the momented few before, You can quess it, but, they are still pretty.but for those who are a breed or a unique mix of wonderful structure, or has grown into their beauty..well, they got my attention… I see a lot of women as Resse Wetherspoon as basic and odd looking, and her attitude is quite arrogant and snobby – she has been hyped in the wrong direction..and she makes her look unattractive ; but Charlize Theron is simply Stunning, but her arrogances ( when the media reveals her real tone of voice- inner thinking and weird self arrogance) is also ugly, but I dont doubt her allure. She is a looker!

The person I was commenting towards was looking at the media, and focusing on a particular brand of beauty just based in MEDIA, which isn’t healthy! Just because whatever list someone wrote here doesnt mean you have the right one, either! The point everyone is trying to make THERE ISN’T ONE and PEOPLE SEEM TO BE DRAWN TO WHAT IS THE BIGGEST DRAW! And jealousy or envy attracts it!

. I THINK YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR OWN ADVISE BEFORE MAKING ANY COMMENTS ….AND TAKING A CUE TO READ SOMEONE ELSE like your word is the last!

You obviously , didn’t read all the commets, or understand them! Shameful!

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Jess
Saturday, July 20/2013 at 12:42 am

jealousy is not about the “greatness” of object of the envy. It is about the insecurity of the person feeling the jealousy.

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pretty crazy
Tuesday, July 23/2013 at 2:03 am

I TOTALLY AGREE! But what is puzzling to the person experiencing such behavior from the INSECURE / ENVIOUS person(s)..whatever that may be ; Whether its gossip, mean bullying, physhcal altercations..etc.it’s still is a strong indication when a person WHO IS BEING TREATED WITH Shameful INJUSTICE with their ATTITUDE AND BEHAVOIR , that bullied person inquires why the abusive turn; or maybe they never have to ask because the person(s) leaves enough nasty verbal words in passing,and/or followed by harassing you with harsh words DIRECTLY, which pertains to the person..IT’S HARD NOT TO SEE JEALOUSLY AND SOME SORT OF DEEP ROOTED INSERCUTITY ( “WHY YOU, NOT ME! YU THINK YOU’EE SPECIAL, OR YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER”).. I have had those very words said to me..and I was raised to treat everyone the way I want to be treated…SO I LIVE BY BEING KIND AS I CAN (maybe too much..people think i am a Bank. And I LOVE TO GIVE when its appropriate..I ENJOY LAUGHTER AND SEEING PEOPLE SMILE , but there are nasty , greedy people out there, and the seek out people to hate and prey on. This crap has taken great form because they are coming directly at YOU… but, it can’t Always be the person’s who is recieving such treatment as the root of that person’s issue, or making them relive issues THEY FACE!

I was taught to live with what you’ve got, and make it work! Some amazing people have done so much with very little in life…how is it that these people can’t do the same? Security in one’s self comes from a deeper love for yourself and knowing how it makes you whole. WHAT IS ATTRACTIVE IS A PERSONS INNER BEAUTY THATS WHAT MAKES THEM SO BRILLIANT , WHICH OTHERS HATE. A proven fact, what you feel on the inside is what you look like on the outside..that goes for the positive and the arrogant negative people.life can be beautiful if you feel good about YOU! Its sad that the media and society make it worse!

Being attractive, younger, clever, talented – which others may take note as a competive challenge – in the worst way,or whatever that may be REALLY…WHENEVER ANYONE CHOOSES TO PICK ON ANOTHER IS FEELING BECAUSE THEY CAN’T COMPETE WITH WHAT THEY DEEM “GREATNESS” or BETTER THAN THEY FEEL ABOUT THEMSELVES.. TRULY , ISN’T FAIR TO ANYONE THAT ISN’T BEING INTENTIALLY ARROGANT OR RUDE , AND NARCISSISTIC ABOUT Whatever ” GREATNESS” SOMEONE SEES IN WHOMEVER.

what most people deem as blessed …well, they seem to lose sight because of SOCIETY – we are all blessed! We were made different for a reason. Its horrible if a person hating on others feel something odd about themselves, and then take it out on someone they feel is a direct threat to their existence.

But I agree!

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Jane
Wednesday, July 31/2013 at 7:22 pm

I found your opinion and perspective very enlightening and I thought I would share something. My friend Christy is absolutely gorgeous and although she is actually a model, she doesn’t quite realize to what extent her beauty affects her life. Probably the most insecure person I have ever met, she is a perfectionist and is constantly trying to improve her self image, whether its for a job or for her daily life. 19 and never had a boyfriend, she is very lonely and is constantly pointing out how grateful our friend Veronica should be because Veronica always has men all over her. The thing is, if men got to know Christy they would probably fall head over heels for her, but she is a shy girl and clearly, very unapproachable. Incidentally, Veronica is very average looking, you probably wouldn’t look twice at her walking down the street, but she gets to know guys on a friend level, and that is how they fall for her, they become comfortable around her, therefore she is herself around them and they feel secure and confident.

Both V and I know how intimidating Christy can come across as, with beautiful long silky rich brown hair, big brown eyes with gold streaks in them, perfect brows, thick eyelashes, LEGS FOR DAYS to go with her perfectly toned abs and ass, anywhere we go, head’s turn, and she won’t do anything, she will just stand there…. silent(what looked like, taking it all in…)! Before we were friends we always thought she was incredibly confident and quite aware of her beauty, because of course… she is a model and what I just described to you (keep in mind, this happens on a daily basis). However, now we know her, and now we recognize that for her, those moments of just standing there, she was unaware of it, and if she was aware.. it was her version of stage fright. (Psh.. i would take that any day). But Christy is constantly talking about how she hates her face and when V and I roll our eyes and get mad at her for saying such things she says “If im so beautiful… then how come I have never been asked out or on a date?!”

So my conclusion is that beauty has its pros and cons… is being a head turner worth not being lonely? Also just a quick question, do you think that men will ever stop being intimidated by Christy or that she will ever get the same treatment as Veronica? (and if you say maybe if she opens up or becomes more outgoing, then you should know that having asked guy friends of mine that if she were more outgoing or such, they still say that it doesn’t change how intimidating she is)

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Taylor
Monday, July 29/2013 at 4:19 pm

If that is you in the picture below the article, can we not? You’re gorgeous, and if I had your gorgeous skin color and hair, I would totally be flaunting it.
Instead I’m stuck with brown hair.. brown eyes, boring mousy frizzy hair that can not be tamed. It’s a fucking mess.
Also, let’s not even get started on my weight or the size of the sausage hanging from my face that disguises itself as my nose.

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Sweet Potato Days
Monday, July 29/2013 at 5:51 pm

Wow, I stumbled across this article late.

Lol, Samantha Brick. I agree with a lot of the other people here who say she really isn’t all that (physically). I actually thought she looked older than her age. BUT if she plays it up for the guys and she does look very well put together, I’m sure some scenarios she experienced aren’t all that impossible.

I’m 21 and I would say I guess it’s still really hard for me to stop comparing myself with others. But I would say yes I have been jealous before of other girls and their beauty. I am only MOST jealous when I don’t wear any makeup. I’m a uni student so a lot of times I just skip the makeup and wear really casual clothes. I don’t really need makeup after cutting out dairy from my diet because my skin has gotten a lot better. People have told me I don’t need makeup or I look cute without it. But when I do see girls around me who have makeup on and look really pretty, not just “cute” I feel a tad bit jealous. :p I feel like I would need the extra mascara and eyeliner to stand out more. I think jealousy happens to the best of us.

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Debbie H
Saturday, September 7/2013 at 10:44 am

I posted here last Autumn and just found my way back to the page. Some very interesting points and experiences and nice supportive replies (thank you, I did email you back).
Well almost a year later for me. Things are really not much different and I know this is always going to be my life experience now. My mum talks to me about this and has said she’s been through it in life and that it never stops. She claims she still gets it now in her late Sixties, even if not as bad (I’ve seen my mother get evil eyes from other older women as she does look very youthful for her age).

I might of mentioned before that I’ve had continual experiences with women playing games or being political at work. I had a major bullying case with a female work colleague a few years back that I took as far as I could with the HR department, but they finally paid me off to leave the case ( I needed the money and didn’t want the stress) .
Sadly, I’ve come to expect it in every day life. Whether its going to shops and getting a bitchy cashier making snide references, or being cut off at job interviews whilst answering questions and not being allowed to finish (yes, unbelievable I can think of several times this has happened to me).
I know now that rationally after years of trying to convince my self or look for other reasons why I have generated so much hatred and discrimination, that its not some inner psychological trait with me (its easier for others to suggest this is the issue). It’s about female cultural politics and competition at work and over men. At work if you’re attractive and able and clever, no that’s not gonna be good! If on top of this, you meet women in a friend circle and you’re attractive, they’re always going to see you as a threat to their men or potential to get men’s attention and either keep you at a distance or exclude you or play games with you.

I am one of the least competitive people with others, I hate it and have felt a lot of negativity when women try and engage in all this with me; it makes me very unhappy and for the last three years has contributed to my depression.
I genuinely haven’t had one female friend since I left university.

I’m tired of the analysis and negativity and unhappiness this brings into my life. I don’t want to be another person. Why should I cut all my hair off, stop wearing make up and buying my self nice clothes or shoes? I do it as I enjoy it. Why should I not speak about topics I know about to not intimidate others? Why should I avoid women’s partners as I know it will make them insecure?
I am sick of bowing to others insecurities. I’ve tried many times, it makes no difference.

So finally, I think I’m making my own sense of this. I realise that I need to be alone in my self success at work. I’ve set up my own educational business in the UK. I’ve planned thoroughly and I feel I’ve found something that in a dying economy, is one of the few last areas of growth (its a fab idea and I’ve got the skills and experience to make it work). I still have to work in employment for a while it takes off to keep the cash flow into the business (the first year in business is always hard). So no doubt, more of these issues will arise, but then when it comes together, I make my own income, success, I employ my self and avoid all this. I will call the shots. I am excited at the prospect (although a bit scarey) and my husband is fully behind me.

I think other women with similar experiences need to start thinking about how they can carve out their own futures away from this issue. Being self employed or running your own business, is a thought?

Debbie

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maria
Sunday, September 8/2013 at 11:32 am

I don’t think that women are jealous. What I think is that ‘beautiful women’ think they can get ahead in life just because of there looks. I have noticed that these women think that everyone is attracted to their looks. Beauty is not a fact, it is subjective, what I might find beautiful others might think it’s not. Not every women is jealous of you. This talk is about conceided b#i@ches, thank think that every man wants them and that all women are jealous of them.

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Jane
Saturday, October 26/2013 at 10:24 pm

I am a good looking white woman in my 40s. In my 20s I used to worry about everything from hair to makeup to what I wore and everything had to match. As I got older the pressure about being 20 disappeared and men who do come around are not just for sexual advances or flings. I am single now but I find I dont like to wear lipstick unless its something special like I am going to a party or dinner so I just wear a light gloss. I wear little makeup, foundation with a bit of blush and a neutral eyeshadow. I dont wear mascara that often either. I dont worry if I have designer clothes and purse. What I find if that the pressure is off, I am my own person. The odd woman who checks me out does not get jealous or have a snarl in her face and I could care less if she doesnt approve of what I am wearing. I dress for myself! I also find I am quite confident at my age I look 10 years younger than I am, and alot of men tend to flirt with me when I go out and mind my business allbeit not the type I would even look, I seem to attract me 35-40 range. I have been through alot in my life so nothing much bothers me perhaps its the confidence that attracts people. I am also not the showoff type, I am very laid back and caring and I feel it comes out in me….

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Suspicious Lucy
Monday, November 18/2013 at 7:00 am

Unfortunately, I view most women with suspicion. This might be the last entry so I will permit myself to detail.

When I was 6 I was sexually assaulted, repeatedly, by a woman who called me names I will not repeat.
She was a psych nurse at the time and hated beautiful women. She hated me for liking them. It pissed her off that my father loved me so much.
She experimented with psych drugs on me. The side effects were dismal.
She gave me penicillin in plentiful amounts which gave me thrush. She took great pleasure in ‘treating’ me.
She deliberately took the most unflattering photos of me and would show them to people, to my chagrin.
When I had my first period, it was my father who was the first to know, much to her rage.
When I was raped at 14, after my father took his life, she blamed me for looking like a slut.
I had terrible acne, which she ignored, telling me there were women worse off than me.

Fast forward thirty years. She is in menopause and I am suffering from serious PMDD which had me in psychiatric care for many years. I feared getting a period and played with the BC pill to delay it if I knew I was having to see her.
She sabotaged my food, cosmetics and period. She would steal my tampons. I managed. What kind of shrew puts sour cream into someone’s moisturizer and hair removal cream in conditioner? A psychopath!
I felt like muck. a loser. A waste of space. Yet she still had to have me around. She couldn’t live without me. I was her narcissistic supply.

That woman is my mother, or as I now call her, my Birthing Unit. (BU)
I called her on her behavior and she said I drove her to it. The final year of our association was Hell. She invalidated every positive thing about me. I started to keep my mouth shut and play down anything that made me happy. She stated her embarrassment of my lack of achievement.
She hated my sex life so much that she drove men away from me.
Seven years ago I let out such a scream which could have shattered every single piece of glass in my beautiful home.
The final blow came when someone asked her what it was like to have a late baby and how did I get on with the other siblings. She almost killed us with her pedal to the metal, driving us home to her greasy, filthy abode, where her overbearing husband would be waiting for his sandwiches.
.
Seven years ago I liberated myself from her undeserved wrath and crippling, toxic jealousy and sought help.
Now I know it wasn’t my fault. She was/is a screw up.

For the record, I am on a disability pension due to PTSD. I am 48 years old, I am very good-looking. I pass for 30, even after decades of being a junky and alcoholic. I keep fit and healthy these days.

I embrace my good fortune and my freedom. I don’t have children or a husband and I am happy this way. My house is lovely and I like my volunteer job. I also study and I love to read. I enjoy my own company and am not interested in men. It doesn’t stop women from excluding me in their activities. I cannot talk to men. It gets me into trouble.

I am about to see a lawyer, just to make sure that she does not access me if, God forbid, the worst happens to me and I don’t mean death. She will get a complimentary copy of whatever legals are drawn up.

She may have hurt me for over forty years and she will never get a chance to hurt me again. By the way, she is dog-ugly on the outside as she is on the inside. Rot in Hell, pig. I don’t think I will ever be truly happy until she dies.

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Jane
Monday, November 18/2013 at 1:11 pm

Biggest lesson I learned in life- I met a woman around 27 who looked like carmen electra and has a great personality when I was 25 with by boyfriend at the time at a dinner party. So many men loved her she had them floating around her even my bf was chatting up a storm. I was a bit jealous thinking maybe hell go after her, then she had to leave the table and i noted she was in a wheelchair! Did i ever feel bad for getting jealous!

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Holly
Saturday, December 21/2013 at 9:13 pm

I think there’s both truth and delusion in what Samantha believes. Because beauty isn’t the same as attraction, then some people will find her attractive and perceive her beautiful. However, I feel that Samantha veiws of herself aren’t exactly healthy.

Possibly she is been rejected in life for different reasons, but maybe her ego can’t handle this so has come up with a clever plan, because let’s face it, it’s so much nicer to believe that people dislike you because they are jelouse, but to believe they dislike you for other reasons will feel a’lot more painful.

There might be truth in her believes, but all in all it’s so much wiser to look at the full picture, opposed to parts of information.

I feel judging from the publics reaction, it’s more the case that Samantha has a disorder and would be benifishal if she got help.

I do feel awful for what’s happened to her, we are all human with.the caperbility of making mistakes.

I’m a firm believer in treat others how you wish to be treated, but I don’t guess that’s the way that human nature works, clearly not judging by the negative response.

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Vicky
Monday, January 13/2014 at 10:19 pm

I agree. I get a lot of unwanted attention but I don’t see myself as GORGEOUS, at all. but yeah, girls are evil to me, always have, always will. I’m not tall enough to be a model (or skinny enough!) but I have a pretty face, dress well, nice make-up. My skin is very VERY pale and I buy fake tan products probably every week- I wish I looked like Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens or Fabiola Gatti. I also want to learn to surf. I think it would be a good idea, anything to be surrounded by guys instead of girls. I’m almost scared of interacting with girls. I give them a chance every time, but always the same outcome. just evil for no reason.

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Jane
Wednesday, January 15/2014 at 7:27 pm

I would just like to mention that I think the biggest problem in canada with women of any age over 20 is this multicultural policy. I remember a canada when women got along and there was alot more opportunity but you had to study and work for it to get there. There were no handouts like alot of minority groups get now. I never had a handout, I had to get loans to study with no grants and it took me 12 years to p ay them off. I was never hired to fill a quota becasue I am white. I never got subsidized housing like aot of newcomers to canada get just because they are not white. Where I volunteer we had a call from a black woman new to canada- she wanted a free computer (we sell low-cost computers to low income people and we are all volunterrs). She is a single mom who the govt helped to get a subsidized apt for 300 a month. She was acceptedd to go to school FT paid for by taxpayers at 28000 for the year. She was demanding a free coputer and was not even one bit grateful for all that canada had given her considering she is only new to canada. She mentioned she had a deadbeat husband and finally tired to turn it into a racial issue if you can imagine. We are only there to help people on welfare and disablity, she is living alot richer than these poeple. How dardare her. There are many in canada going hungary who have been here for 400 years or longer and in ottawa there is a 12 year waiting list for subsidized housing for thousands of people, she got to jump the line! I am very sick of this demanding attitude. I come from a province where we get leftovers for the federal govt and alot less than any newcomer gets, we dont eve have daycare or free prescriptions like ontario and quebec does and very little subsidized housing, and we are the oldest province in canada which means most of us have been there for centuries like my family.

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JSS
Sunday, February 9/2014 at 10:30 pm

I do think some women hate other women for being perceived as beautiful, but I think there could also be other factors as well. With the case of Ms. Brick, I think her arrogance at calling herself beautiful might annoy the crap out of some people and perhaps, that’s why they don’t like her. I think I’m a rather attractive woman, but I don’t go around shoving it in people’s faces, or I wouldn’t be surprised if they hated me. Humbleness goes a long way.
I did work with this one girl who everyone thought was drop dead gorgeous (I thought she was more attractive than me, but was happy when people often confused us lololol) Anyway, every woman around our age at work HATED on her constantly and I don’t think she was really rubbing her looks in anyone’s face, either. However, a lot of people complained about her attitude in other ways, like that she was a bit bossy and an evangelical, so she was preaching to people all the time. I often asked myself was it her attitude or her looks that made these women hate her so much? Of course it’s just as possible they were saying the same things behind my back and each other’s. I have definitely felt that from other women, that they simply nit pick out of jealousy to cut another girl down. I’m never quite sure if they are really annoyed by the attitude or personality, or if they just look for things because they’re jealous, my guess is it’s a bit of both…????

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Jane
Monday, February 10/2014 at 8:56 am

I would also like to comment that some minority races have major self-esteeem/jealousy issues. My first husband was from Iran but he said he would never marry an indian or iranian woman because of their high insecurity and jealousy. In some cultures its part of their culture (like gyanian also I believe are like this but so are the men). He said what attracted him to a woman was confidence and independence, self-love and a kind, kindred spirit to others around her. When you think about it its true. No matter what a person’s race is or how old they are, those who have this radiant self-love their beauty just shines through. Also if they are in a situation when others are trying to upset them because they are jealous, they are not even affected, they just act nice to that person, maybe its a part of being in the christian faith that makes alot of women like this, both black and white. When I run across a black woman before I even say Hi or wonder why type of person they are, I can feel this positive energy flying off their bodies and I know they are amazing loving people to all. (the reason I say black is I find where I live some blacks are very difficult to deal with and some are amazing, I think the reason for all this hate is people coming to canada and not being canadian, they stay in their ethnic ghetto and therein lies the problem. When I grew up my high school was 98% white and the minorities and us all got along as one culture, but it would have been odd for me to bring a minority home as as friend at that time.

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sam
Thursday, February 20/2014 at 3:20 am

Personally, I love seeing a beautiful woman, and I admire her and aspire to be beautiful on the inside and out, and want others to feel that way as well. It would only make me smh if a beautiful person used their natural ability to have people gravitate towards them for selfish or wrong reasons.

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Li
Friday, May 30/2014 at 6:31 am

She is pretty, and I am a woman and I love seeing beautiful around me, be men or women. I like people that try to take care of themselves the best they can in their possibilities, and I dunno whats wrong with that.

I don’t like sitting on a bus or being near people who clearly didn’t shower for a week, or with oily hair, or wearing clothes that clearly are not a good fit for that person and I feel bad whenever I feel like I am not top class of my appearance (sometimes I have bad nail polishing cracking and I am not a miss perfect nail/appearance either). I think envy come from people who have insecurities. I have noticed many women give me looks for wearing a beautiful dress or something that makes my body looks more desirable like a beautiful but defining skirt (I am not talking about my intrinsic beauty but picking the right clothes, so on), but usually those same women looked sad and miserable/in a rough patch (dressing like a potato sack prob because they have kids/are tired, etc) and I understand their rough patch, been there too, but why envy what other people are doing/or are just because you cant/dont want/feel like doing it too. I wished everybody was beautiful in their own way, dressing beautifully and in beautiful environments, why being stingy/jealous with beauty?

Sure nobody likes arrogant people either, so maybe in that lady from the DM she says to other women how pretty she is and so on, and that maybe make her friends a little turned off too.

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Lee
Friday, May 30/2014 at 6:09 pm

Well beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so what you are describing doesn’t really exist as it is your taste and only applies to you.

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Mea
Friday, May 30/2014 at 6:08 pm

There is no such thing as being so pretty it gives you problems, I don’t believe it (and I am a woman) – You might be “born” a knock-out, but most people can get to that level though makeup and other enhancements. If you wish to stop people from paying attention to your beauty, then stop drawing attention to it with makeup and whatever else you are wearing and stop complaining.

I really believe beauty gives you much more good than bad – If you don’t believe me I dare you to go out for a week with a fat suit on, no makeup, greasy hair or something like that – people do really act differently around you. I know this because I was an unfortunate child, hehe.

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